The most important work we can do, individually and globally, is the healing and prevention of traumas so that we don't pass them down to future generations. This blog is a working tool to contribute to this good work.
This website is fascinating. I am a middle-aged counselor who is currently seeing one! After all of these years I am realizing that I do not have continous memory. My mother was a raging borderline who attemted suicide numerous times. She liked to make sure that I found her.
I am very disturbed by my gaps in memory and unsure how much I want to remember. My brother became a drug addict, my sister got pregnant to get out of the house and…I remained.
I have had a lot of difficulty letting people get close to me. I am comfortable getting close to them, and with any/all discosure from them…but I struggle. Hence- I get some of my intimacy needs met by work. My other needs get met in therapy.
Continue to write folks…you find yourself that way.
Thank you for stopping by! There’s quite a bit of information about insecure attachment disorders on this blog. Once I realized I had ‘one of those’ pieces began to fit together.
“I am very disturbed by my gaps in memory and unsure how much I want to remember.” — Because you describe your mother the way that you do, my guess is that the information here about how interactions with early caregivers form the body-brain differently when we have ‘different’ mothers (to put it most mildly) might be helpful for you, too. We were formed differently — the only main ‘salvation’ being the presence of some other stable, loving early caregiver. These early experiences form us, and have become a part of us, but lie within the implicit memory of our body and cannot be recalled (usually) consciously.
Our body has a wisdom in terms of memory and what I call ‘self disclosure’. It sounds like your childhood was horrifically traumatic. Poke around here — you can search with the search bar, too. Hope to hear from you again!! All the best, Linda
Stop the Storm 
This website is fascinating. I am a middle-aged counselor who is currently seeing one! After all of these years I am realizing that I do not have continous memory. My mother was a raging borderline who attemted suicide numerous times. She liked to make sure that I found her.
I am very disturbed by my gaps in memory and unsure how much I want to remember. My brother became a drug addict, my sister got pregnant to get out of the house and…I remained.
I have had a lot of difficulty letting people get close to me. I am comfortable getting close to them, and with any/all discosure from them…but I struggle. Hence- I get some of my intimacy needs met by work. My other needs get met in therapy.
Continue to write folks…you find yourself that way.
Thank you for stopping by! There’s quite a bit of information about insecure attachment disorders on this blog. Once I realized I had ‘one of those’ pieces began to fit together.
“I am very disturbed by my gaps in memory and unsure how much I want to remember.” — Because you describe your mother the way that you do, my guess is that the information here about how interactions with early caregivers form the body-brain differently when we have ‘different’ mothers (to put it most mildly) might be helpful for you, too. We were formed differently — the only main ‘salvation’ being the presence of some other stable, loving early caregiver. These early experiences form us, and have become a part of us, but lie within the implicit memory of our body and cannot be recalled (usually) consciously.
Our body has a wisdom in terms of memory and what I call ‘self disclosure’. It sounds like your childhood was horrifically traumatic. Poke around here — you can search with the search bar, too. Hope to hear from you again!! All the best, Linda
Please see this April 2, 2010 post
+FOOLED BY AN ABUSIVE BORDERLINE? – MY MOTHER’S EXPERT DISTORTION OF REALITY
by clicking on this link:
https://stopthestorm.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/fooled-by-an-abusive-borderline-my-mothers-expert-distortion-of-reality/