**1953 – MOTHER’S DIARY – PART TWO

061109 MOTHER’S 1953 DIARY PART TWO

June 1, 1953 to December 31, 1953

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1953

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Sun., June 7, 1953

Only 1 month to go now before “baby”!

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Thurs., June 11, 1953

Johnny’s Baby Brother (?)

How Johnny loves his “baby brother” already, as he calls him.  If I’m going to read a book to him in the rocking chair he climbs up ever so gently and says “I’ll sit next to my baby brother.”

The other day I walked into the bath-room in my slip and he looked at me, then giggled.  “Oh Mommy, baby is getting so bit” – then a moment’s pause, and “too big – to FAT.”

Several days ago he came up to me all on his own – and said something about ‘baby’ and then – “Momma I want to kiss him.”  I told him to save it til he came.  But that wouldn’t do!  He came over and sweetly kissed my tummy, little eyes shining!  “I kissed my baby brother.”  P.S. I know he won’t care if he has another sister – certainly we won’t and Linda would love it.  [I’m not even 2 yet, would I care?]

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[she wrote nothing in her diary for John’s 3rd birthday on June 15, 1953 – though she probably wrote something in his baby book]

Thurs., June 18, 1953

Boy’s names:  Steven Hunter Lloyd, David Hunter Lloyd — ?

Girl’s names:  Beverly Lloyd, Cynthia Lloyd.

Greek Mythology, Cindy, One of the titles of Artemis, Greek Goddess of the moon, corresponding to the Roman Diana.

There hath none pleased mine eye but Cynthia, none delighted mine ears but Cynthia, none possessed my heart but Cynthia.  I have forsaken all othr fortunes to follow Cynthia, and here I stand ready to die, if it please Cynthia. – John Lyly, Endymion

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Scrap of paper note in book, dated July 11th —  I think she meant June 11th — I’ve decided to give Johnny a little Birthday Party.  His birthday falls on a Mon. [his birthday June 15, why is this dated July 11th?] and I never feel the same about celebrating on another day if it can be helped.  I think he’ll enjoy having some children come.  I have the house cleaned so perfectly for the coming of the baby that it will be easy for me.  We hinted to mother too, as the children are to small and most are scattered so anyways.

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another scrap of paper in book dated July 13th

I think she meant June 13th — Today has been a hectic day – I mustn’t always pretend that the children are always little angles because there are times, like today, when they’re not.  But then, I remind myself that after all they’re only children and how good and cooperative they usually are.  I think that perhaps they have to be naughty or unruly some of the time so that we will appreciate how good they’re most of the time.  [Linda note:  No, mother, that’s NOT what children ages 2 and 3 think.]

Johnny needs his nap.  In fact we all need our sleep.  He has been skipping them for 3 days and I don’t want it to become a habit.  [If she has the date right, and this is 1953, then she just had a baby on July 10th – I’m not sure if these scraps belonged in the 1953 diary.]  He still requires them as he’s so very sleepy and unhappy if he misses them.  A vicious circle starts, he feels grumpy because he’s tired, becomes overtired, I get cross, etc.  It just ruins our whole day.  Tomorrow I will try ignoring it if he doesn’t take one as spanking doesn’t seem to do any good.  It makes me so miserable too.  I especially wanted him to be extra rested these days because of his approaching Birthday and party.

Oh well, that’s how it goes.  I went downtown tonite to get things for the party. We all ate early and I got the children’s pajamas on and all Bill has to do is to pop them in to bed.  [she has a piece here with the birthday party list of games, refreshments, etc.

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Friday, June 19, 1953

Bill brought a library book home ‘Your Baby’s Name’ to help us in choosing a name for our baby.  There’s a poetry and prose section in it with some of the sweetest poems – I want to copy some of them.  This one in particular:

“The Unborn” expresses so well how I feel.  It’s one of the most beautiful poems I’ve ever read and perhaps someday I will show it to Linda she when she’s about to have her baby.  [Linda note:  Well, that didn’t  happen!]  Several others I’ve copied into the children’s books and I have one set aside to write in our new baby’s book too!

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Sat., June 20, 1953

THE UNBORN

By Julia N. Finch

Thou art my very own,

A part of me,

Bone of my bone

And flesh of my flesh.

And thou shalt be

Heart of my heart

And brain of brain –

In years that are to come to me and thee apart….

In a soft and silken chamber set apart –

Here, just beneath my happy heart, —

Thou didst lie at dreamy ease

While all my being paid

Its tribute unto thee.

What happy hours for thee and me

As when a bird

Broods on its downy nest –

So would I sit

And watch the flit

Of idle shadows to and fro,

And brood upon by treasure hid

Within my willing flesh.

And when there stirred

A little limb – a tiny hand! –

What rapturous trills of ectasy

Shook all my being to its inmost citadel

Ah!  None but she who has borne

A child beneath her breast may know

What wondrous thrill and subtle spell

Comes from this wondrous woven band

That binds a mother to her unborn child

Within her womb

As in the earth –

That fragrant tomb

Of all that lives, or man or beast –

Soft blossoms bud and bloom and swell,

So disdst thou from my body gain

Sweet substance and royal feast

Then through the gates of priceless pain

Thou camest to me – fair, so fair,

And so complete

From rose tipped feet

To silken hair!

And there beneath each pearly lid,

There gloved a jewel – passing rare!

It moves and breathes!  It slakes its thirst!

At my all-abundant breast!

Oh, moment born of life – of love!

Oh, rapture of all earth’s high, high above!

Three lives in one –

By loving won!

My own – and thee –

Oh, bond divine!

Our little child!  Our little child!

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[she continues] All the while I am writing these poems in my Diary “My Unborn” is vigorously kicking me.  Oh, how strong he’s and active, even now when his time is so close!

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Tues, June 23, 1953

Went to Drs today.  Everything’s fine, lost 5 lobs!

[she has another poem written here – I am not going to copy it]

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Sunday, June 28, 1953

Johnny is certainly his Daddy’s Boy on week-ends.  He isn’t 10 feet away from him all the while he’s home, except when asleep.  He even hates to take a nap for fear he’ll miss something.  Up to lately Linda has been so happy and content to play in her room until I’ve gotten my work done and then around 11:00 we’ll go out-doors together.  [Linda note:  All morning, until 11?  Playing alone in my room?  At 23 months old?  Well, at least the housework was getting done while I was kept safe from traffic and broken glass.]

(We got in this habit because for so long this yard wasn’t fenced in and then there was so much broken glass etc. from the previous tenants that I just didn’t dare let her out alone.)  Well, now that the warm weather is here at last, she’s been going out more and more and now wants to be able to follow Johnny constantly, running in and out on her own.  After baby comes I’m going to try to let her have more freedom in that way.

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Mon. June 29, 1953

“MAKE BELIEVE, MAMA”

I was washing the dishes this morning and Johnny was busily playing in his room.  He had on a pair of rather well-worn short pants that I had bought him quite awhile ago thinking he’d grow into them.  (I’ve learned – now that he’s grown into them, they’re just about worn out).  Anyways those are the only pants that don’t have pockets and like all little boys Johnny loves to fill his pockets.  He called to me and said, “Mama, don’t I have any pockets?”  Then he came to the kitchen and said, “Oh, see I do have a pocket – right here – and I have my money in it.”  He has such an imagination which I am grateful for but I have tried several times to show him the difference between reality and otherwise – but it’s quite something for a small child to learn.  So I said, “No, honey, you don’t really have a pocket.”  He said, “Oh Mama, Make Believe.”

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[Linda note:  Personally I suspect that this is the stage of childhood, between the ages of 3 and 5 during which a child is working hard to develop a workable Theory of Mind as it can contain themselves in the world, and during which magical childhood thinking has to transform into a version of the ‘real world’, that the introduction of severe trauma can interrupt the healthy working-out of these developmental stages.  I think loss, trauma, and possibly sexual abuse suffered by my mother during this period of her childhood — built upon an already shaky early insecure attachment system, is where her mind began to make non-ordinary adjustments that later manifested in her mental illness.  Problems during this early childhood developmental stage can end up causing distortions of reality, including within relationships to/with others that are typical of Borderline Personality Disorder.]

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Tues., June 30, 1953

I bought this material for a little night gown for Linda but then found several darling seersucker pajamas for less than I could make them and have decided to make a little dress instead.  [there’s a little piece of cream fabric with tiny pink roses on it taped into the diary here]  I would love to get even an old second hand sewing machine this fall so as to make a lot of the children’s clothes and mine too.  I could save so much and such fun to make clothes for my little girl!  [reminds me of dressing a doll]  I’ve decided to try this:  with a little sundress pattern and a cape to match:  if it turns out cute I’ll make the same pattern in eyelet and blue chambray.  She does Love pretty things and will finger a dress and say “Oh, Mama pretty!”

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Special Data page:

At the end of this month my thoughts are many as to what this next month will bring.  We’re now a family of 4 and it seems miraculous to me that by this time next month our 5th member will be several weeks old and yet he hasn’t made his appearance yet.  What in all this world is more wonderful?  He does not let me forget about him though.  He’s the most active baby yet.  I used to think Johnny was active while Linda was always so quiet, but this baby even now turns, kicks and I think turns somersaults and “boxes”.  I think of him as a ‘personality’ already – and love him dearly.

Johnny loves his unborn brother or sister too, although he does call him ‘baby brother’ and seems quite insistent.  I called him that to avoid confusing him and it has stuck.  He speaks of him frequently and so sweetly.

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Wed., July 1, 1953

Today I had to make the trip to the Dr. and how I hope it’s my last.  I hadn’t been away from the house for a week and having been dying to go to a show for weeks.  I think we’ve only been once in 5 months.  Mother was coming up to watch the children anyways so Bill suggested my meeting him Downtown and eating and going to a movie!  First I was thrilled and then I remembered how I want to do these things but ‘my body’ won’t always cooperate.  (Although really, I think I’m doing pretty well after seeing and hearing the other women at Drs. Talk).  I don’t feel at all heavy until the end of the day – and then not terribly (but I am!)  Well, I decided to go and was gone from house from 1:00 to 10:00 and felt wonderful for it.  Looked at patterns and material (bought some of both, blouse material for 65 cents) met Bill, had dinner and such a good show.  Came home on bus, marvelous out and so glad I went.

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Thurs. July 2, 1953

Formula:  WATER + DIRT+ 2 CHILDREN = MUD BABIES AND result:  A WONDERFUL TIME!

[Linda note:  This makes me think again, like it did when I was transcribing some of my father’s letters, that if it was ACTUALLY the mental illness that made my mother so terribly, un-reason-able mean – then what a tragedy it was that her own potentially happy and healthy life was really stolen from her – and because of that theft due to the mental illness, my life was altered as well.  What if we end up finding that an abusive person’s own life has been stolen from them – the ability to live a HAPPY life, full of what my mother is describing here on July 2, 1953 – and all the terribly painful, terrifying, traumatic incidents of our childhood would not have happened at all – if she had not been mentally ill?  The big question also then becomes, “Would she still have been such a MEAN MOTHER if she hadn’t been mad-mentally ill?]

Such a wonderful day for the children!  [Linda note:  The sad part is that I know over the years that my other siblings often had equally ‘happy days’ while I was (1) being punished somewhere else, (2) deliberately left out of most of the family’s later happy times by my mother, (3) recuperating from some horrible beating-incident that I could not have enjoyed anything anyway,  (4) being so terrified that she would ‘strike again’ at any unforeseen moment that I could not enjoy anything anyway, or (5) all of these at the same time.]  The weather is very, very hot now and they’re anxious each day to go ‘under the hose’.  Once or twice a week, I feel, is really enough but they would love it every day I’m sure.  Next month we want to get them one of these rubber pools they have out.

Well today I really devoted to them and sewing on my new blouse material and Linda’s little dress, which I took out-doors with me.  They played out this morning for well over 2 hours and out again this afternoon after nap until Daddy came home at 5:00.

All winter Johnny has insisted on calling a hole out in the back-yard a swimming pool.  Well, today his dream came true and I let him fill it with water and they both sat out there and played with the mud making cakes, pies etc. having the most wonderful time TOGETHER!!  My 2 mud babies!

[Linda note:  I will always believe that these early months of my life that my brother so loved me and I could so love him back, these months of being WITH him, being TOGETHER with him are what saved me, saved my mind, saved my life.  I don’t think during these early months that mother could have easily kept me apart from my brother.  He would not have allowed it, not even at his very young age – or because of his very young age.  On the other hand, I do not believe my mother had these kinds of experiences with her own 2-year-older brother.  I suspect that he was mean to her.  He certainly was mean to her as he got older.  I do not think that we can ever overemphasize the power that siblings have either to heal or harm one another.]

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Friday, July 3, 1953

Just got the nicest surprise – a phone call from Bill’s Mom to see when “Baby’ was due and to say how sorry she was that she forgot Johnny’s Birthday.  [Linda note:  Eventually my mother disowned my father’s family and ‘made’ him do the same.]  It did make me feel good and I’m sure Bill will be pleased!

Every day now I wonder:  Is this THE DAY?  I wonder and hope.  It’s not only to have it all over for me but this time there’s so much else to think about?  How Bill and Johnny will make out?  Fine, I’m sure.  Bill is so good with Johnny and he adores his Daddy.  How sweet Johnny is about ‘expected baby’ – I know they’ll both love him.  I have sent Linda’s little suit-case all packed with her ‘pretties’ to Grandma’s a week ago.  All is ready and waiting for the little Prince or Princess to make up his or her mind to come.  SOON, I hope.

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July 10, 1953 Cindy was born – no entry in her journal

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Sunday, August 16, 1953

CURLY-LOCKS

Johnny has a new pet name for his darling Linda:  “Curly-locks” from his nursery rhyme book.  The sweetest part about it is that he thought it up all by himself.  He saw the picture of the little Curly haired pretty girl sitting on the cushion in his book and immediately thought of Linda.  One morning after he got up and she was still in bed, he knocked on her door and said “Curly locks are you awake?”  Then he recited the whole rhyme to her.  Ever since it’s been Curly locks”!  He wanted all of us to call her that but I explained that we would still call her Linda but to him she’s still Curly locks.  It sounds so cute to hear him say it when nobody is even around and she loves it!

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Thursday, August 20, 1953

Linda is Toilet Trained!

I think I can safely say that Linda really is T.T.  Lately she has been telling me when she wants to “go potty” and does her duty in just a few minutes after being put on.  She has worn panties minus an accident for weeks now and she shall have some new pretty panties for her Birthday.

She does try so hard to be ‘a big girl’ as he [sic] says.  She’s talking very well now and is a little mimic of Johnny even to his “Why”.  She makes sentences now, of course not at the stage that Johnny is (he’s really talking and conversing now almost perfectly – has a little trouble with I am (sometimes says ‘I are’) they try to talk together and really do quite well.

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Monday, August 24, 1953

Everyone that sees Cynthia remarks on how truly beautiful she’s.  Mother once told me I mustn’t say my babies are beautiful when once in front of the girls [I think here she means her girlfriends]– when asked how Linda looked as a baby, I remarked that “I couldn’t believe my eyes every time I looked at her as she was so beautiful” – and it was the truth.  Mom thought the girls might think I was bragging.  She was truly beautiful as a baby and still is as a little girl.  I am so glad Cynthia is lovely too and although I won’t tell outsiders I think they’re both the loveliest, sweetest little girls in the whole wide world – most beautiful, too.

Today two women came to sell me something and both said they’ve seen many babies in their work but never one as beautiful, alert and advanced as Cynthia!!

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Sat., August 29, 1953

Cynthia’s schedule (?) at 7 weeks.  [most of page blank, I guess she didn’t come back and fill this out]

Baby is so beautiful – so pink and white and chubby.  She truly is like a big baby doll.  Her hair is so silky and soft – and so very curly – I think she’ll have ringlets all over her head.  It’s still a very dark crown and her eyes are very blue.  She smiles and goos so sweetly showing off the deepest dimples.  She doesn’t sleep very much as she’s very interested in everything. – very alert!!

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Sunday, August 30, 1953

Cold and gloomy

“OUR LITTLE HELPER”

Today has been a pleasant day for everyone.  We decided to stay home this week-end and get ‘caught up’ with ourselves.  It seems there has been a continual “something” – Doctor’s visits, etc.  I was going to celebrate Linda’s Birthday with the family today but because we were all tired etc. decided t post pone it il next Sun. but tonight I realize it has to be tomorrow ON her birthday as no other day will be the same!!  Charlie has to work tomorrow evening but maybe Carolyn and the children can come down. – Grandma will be here anyways.

Johnny tagged after Bill outdoors today – this morning Bill didn’t start right in working as usual out-doors and Johnny was most upset.  He kept saying “Let’s get to work Daddy; let’s get our tools – the yard is so messy, let’s get to work.”  Was very happy when Daddy got to work and helped him all day raking, etc.  Linda followed me all morning saying “I’ll help, Mommy, I’ll help.”

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Monday, August 31, 1953

Linda’s 2nd Birthday [nothing else written]

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Tues. September 1, 1953

Just measured ‘baby’ – she’s 23 ¾”.  Such a big baby!  — how she goos and smiles.  Today I tied 2 rattles on the side of her carriage and she was contented banging them with her fists for a long while [she was 6 weeks old?]

(10:00 P.M)  Cynthia has been going to sleep the last week or so about 8:00 or 8:30 but to-night she just couldn’t seem to settle down although she was very sleepy.  She lost her 6:00 bottle completely – something she hasn’t done for weeks and just seemed to have a tummy ache after-wards.  Kept going to sleep and waking up again.  I brought the rocking chair out and rocked her some and she went right off.  Such a cuddly baby and loves to be loved!!

This morning Johnny greeted me “Wasn’t it a nice Birthday Party last nite?”  Linda played with her new toys all day long.  She called continually on her toy phone and jabbered just like Mommy does.

Sometimes I feel so full of love for the children that I just want to remember the one particular little thing that happened that is so sweet.  Perhaps it’s a glimpse of them playing nicely together out-doors, or some sweet gesture they make.

Yesterday I looked in her room to find her sitting on her new little chair Grandma gave her with her new dolly in her arms all wrapped up in a little piece of blanket I gave her – rocking back and forth singing “Rock-a Bye Baby” so sweetly.  When she saw me she smiled so sweetly I gave her a big hug and kiss and – it was one of those moments I’ll never forget.  A picture I’ve held in my heart since I was a girl and there it was – my own little beautiful girl loving her dolls and someday her baby!!

[Linda note:  Well, of course there’s a lot I could say right here – Mother so alone as a little girl playing with her dolls – the fact that I don’t think she could tell the real difference in her own mind between her children and dolls – the fact that I was repeatedly admonished throughout my childhood because I ‘never played’ with my dolls, or if I did briefly, they were soon sick and could do nothing so I had to leave them alone – that my mother told me often as a child that I could not be a fit mother because I didn’t play with dolls, etc.  Would she have allowed me to do to my dolls what she did to me?]

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Thurs, September 3, 1953

How cold the mornings are lately – I called up the gas Co. to have the furnace put on.  Everyone says we’re due for a hot spell soon – I hope summer isn’t over yet.
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[There’s a letter in here to Dear ‘Mom’, dated September 3, 1953 that must have been to my father’s mother and was never mailed:

I understand your putting off letter writing because I’ve always been just as bad.  If I write as soon as I receive a letter all is fine otherwise it will usually be weeks and I’m sure my old friends back East have given up hope for me as a correspondent.

[Linda note:  Interesting to read her words here because when I was maybe 11 years old I had a Japanese pen pal.  I think I found her in the children’s Highlights magazine.  One summer day I was thrilled to receive a letter, written in perfect penmanship on a fine quality light weight beautiful rice paper.  I was so excited I showed mother the letter and told her I was going to write this girl back right away.  I had a lot of things I wanted to tell her about Alaska and about the homestead.  Mother belittled and shamed me in every possible way, criticizing me by comparing my handwriting (as sloppy) to this girl’s, and why couldn’t I be a better daughter like this girl must be to her parents, making them proud while I I just made my parents ashamed.  She told me that nobody EVER writes back as soon as they receive a letter, and how stupid I was to even think such a thing.  She told me only pitiful people ever wrote write back, and that it wasn’t ‘proper’ to do so.  I remember standing in front of her outside the Jamesway.  She had been working on her flower garden.  I remember her scathing response that crushed my joy.  She took the letter out of my hand and never let me write to that girl again.]

Each Xmas and with each baby they hear from me and yet I think of them often.  Many are the times I’ve wished I could pick up the phone and call you – less the toll charges.  The children do so many cute things now that I’d love keeping you informed on everything day by day.  We have a pretty good scattering of ages now and I could never decide if I had to what age is the sweetest.  Each one is absolutely adorable in their own way.  Bill and I are so proud of our BIG BOY now – how he’s developing!  Such a great big boy for 3 and so good (of course he’s a boy so I expect some mischief) and so smart.  On week-ends he’s Daddy’s big helper.  No job is too big – he thinks.  Raking, mowing the lawn or even heaving Bill’s big shovel.  (I wonder if it will continue).  I had a scare several week-ends ago when he came in the house calling me – not even crying.  I went to him to get the scare of my life.  He had fallen on a big stone fireplace incinerator in our back-yard he told me later – and his face was covered with blood.  At first I thought his whole face was cut but got him washed and he had 2 deep wounds one on his eyebrow the other an inch or so above.  The woman next door drove us to Emergency.  He never blinked an eye as they put him on the table and cleaned the wounds.  They had to take stitches and I think I suffered more than he did.  When he came out I tried to comfort him and he said “Heck, I’m no sissy.” And he isn’t.  Bill was equally proud when he didn’t murmur when Dr. took them out.

Linda or “Curlylocks” as Johnny calls her (from the Nursery rhyme) had a wonderful Birthday!  She really knew it was HER DAY.  We had a cake and ice cream after supper and gave her presents to her then (the few I hadn’t already given her).  We…….  [rest of letter is missing]

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Fri., September 4, 1953

17 Times As High As the Moon

This morning Johnny got his little red chair and his stool and brought them into the L.R where Grandma and I were.  He then proceeded in his play to climb first onto red chair then onto stool.  As he reached standing position he said, “Seventeen times as high as the moon.”  from his nursery rhyme “Old Woman Tossed Up in the Basket.” Then he jumped down, ran in his room, and got a stick from his lob cabin set – climbed up onto stool again and started waving stick around in the air.  I started to explain that he’d hurt himself and what was HE doing?  “Why, Mommy I’m taking the cobwebs out of the sky” and recited the whole nursery rhyme.  [Linda note:  No wonder he knew all the words to 300 longs ballads as he got older!  He has a talent.]

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Sat., September 5, 1953

Linda:  new shoes 8c, dress size 3

New panties and lace (for being good girl).  I took Linda downtown today ‘all by herself’ while Grandma stayed with ‘baby’ and of course Johnny was out “helping” Daddy all the time.  She got all dressed up in the pink corduroy coat Grandma made her and her new little purse.  She was so pleased saying ‘good-bye’ to everyone.

First we bought new shoes, still high top for her and some little red rubbers and new socks.  We shopped around for dresses but they were fantastically high in price so we went to Sears where I had a hard time picking one they were all so cute.  Finally decided on a darling aqua one in the new crinkle ice material that doesn’t have to be ironed.  It has a rose sash and a little flower embroidered in same color on front.  She had a wonderful time and ran from one to another when we got home – “See, see we went to store….”  So sweet.

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Wed., September 9, 1953

Linda’s picture taken!

I haven’t had a picture taken of Linda all alone and feel so badly that I missed having one of her babyhood – she was a perfectly beautiful baby!  — you can’t go back and time passes so quickly!

I brought her down to a studio near home and she was very good.  I thought she might act frightened but really seemed to enjoy it – I do hope they come out well.  [I will post this when I find it!]  All the poses were of her sitting in a little chair.  How I wish they were in color.  She truly was a picture sitting there in her new dress posing so sweetly.  I’ll never forget just how she looked!  Just think Linda is 2 years old now!

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Thurs., September 10, 1953

Our Cynthia is 2 months old

Such a beautiful big baby.  Her hair is still dark but more brown now and very, very curly!  After her bath I brush it til it shines and a few minutes later it has sprung back into tiny ringlets.  She loves her bath.  I give it to her as soon as possible in the morning as it saves changing her gown twice and she’s so comfy and happy afterwards.  Several times a day now I put cereal in her formula and it seems to fill her up and stand by her longer.

She’s so alert and wide-awake.  Loves to look around and see everything.  I have put her in the ‘Baby Butler” in tiny baby position and does she love it.  She sits there and turns her head her eyes taking it all in.  Is so pleased when I talk to her and tries to coo and sing when I sing to her.  She coos, gurgles and smiles showing her lovely deep dimples but only when she feels like it.  Is often very serious and observing!  Such a personality already.

When she’s very sleepy looks like a baby doll and loves to be cuddled then.  Is always ready to be held and talked to but can’t put her head down for fear she’ll miss something.

The children love her and she enjoys watching them play.  Is very fond of rattles and smiles with enjoyment while I’m tying them up.  If in the mood, will play for an hour with them.  It’s hard to believe she’s only 2 months.  People are amazed outside when told as she’s so big, lovely and smart!!

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Tues., September 15, 1953

I have really cleaned house today!  My goal now is to get the house as clean and perfect as it was before ‘baby’ came and to try to keep it that way all the time (ha, ha).

I washed curtains in L.R. and windows the other day, and washed and waxed kitchen and BR floor.  Today I cleaned our BR very well, washed rug and bedspread.  Washed and waxed Linda and Johnny’s floors and windows, etc.  Tonite I really am tired!  I feel if I can once get it all fixed again it won’t be so hard to keep it that way.  Who’s fooling who?  It’s a losing game!  But tomorrow I can enjoy, I hope.

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Wed., September 16, 1953

COMPANY

What good children have I!  Mark and Kathy Heatherington came at 2:00 P.M for a visit, as arranged.  This morning we all walked to store and had an early lunch and nap.  The children slept but I was sure ‘baby’ would never go to sleep but finally ‘went off’ and slept all the time she was here!!!

Johnny and Linda were so good!  How proud I was of them.  They shared their toys and were so happy to have company.  We haven’t had very much.  They looked so tall next to Mark.  Linda is about 6 mos. Younger and is at least 3 or 4 inches taller!!

I’m so glad I have more than one child – they have lots of love and attention but are not spoiled.  They’re just independent enough and yet so loving.  I love them so!

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Maybe she just got too busy – but the book pages are empty after this September 16 entry

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On Thurs. November 19, 1953 she wrote at the top of the page

A “HUG-KISS” from Johnny” but that’s all she wrote.  Strangely it was written so hard it indented the next four or five pages with the image of those words.

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Friday, December 25, 1953

The nicest Xmas yet!

Santa Claus really came to our house.  He left a fire engine, a pedal truck (2nd hand) – left for a surprise out in the garage, a tractor and a jeep with a horn, really works, and trailer for Johnny [he was 3 ½]  A doll bed, a musical carpet sweeper, a stove and all kinds of little girl toys for Linda.  Baby was remembered too with a fluffy white toy kitty, rattles and a little doll.

Their stockings were full of surprises and oh such squeaks of delight from the children.  How much people miss on Xmas and all year round that don’t have children.  All of my anticipation this year has been – how much the children would enjoy everything and they have not let us down.  Every little thing we’ve done they’ve noticed – even to the placing of a little miniature e Xmas tree above the kitchen sill.  Oh, the wonder of it all when seen through the eyes of children.  Even the baby has seemed to know something very special has taken place.  (She hasn’t wanted to take a nap for days)

[Linda note:  When I get my grandmother’s writings, I know there are comments in there about how difficult Christmas was even for my mother’s grandmother.]

Grandma [her mother] stayed until about 11:00 and then went up to Charlie and Carolyn’s.  We visited their house after dinner and brought their presents to them.  It was all such fun.  Santa was good to them too!

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Tues, December 29, 1953

It’s very late but I just feel I must write a few lines – soon 1953 will be over and time passes so fast and I’m so busy I haven’t written all the dear things down that the children do!

— Bill went OUT tonite with the group of Mountaineers and just got home.  He enjoys the group a lot – it’s a very nice combination (Something worth-while to do and a reason for the organization and the enjoyment of getting out in the open with a nice interesting group of men.  We must make a point of meeting new people, our own age and children this year!!

How big the children are getting.  I know Johnny is up now when I hear him turn the bath-room light on and put the toilet seat up.  Then he proudly comes out – I got up, put the light on, put my own new Xmas slippers on and tinkled ALL BY MYSELF.  He’s such a big boy!!  Linda is good too.  She waits so patiently to be put on ‘potty’ in the morning.  I don’t even put her on at 10:00.  Sometimes she waits more than 12 hrs. and would truly die than have an accident.  Such a BIG GIRL too!  [Linda note:  And why at 28 months could I not go by myself?  Did I have to have her permission?]

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Well, that’s the end of the 1953 diary!

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2 thoughts on “**1953 – MOTHER’S DIARY – PART TWO

  1. SORRY FOR YOUR SADNESS. JUST SKIMMING. NOT SEEING ANYTHING TOO REVEALING. I AM STUDYING MENTAL ILLNESS. CURIOUS AND SORRY FOR YOU. THANKS FOR SHARING. PARENTING IS SO HARD.

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