+FINDING TWO STRANGE DREAMS

++++

Wednesday, June 29, 2016.  In the middle of working slowly through my apartment going through things, readying to move come September.  Who knows how exactly I will travel or where I will end up?  I sure don’t.  Not yet.  This is a very difficult time for me.

As I cleaned out a Sterlite container this morning filled with my “office stuff” – 3-ring hole punch, small glass jar full of paperclips, collections of unused assorted cards, and more – I discovered a spiral notebook with only six lined pages still included in it.

I just read those pages and am left with “WHAT?”

I am NOT going to travel anywhere keeping this silly piece of writing, dated Tuesday, October 22, 2013 – DREAMS.

So this is  a kind of place-setting introduction here followed by dream (1) and then dream (2).  I think of my graduate training as an art therapist during which we were taught to “work with dreams as we work with art images.”

There are images in these pages, that’s for sure!  Do they make any sense?  Not particularly – not that I can see – not that I even care to comprehend.

I also think about the fact that for the majority of my years now-a-days I NEVER remember dreams.  So why did I write these down?  I do not know!  No idea.

But before I throw this beat up spiral remnant from my past, I am going to write these dreams into a post – for NO plausible reason that I can come up with!

+

Today I note that these dreams arrived at the end of the second week I had been back to North Dakota, having completely torn apart everything about my life for the past 16 comfortable years I spent living 1,700 south in a rural southeastern high desert Arizona area along the Mexican border.

I had come back to North Dakota, having once lived here and in this area for 20+ uncomfortable years.  I, on my own, would NEVER have come back here but there was crisis in my family and I could not stay away.

Right as I began to record what’s on these few sheets of lined paper into digital form I literally began to feel quite sick to my stomach.  Is this a sign to trash these papers without leaving any sign behind that they ever existed at all?

So I guess I will fight my way through this visceral reaction I am having to this effort to record what follows.  These are the ONLY sheets of paper stored within my “office space” here.  I must have kept them for some reason.

Here and now I find them again, in the process of preparing to acknowledge the ending of my nearly three year tenure here.  This geographical area and its human culture have NEVER been good for me!  I would guess that within the operations of these two dreams much of what I find difficult about living here is expressed.

I will transcribe the dreams – but I will not look any closer at what feels to be isolation patterns and difficulties with human interactions and communication expressed in them.  All of this today?  Strange.  Strange.  Strange!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Note:  A few days after my arrival back up here I traveled with my daughter on a work trip she had to take into north-central rural North Dakota.

+

DREAM (1):  Something Happened – or – Space Junk

From coming up to Turtle Mountain and from being back here – the common patterns and familiar northern rural life – as the seasons change – snow crunching on sidewalk and grass-creeping into spaces around buildings in the shade – trees bare.  Summer shutting down.

Patterns of collections of “the common” humanity – blending of voices/pitches rise and fall/laughter – peppered as they chatter about a common, shared life – of what?  Of nothing.  Of something.  Of anything.

All the workplaces of the many.  Long shadows of morning light shrinking into day – highlighting edges of scattered low clouds.  In the evening all reverses – people – most having left work – after supper – dark out – phone calls begin to travel.

“So and So (s/s) just found something very strange.” – form made of metal – new – shiny from yard light – sitting between parking lot berms – on grass beside wall – along front of s/s’s Boat’n’Bait Shop on Hwy #?  “It was just sitting there to the left of his door (shining in amber yard light).  Almost to his arm pits.”

More parts and pieces discovered around the countryside – in front of someone’s gate on dirt road when returning from Casino – at fork in road – one neighbor pondering piece/how to move it/other fork neighbor comes along – cell phones ring – stop working near pieces.

Curiosity grows – nothing appears criminal – (long time before local law enforcement finds out) – the magic words eventually enter the circling cell phone chatter – “space probe.”

“It’s gotta be a space probe!  We’ve been probed!  Or have we?  Who would send one here in pieces?  Nothing is smashed or broken like it would have been if it crashed.”

Whole community has to cooperate – whose pickup?  Who helps load parts?  Where should they meet to bring the parts together?

Usual bedtimes come and go.  Sleep = last thing on minds.

“Let’s meet at Alco – s/s and s/s – go first and save a space/no parking – direct traffic for deliveries and spectators.”

A sense of “If you build it they will come” grows.  “Star Trek” and “Space Balls” and UFO stories create a kind of a wonderment even in the most straight-laced.

The “We are not alone” feeling makes the growing crowds feel bigger than the humans filling them.

Odd shaped shiny pieces begin to arrive in mud-caked pickups – “We have to figure out a way to put this thing together.”

“How?  And how big is this thing?”

“What is it?  Must be junk if it landed here (in the middle of nowhere)” –

(Perhaps this happens other places in nation)

“Where did this come from?”

Finally law enforcement appears in Alco parking lot (after hours – now in the middle of the night) – Call the Feds?

Nobody does.  “It’s OUR mystery!”

Where are the rest of the pieces?

–Junk could not appear ONLY where people would find it

–Who are the rural geeks and engineers who could “decide” how this goes together?

–Found!!  Parts fitting together – “It IS a probe!”  “We put together our own probe!”  “Take it apart!”

–After all that went into getting it this far?

Debriefing

——– Whole thing was a game!  A research game – with interviews/forms after.  “Who did you interact with? – Differently than usual?  How did this feel?”

How/feel/whole thing?

“Would you rather that this had never happened?”

# end notes dream one #

+

DREAM (2):  Accidents Happen – or – Rowdy Crowd

Set outside a small town – maybe 20K?  Central person = Sheila?  Woman – upper crust money – above the average crowd – had no idea how to engage with “regular people” – 5 apes escape transport truck on main line through town – driver made choice to divert off route – (reason?) – What were chances apes could escape – AND close door behind them?

Woman – Sheila – confides in housecleaner – nobody knows she moved into posh country home of retired rich entrepreneur older man unmarried – (not even “success of marriage”) – could not have kids – holds head too high in public – story of his shoe fetish and closets full of stolen hotel towels – enema and the master bedroom all mirrored bathroom walls –

Man died w/o will – time passing – she will be expunged – where will she go?  (Vac carpets/leave patterns) – truth – so lonely – disconnected

The apes show up romping on her fancy wooden deck in middle of the night – racket – potted begonias – pale green wicker pieces thrown over the railing – she calls no one – the world has met her where she is – she sinks her teeth in, determined – to make time stand still – who will know?

How does she keep the apes from leaving?  One is long haired red hair – her favorite – Sheila names her Jill.

Locks them into 5 stall garage with 2 collectible – roadsters?  (restored and worth money) – Sheila won’t get them/she’ll get nothing – ex-wife/his kids/will take it all

“Accidents happen!”  After 12 years of caring for Andy as if he were her China gentleman doll – no thanks from his kids – cantankerous man!  Who deserves to get what?

Let the rowdy crowd go at it – need to get them food and water – how does she get her own car out without crowd escaping?  (her car – title in her name – at least she got that much taken care of – his image car for when she went to town shopping) –

What does she feed them?  Must go to another town where she is unknown – not to raise local eyebrows/suspicion at buying hoards/hordes of bananas and barrels of grapes – unnoticed?

All takes planning – run in door – open window only so far/remove screen/close so can’t escape/wide enough to throw in all his old food – boxes of cereal, bags of pasta – everything, anything to keep the crowd entertained – packets of paper Sweet-n-Low, butter pecan ice cream, stale rolls of Italian bread – challenge – to get her car out – enter garage and toss the food into opposite far corners away from her car – never had a garage door opened so slowly – closed even more slowly!

—-Young male, Charlie, got out – in spite of her efforts – talk about prioritizing!  She headed out the rock bordered circular driveway as Charlie hunched away under a (twin spire) pine.  The good of the one against the good of the many?

On her return – car full of “party food” for her supposed 25th anniversary celebration – she had cheerfully described to the large chain grocery store clerks who had assisted her –

—-a maroon 4-door car pulled off the road 100’ from her house – on the side opposite her drive (as Sheila steered around the last curve before her driveway) – young woman in denim Bermudas and flip-flops – thick brown hair in swinging ponytails – bobbing sideways along the shoulder peering around bushes –

—-Sheila knew with speeding heartbeats her secret was at least partly discovered

——–What to do next?

–Sheila recognized Betty who loved to run the trail around Lake Pheasant any time the weather was nice and her ex-husband had their twin Brownie Scout girls for visitation.

–Let Charlie ape go and feign complete surprise at Betty’s glimpse of a long-limbed foreigner frolicking in the forest?  Calls would be made; apes do not fall from the sky.  This crowd came from somewhere.

Sheila both knew and didn’t know enough, too much and not enough about this drama that had rapidly enveloped her – reacted by firmly leaning one elbow across her car horn while smiling widely as she sent a giddy wave toward bobbing Betty.  – A plausible reaction – sacrificed Charlie – who no doubt responded by diving deeper into the forest away from Sheila’s catch.

Nosed car into driveway – parked – walked at appropriate speed toward Betty while calling out to her – “Is anything wrong?”

The 20-some-year lie of being Andy’s loyal wife (and now his sad widow) paled in the face of the ridiculous construction Sheila found herself playing out with this pig-tailed ex-prom queen.

She stopped short of “I had no idea apes lived in the wild in this part of the world” – although this angle tempted Sheila who was finding herself feeling so much lighter about her life since she had opened the door to let the ludicrous transpose itself with what used to be the ordinary of her life.

“Never trust a prom queen” must have formed as Sheila’s mantra while her mousey self had passed through her eastern high school a decade before Betty had been born.  No chance of having her help herd Charlie back to his companions – so safest track was to play along with Betty’s drama until familiar isolation could again surround Sheila’s home.

# end notes dream two #

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Now I can comfortably take this old spiral notebook out and toss it in the dumpster!

That’s done. I did keep the back cover’s cardboard because it might be useful for something.

(It is inhospitably baking hot out there!)

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

Advertisements

+FEATHER AND STONE

++++

Monday, June 20, 2016.  There are perhaps more words in this post online at The Mind Unleashed – Uncover Your True Potential website than what anyone needs to read who already KNOWS they “are an empath” – but every so often even we can use a booster shot of reality.  Those who have never considered such a state-of-being-alive might also enjoy taking a look at this post:

30 Traits of an Empath (How to know if you’re an Empath)

+

Scroll down through the article to find the numbered list of these 30 traits –

+

While everyone needs to find and utilize soothing, nurturing, supportive and restorative people, places and experiences in order to maintain health on all levels, I think this process has to me MUCH more pronounced for “Empathic People.”  As world population grows by billions, as the environment deteriorates for living beings, the more complex the “inform-ation” empathic processes accumulate.

Because empathic abilities can be fatiguing it is even more important than ‘usual’ to find ways of making sure we are always getting stronger, not weaker.  This can all be tough going in a materialistic culture where it seems most people are running around like so many animals (birds, fish, etc.) accumulating goods while enduring few empathic interactions in the process.  Do these conditions create an overbearing overload on the most sensitive – including infants and young children?

Today I am simply pondering some of these things in terms of two images as I compare and contrast them:  Feather and stone.

In both cases I don’t imagine (image in my mind) either of these in individual terms as being full of SOUND.  I find this implication of silence interesting.  Do we receive empathic information silently?

What can “act upon” us – or act upon a feather or a stone, to move us?  How passive are we during these processes?

Do I receive information “in a feather mode?”  Can I proceed to protect myself in ways that make what I experience stone-like – for good reasons – without losing the information as it might be useful?  Which mode, then, is my “take in” mode and which mode is my “use it” mode?

What other images might arise for you when you think about the benefits, risks and processes of being on the very, very sensitive end of a spectrum of being-in-the-world?

What new universes of information are we being faced with in this time of rapid global changes?  Who is paying attention to what?  We really are information processors.  Our responses?  Tender, gentle, loving and kind.  At the same time our species is learning about justice, without which mayhem rules – and that is NOT a good thing.

We are all, globally forging a new world.  Humanity is growing up.  In the meantime the ride is bumpy and risky at best.  Perhaps what I need to do is visualize myself as an Iron Canary working in the mines of change.

Yeah.  I’ll try that image on awhile.

++

The Paper Kites – Featherstone (Official Music Video)

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH – THE TOUGH GET TO WORK MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE – NOW!

++++

Tuesday, June 14, 2016.  Never, NEVER did I see ahead when I started this blog seven years ago where the trajectory of my “stop trauma” efforts would take me.  I was willing to take off on a journey back then.  But there’s a spiral of concern going on here.  Into my future.  Into the future of all of us!

I can’t say I like where “this” is taking me.  THIS WHAT?

Violence in America?  (Let alone across the planet.)

What IS violence?  Is neglect violence?  If not, where, exactly, is the line between these two?  Don’t BOTH harm? How is HARM — good?  Is it nothing but sheer lunacy to ask questions like, “Which harm is more harmful than the other harm?”  My HEAVENS!  It is time for adults to wake up!

+

I will stop my spiraling journey of concerns long enough right here to mention this book, which I have not read yet.  I am four pages from the end of Socrates Cafe: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy by Christopher Phillips and next plan to read his May 2016 book, The Philosophy of Childing: Unlocking Creativity, Curiosity, and Reason through the Wisdom of Our Youngest.

But, even here, I must admit I do not know if I have the HEART (yet) to open up the covers to begin reading Childing.  A dear friend of mine today read to me a post Phillips has on his Socrates Café blog today —  please read:

On tragedies — and the opportunity youth present us to avoid repeating them

by Socrates Cafe | Jun 13, 2016

+

Followed this morning by an email mentioning THIS book, whose title alone sends me whirling through curls of what seem to be unending spirals of complexity – and concerns.  This book is an Amazon.com #1 bestseller in medical psychology:

The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups by Leonard Sax (December 2015)

+

It doesn’t take me any time at all, a blink of a twinkling of an eye, to put #1 above and #2 above together and land on this thought:  How absolutely terrifying it is to me to consider that it is our CHILDREN who

– although so few adults are or CAN (evidently) hear them –

are being faced with even considering the questions and answers to HUGE global-crisis questions that in their very essence are about problems NO CHILD IN A HEALTHY CIVILIZATION SHOULD EVER HAVE TO CONSIDER?

+

The world is changing so fast on so many levels of significance that there are VERY few on the planet who are able to keep them all in focus.  There ARE answers, and there ARE people working on solutions!!!!  The forces being set lose by defunct, outworn, archaic, and decaying patterns of human civilizations ARE at the same time being grabbed by the fistful to be used in the building of a new peaceful civilization:  Collaborators and workers on the grassroots levels of culture and society ARE building a new peaceful world that works now and in the future.  And, yes, the most significant positive changes on this planet are centered on programs empowering children and youth – with total adult support (see ‘building‘ link above)!

We are an organic species.  Everything we accomplish IS organic in process.  Every single person on the planet is part of this process.  There ARE answers for those who can pay attention.

Trajectories – tides – we CAN turn them!  What we think, how we feel, what we say and what we do MATTERS!  We ARE greatly empowered beings – IF we choose to wake up – we CAN and we WILL change the world for the better!

Paris Talks

“I charge you all that each one of you concentrate all the thoughts of your heart on love and unity. When a thought of war comes, oppose it by a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of love. Thoughts of war bring destruction to all harmony, well-being, restfulness and content. 

‘Abdu’l‑Bahá / 6. The Pitiful Causes of War, and the Duty of Everyone to Strive for Peace

++++

All together now – ALL OF US!

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+ON A ROLL – MORE OF WHAT MATTERS TO ME

++++

Saturday, June 4, 2016.  Welllllll…….  I DO have one more post in me today!  My baby sister shared this with me today – in her comment saying she knew how much I would enjoy this video – and she was so right!

This is what I am truly about in my lifetime – healing for all of us, our whole glorious, beautiful human race!  And this short video is one of the MOST beautiful ones I have ever watched!

The DNA Journey

Would you dare to question who you really are? These people took a DNA test to find out. You have more in common with each other than you think.

++++

In honor of the 1.6 billion relatives of ours who are Islamic, 22% of our world population, I also present this article (scroll down a little, it’s under the short slideshow):

Everything you need to know about Ramadan 2016

I am surrounded by refugee and immigrant families in these apartment complexes in Fargo, ND.  Such lovely neighbors and people in every way.  Blessings, prayers and love — to all around the world.

We are on our way to a permanent and lasting Universal Peace on this planet.  We all have a part to play in this glorious destiny.

++++

AND, while I am here – are a few more links I’ve found and am enjoying –

Tibetan Bowl Music – beautiful and so relaxing, as is this –

Rain and Native American Flutes – Relaxing Music

And this incredible instrument!

Hotel California (The Eagles) on harpejji g16 by Mathieu Terrade.

Here’s the link for the site that makes the harpejji instrument

+

And for some reason, THIS new information FEELS very important to me,  I deeply honor these ancient relatives of our species.  God has His reasons, not for us to fathom.

This very recent incredible discovery turns over so much of what we have thought we knew about hominid species’ life on this planet:

Early Neanderthal constructions deep in Bruniquel Cave in southwestern France

Neanderthals used fire in caves: French cave sheds new light on the Neanderthals

+

And here is a very interesting looking book!

Adult ADHD: How to Succeed as a Hunter in a Farmer’s World – June 19, 2016

by Thom Hartmann

+

Oh, and here’s another important book by the author of Socrates Cafe: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy

The Philosophy of Childing: Unlocking Creativity, Curiosity, and Reason through the Wisdom of Our Youngest – May 17, 2016 – by Christopher Phillips (who has written MANY books)

On Amazon.com about this book:

Weaving together philosophy, social science and neuroscience research, personal anecdotes and dialogues, The Philosophy of Childing takes a radically different approach to the traditional boundaries between childhood and adulthood to reveal how rather than lapse into adulthood, we can achieve what the Greeks of old call arete—all-around excellence—when we look to children and youth as a lodestar for our development.

Childhood is our primary launching pad, a time of life when learning is more intense than at any other, when we gain the critical knowledge and skills that can help ensure that we remain adaptable. This book weaves together the thinking of philosophers from across the ages who make the unsettling assertion that with the passage of time we are apt to shrink mentally, emotionally, and cognitively. If we follow what has become an all-too-common course, we denature our original nature—which brims with curiosity, empathy, reason, wonder, and a will to experiment and understand—and we regress, our sense of who we are will become fuzzier and everyone in our orbit will pay a price.

Mounting evidence shows that we begin our lives with a moral, intellectual, and creative bang, and in this groundbreaking, heavily researched and highly engaging volume, Christopher Phillips makes the provocative case that childhood isn’t merely a state of becoming, while adulthood is one of being, as if we’ve “arrived” and reached the summit. His life-changing proposition is that if we embrace the defining qualities of youth, we’re not destined to become frail, dispirited, or unhinged, we’ll grow in a way defined by wonder, curiosity, imaginativeness, playfulness, and compassion—in essence, unlimited potential.”

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+FANTASTIC! ACEs 178-page TOOLKIT DOWNLOAD LINK (FREE)

++++

Saturday, June 4, 2016.  OK.  Now one MORE post for today and I can drop my pen for the evening.  (Yes, I did have a bit of a backlog!)

Here is an outstanding free resource online for ANYONE involved with ACEs related concerns.  Any of us with high ACE scores are in the lifelong process of providing care for our self, so I see this tooklit as OUR toolkit, as well as a toolkit for those working or living with other people of any age who have a severe trauma history.

I sincerely and with deepest gratitude thank these  public health nurses in Spokane, Washington — Melissa Charbonneau, Peggy Slider and Rhonda Crooker — for their fantastic work in the creation of this toolkit that will help so many people!

There is a link in this short article (presented below in this post) by Jane Stevens to download the 178 page free toolkit — 1*2*3 Care  —

Public health nurses awarded for “1-2-3 Care Toolkit, a Trauma-Sensitive Toolkit for Caregivers of Children”

“Public health nurses at Spokane Regional Health District (SRHD) developed a 178-page toolkit — 1*2*3 Care — for caregivers of children. They define caregivers as parents, grandparents, child care providers, teachers, and others who care for children daily.

“They describe the toolkit as supporting caregivers on their journey towards “trauma sensitivity”.

“The toolkit can be downloaded as a whole, or individual topics can be downloaded separately. The toolkit also includes handouts for caregivers.

“The topics include:

  • The Brain — Stress and early brain development, understanding adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and accompanying parent handouts.
  • Resilience
  • Attachment
  • Cues
  • Emotions
  • Emotional Regulation
  • Behavior
  • Discipline
  • Repair
  • Self-Care
  • Military Families “

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+START A ‘SOCRATES CAFE’ – ! ?

++++

Saturday, June 4, 2016.  Here I would simply like to share with you a great IDEA about QUESTIONS and QUESTIONING, along with another idea about what to do regarding ideas and questions.  I am more excited about the opportunities Christopher Phillips presents in his book, Socrates Cafe: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy (2002) than I have been about anything in a long, long time!

This is NOT a “book about philosophy.”  It is a book about how to question in healthy ways one’s own thoughts and enjoy being in community with others who are doing the same thing.  This book presents the foundations of how to begin a Socrates Café grassroot group ANYWHERE with ANY group of people!

There is a clear step-by-step online article here:  Tips for starting and facilitating a Socrates Café!  But the book must be read in order to grasp the bigger picture of what “this” is all about – for you, and for others.

One of the certain characteristics of trauma ridden childhoods is that we were not exposed to ordinary, healthy conversations OR exposed to QUESTIONING as we needed to be.  This book clearly shows people like me HOW to LEARN to question – how to question with others – how to improve our life – with others AND with our self!

The book is inexpensive online.  It is NOT complex or hard to comprehend.  It is, I am finding, a FUN read.  Very stimulating, encouraging and inspiring.  It is hopeful.  It gives me something to try when I get back home this fall!

Here’s the link to the background website:  Philosopher.org

I have never studied anything about philosophy.  I am not a linear person.  Does that mean I am not a reasonable (reason-able) person?  Not a rationally minded person?

Nope. It’s the philosophy of life as people live it!  Take a look!  Have some fun!  Build some real community!  What a great idea!

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+FINE TUNING HEALING WORDS

++++

Saturday, June 4, 2016.  Someone recently gifted me with an almost 100-year-old small newsletter from which I copied the quote on healing presented below.  I wish to make a few trauma altered development, high ACE score comments about this piece here at the beginning first.

I read a little about the woman who gave the talk this quote was taken from and found nothing to suggest that her background was less than OK.  Unlike my early experiences and those of many of this blog’s reader, there were probably no high risk patterns that prevented her from going along through her life in at least a ‘good enough’ fashion.

I now know as I approach my 65th birthday, having spent more than half of my life now working on healing from my severe early traumas, that I was NEVER able to ‘be a child’ in any ordinary way (as described in my book noted at the end of this post).  This means for me I was NEVER truly healthy – never – from my first breath on this earth.  I was not allowed to be healthy.  The environment I grew up in was nearly the epitome of dis-ease.

It’s important in my life journey for me to realize, according to my beliefs, that God created me – my soul self that will live forever – at the moment of my conception.  It really struck me the other night in a rather strange sort of epiphany instant as I was drifting off to sleep – really for the first time so clearly – that my parents were NEVER my parents.

God is my parent.  He has ALWAYS been my parent.  He MADE me!

My earth parents hurt me.  Terribly.  It is now possible to feel just a little bit freer of the constrictions of thinking of myself as “my parents’ child.”  I need to recognize that “restore both body and soul” is, for me, a two part process.

While my body itself was healthy before I was born into trauma – that was the ONLY time that trauma did not influence my physiology.

However, my SOUL restoration is an entirely different thing.  I have long recognized in my healing journey that Mother could NOT touch ME – my soul.  She could not and she did not.

Making this distinction matters greatly to me, especially as I experience ever-more serious consequences of the stress/distress/trauma alterations to my body that the continual horrors of the first 18 years of my life created in my body systems.  I can take my “life awareness” including my healing journey to an entirely different level because of this clarify I have.

In this “old” quote I read some words that as a trauma altered person I put quotes around for myself in my own thinking:  “Instead of dwelling upon your injury or your ailment, talking about it….” is a different thing for people like me who had no voice and no caregivers to protect us when we needed to be saved.

We DO need to talk when helpful about our reality – so I take those words in quotes to illuminate my need to be watchful of what I am telling MYSELF in my thoughts.

And most particularly I need to continually remind myself that nothing is hopeless!  Life itself is a creative, miraculous, generative process.  There is no end to the healing potentials around us, no matter who we are or what our early experiences were – or what they did to harm us.

But I think we need to be vigilant in the world of words so as to not invisibly bash ourselves for not being able to accomplish what non-traumatized people around us seem to be able to.

I am not sure that I have EVER “pitied” myself, for example.  My suffering was and still is very, very real.  I do need tools to help me get over the larger of the road bumps that appear sometimes.  I found some of that help among the words in this quote below, enough so that I want to share this —

Healing quote

– published in Star of the West, August 1, 1916, Vol. VII, No. 8, p. 74

Segment of a talk given by Baha’i Mary Hanford Ford (1856-1937) while “on the Pacific Coast” on “The Bahai [sic] Movement and Spiritual Healing”

+

Deny injury and illness, and then lift yourself up to the Divine One, and thus bring yourself health and healing.  Instead of dwelling upon your injury or your ailment, talking about it and pitying yourself, call upon God for strength, health, wisdom, ideals, courage and a renewal of the soul and body.  The power of the spiritual belongs to the whole world, and not to a few.  It is easily acquired, and will often restore both body and soul.  One must become as a little child to receive the Kingdom of heaven into the heart.”

++++

Click here to read or to

Leave a Comment »

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame