Friday, July 22, 2016. As of lately life seems too complicated for me to begin to feel that I can ponder it effectively. If I cannot ponder I cannot write. Hence – few posts here!
I am not certain that this kind of silence ever satisfies a writer, so today I will at last put SOMETHING connected to what concerns me in the streams of my thoughts.
Take this, for example. We are, in my thinking, a species with WAY (times a trillion) too much capacity for learning and problem solving to be continuing to make such a huge mess of so much of what concerns ALL of us on this planet at this juncture in our evolution!
Thinking? Truth is behind us in the field of neuroscience and development of our brains as it clearly shows that HOW we come into this world and what happens to us through our connections with other human beings directly forms how our capacities develop. What we miss at the start of our life – and all the way through the final stages of the development of the higher cortical regions of our brain by age 25-30 – will leave us with depleted capacity to fully be our own best self.
Developmental deficits leave us unable – individually and collectively – to create TRUE happiness and well-being. Along this altered pathway we also make huge problems for the next generations to deal with.
Then all the aftermath of accumulated trauma leaves those next generations also depleted, very often because those people did not receive optimal care during their early development – and on and on and on things go – a process which found in my thinking a kind of image to express what en masse really cannot be put into words:
by ROBBY BERMAN (June 15, 2016)
Gears affecting gears affecting gears – in the process of acquiring information – and in the process of applying that information in specific ways to create a more coherent life.
So, skipping forward from the power of optimal human interactions that build optimal brains, I will write for a moment about something I invented today I call Pink Progress. This is in the arena of community interaction.
Lately as I complete the circle pathway on my evening walks once the glaring heat of the sun has diminished, the end part that takes me through a city park not far from the apartments where I live has had a gathering of beautiful African refugee/immigrant (not sure without asking) Muslim girls dressed in their glorious patterned and colored “traditional” clothing.
Last evening those 8 or so girls approached me as soon as I stepped from pavement onto park grass to form a semicircle around me as they in great animation began to engage me in friendly, curious, intelligent conversation. During this time they described to me that they can no longer play soccer because “the boys” took their ball. Missing also was their volleyball I saw them playing with a few days ago.
Now in this culture the girls are closely cared for by parents and grandparents never far from their loved ones. I will need to consult both with the girls this evening and with someone in their “caring cluster” about my Pink Progress plan I hope to put into action.
This was possibly the funnest investment of money I have ever made – depending on how this plays out. I now have one brilliant pink volleyball, one brilliant pink soccer ball and one brilliant pink triangle boomerang to contribute to these girls. The plan must include a firm commitment by all those involved that the BOYS do NOT play with any one of these items without the girls’ specific permission.
Sports? I have decided to frame this effort toward community enhancement within the sphere of athletics. I will tell the girls that I will also get them a basketball if they wish provided that diplomacy create a period of play time where the boys will leave the basketball court and two hoops to the use of the girls.
In this whole effort I also want to make clear that no one girl owns the equipment. It is being given to all of them. The girls will need to figure out how to manage this cooperative equipment.
Fargo, ND has hundreds of jobs open. It is a prime location for the acceptance of both refugees and immigrants in the USA. Fargo has always been a homogeneous town of predominately Scandinavian ancestry Lutherans. There is, as you can imagine, a very complex change happening here. (In this city of 105,000 – 5,000 of the people are “New Americans” – all have arrived here having survived earlier extremely traumatic circumstances.)
Although ONE God originated every world religion through a Chosen Manifestation throughout the duration of human evolution, this fact is far from being universally recognized. All the issues regarding the oneness of the human “race” as being ONE family are and will be in play here as time moves forward. The needs of the people coming here matter. How these processes will be negotiated I do not know.
I just found my one small “area of influence” as a dear friend of mine terms it. So far – I am very hopeful for a fun and positive empowering outcome!
LATER: Oh such a delight delivering the balls to the girls in the park this evening! So much precious beauty!! They LOVED the balls!!! The most touching part was when I was crossing the park grass heading home, and passed a group playing soccer with a lady – the kids were about 6-7, about 150′ from the older girls but they were sure watching. At least 6 of these little ones stopped me and so genuinely, so sweetly, THANKED me for giving the balls to the girls, for “being so kind to them.” I will NEVER forget this!
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Tags: adult attachment disorders, adult reactive attachment disorder, anxiety disorders,borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse,depression,derealization, disorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorder, empathy, infant abuse, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factors, PTSD, resiliency, resiliency factors, risk factors, shame