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Archive for April, 2016

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Friday, April 29, 2016.  Well, it’s been nearly 24 hours since I wrote the post below.  I am not saying it’s a wise one to post live!  I’ve thought quite about the Devil’s Advocate stance much of what I put down is taking.  Do I agree with myself?

I doubt it.  Not 100%, that’s for sure!  The topic of ACEs is too new and too vast for me to comprehend!  Are any of my voiced concerns valid?  I have no idea.

What I long for is an ACEs Think Tank!

So the only real reason I am posting what I wrote last night is to preserve my own words for my own considerations at some later date.  Otherwise I will lose these thoughts.  Would losing them be preferable to posting them?  Very possibly so!

What all of this leads me to realize is that just as surviving early severe trauma is itself a paradox – in that we have survived the unsurvivable – so, too, does any serious effort to comprehend what healing AND stopping severe trauma entails is a face-on exercise in diving into such a paradox whether one can swim or not.

Are we talking about a paradox that might exist in that we are trying to consider healing WHAT CANNOT TRULY BE HEALED?  After all, altered physiological development in response to severe early trauma CANNOT all be undone – or redone – once early critical stages of body-brain development have passed.  This isn’t doleful thinking.  This is fact.

Many of us developed to endure and survive within, as Dr. Martin Teicher reports, a malevolent world and in many important ways we will NEVER truly be able to adapt to a more benign world.

Anyway – please feel free to express any response you might have to what I have written lower down in this post in a comment!  I have a LOT of questions and I claim no answers!

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Thursday, April 28, 2016.  I have a dear friend I first met in 1971 when I arrived in Fargo for the first time that comes faithfully to fetch me once a week (I remain unable to drive in this city) and spends three hours helping me with errands as we visit.  Today we were fortunately able to locate an essential oil that has been recommended to me for the increasing problems I am having with anxiety especially as it is devastating my digestive system.

This is, I see tonight as I read more about it, quite the healing agent!  I had never heard of Vetimer Essential Oil before.  I believe it is already helping my (traumatized) nervous system calm down.  If this helps me, I doubt I will be without it for the rest of my life.

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I have been thinking of my father’s mother lately as I struggle with ‘my stuff’.  I met her very few times in my childhood.  My mother hated her (no surprise there) and ‘made’ my father disown her and all the rest of his family.

After nearly 40 years of horrific marriage to Mother, my father divorced her and then so regretted that he had let his family go.  His father and only brother had died of alcoholism by that time and his sister was dying of it.  His mother and father were long dead – and it was all these years later that my dad finally grieved.

We have known always that there were “sensitives” on Mother’s side of the family; one of my brothers believes all the way back to Druids.  Yet I am remembering that after his divorce Dad came to visit me and among the things he told me was the fact that, as he put it, “My mother never left the house unless she HAD to shop for food.”

I have since thought (he told me this in 1985) that his mother was probably depressed.  This week it has struck me that, yes, she may well have been depressed but it is also very possible she suffered from anxiety and “tummy problems” herself.  This is AWFUL (IBS) to cope with – and to live with – if one ever wants to leave home!

This train of thinking has led me to understand that the super sensitive nature of my existence has very probably come from BOTH sides of my family tree!  Yes, I would no doubt have had this super sensitive nature even if I had been provided with a civilized adequate infancy and childhood.

Given the fact that my experience was HELL for the first 18 years of my life, leading to all kinds of trauma altered changes to my developing physiology, my super sensitive DNA has taken epigenetic detours into problemville.

Making this two-sides-of-the-family connection seems important to me.  One of my sisters has the only pictures of my paternal grandmother.  I am going to ask her to scan them for me.  SOON!

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Now, I want to mention again the book — The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences (Jan 25, 2016) by John Richard Trayser.

Because there is little ease about my life right now I cannot actually dive in and devour the text of this book.  However, I can chip away at it bit by bit.

I am not intending to TRASH the author or his book.  But I AM going to note my reactions which are entirely valid (and important) TO ME!

On page 6 of the book’s introduction, after a brief description of the CDC ACE study and its findings, the author moves on to “The Impact of ACEs” where he writes words that are NOT comforting to me as an informed severe early trauma survivor.  I cannot say I DISAGREE with what Trayser is saying.  But neither can I ignore that very familiar sort of twinge-within that always acts as a warning signal to alert me to the very strong possibility that there is a HUGE part of MY reality missing in this author’s perspective – and therefore it will be missing in connection to most other early severe abuse and neglect trauma survivors.

This is a very subtle kind of detection system within.  It began for me a decade ago when I was reading books written by Dr. Alan N. Schore and others who – at the end of very few chapters – now and then referred to ABUSED and TERRORIZED infants within the Disorganized-Disoriented Insecure category.  Almost ALWAYS the prognosis for these victims was inevitable lifelong pathology.  (I encourage serious students of trauma altered development to read the books that will appear when you click on Schore’s name here.  They have sure gone down in price, I note!)

I came up with a very simple image that described the discrepancies I encountered:  People could have all kinds of rotten childhoods, even some pretty scary infancies (I described them as at least being “on the table”) and at least they would be given considered page-space.  But when it came to those who, like me, had lived through HELL ITSELF from birth, we fall to the floor and NOBODY sees us there.  There was barely even a mention of a possibility that true INFANT ABUSE DOES EXIST in these scientific WRITING even among the most influential of developmental neurobiologists.

Then I at least discovered Dr. Martin Teicher’s work (this article is a must read – CLICK HERE), but I STILL did not feel that he understood the totally different kind of experience a truly harmed infant-child has or the full seriousness of the physiological changes that result.  (Dr. Bruce Perry at least does!)

I in no way ever diminish anyone’s suffering!!  What I do know is that there is another level of MORE harm than most people can ever imagine.  And it is to this possibility of realness that I KNOW for a fact and also KNOW is true for many who have visited this blog that my inner caution mechanism responds when I sense in somebody’s writing that they have no real idea what this other level of reality could possibly be like.

And, even given THIS concern, beginning with what I am going to present below, I am already wondering why this author and so many others start right off with MONETARY-related social concerns rather than concerns of the heart, as I would call them.

What of the SUFFERING and BROKEN HEARTS of the children Trayser is alluding to?  Doesn’t that COME FIRST above ALL OTHER CONSIDERATIONS – that these children are being HARMED AND HURT?  They are HURTING people!!  That matters a whole lot more to me than if they are “ready to learn” for HEAVEN’S SAKE!

I bet most authors would say in their own defense, “Of course I care about their personal pain and suffering!”  Well then, SAY THAT FROM YOUR HEART!

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As in:  So, you had Cherrios for breakfast!  OK.  Count that as a yes.  But did this you eat two little Os – a box of little Os – or 42 SEMIS full of little Os?  How many days, weeks, months, years did you eat (how many of) these little Os?

Degrees of harm DO matter and I am concerned they get left out of consideration within ACEs discussions as if they DO NOT matter because they cannot be easily measured statistically in ACEs research.

This is a very important and valid concern.  The more “press” ACEs get the more danger there is in inadvertently and ignorantly harming those who have already suffered the most and are most likely do so for the duration of their lifetime.  Innocently harming anyone for any reason does NOT invalidate responsibility – even when accountability is absent.

We cannot afford to depersonalize the EXPERIENCES of those with high ACE scores by ignoring the context and specificity of harm to individuals (which includes degrees of brutality, duration of threat, terror and torture, age of victim, etc.) if we wish to move forward to change the world for the better with related findings.

As this positive ACEs related work continues we cannot leave out anyone.  We must include in ALL of our thinking the worst of the worst possible scenarios we don’t WANT to imagine.  They are real.  They happen.  And COSTS MUST include all matters of HEART and not only what conveniently can be recognized by distanced minds.

Everyone matters.  EVERYONE!  Because we are all HUMAN BEINGS, not statistics to be measured, generalized about, categorized or summed up as being “ready to learn” – or as anything else.  We cannot be measured by dollar signs on any level – ever.

Now, let’s see if I stick to my own words by the time I finish including this small segment from Trayser’s book written (pages 6-7) under a subheading “Healthcare” — (The period-dot sequences in text are the author’s, not mine.)

Here is where I need to use the word REVOLUTION.  I believe the greatest possible impact for using the ACE Study to improve the lives of our entire world today lies in the Pediatric segment.  There have been some breakthroughs in this arena…but to my way of thinking…not quick enough.  And no, it’s not the ACE score of the children I am referencing, but the use of the ACE questionnaire with the parents…ALL parents!

The only way to change the direction of our society that continues to pass on dysfunction and simply throw more resources at future social services is to suck up our courage and find the understanding to give every incoming pediatric parent the ACE test.  Then and only then will we pierce the veil of shame and vulnerability that prevents us from facing the rising epidemic of lost and lonely children that are dropped off at our schools…not ready to learn because of their ACE issues.  I reference the Children’s Clinic of Portland, Oregon as the test case for the new wave of caring put into Healthcare.  Doctors Teri Pettersen and RJ Gillespie initially used ACE testing on parents and now all 37 doctors follow their regimen.  Their practice is not just about sore throats and fevers…they are there to support families!  They found that instead of feeling a sense of invasion of privacy with the parents, they found a sense of relief.  There are few parents who have a child with the sole intention of harming that child physically or emotionally.  But if that is the only childhood that you knew, who, how and where are you supposed to go for help in changing that behavior?  The caring manner that is used in this approach is the most important issue in parenting and healthcare in our country today.  I challenge every single pediatric practice to look into the success of the children’s Clinic of Portland.  There are lives in the balance today of our newborn children who are in need of proper guidance, love and support.  Once we find a way to let each child grow up comfortable in their own skin, we will find that the teachers of our country will have the opportunity to teach children who are ready to learn.

Secondarily, as the original ACE Study found, it is imperative to have a full view of the patient sitting in front of you.  Only seeing the physical person leaves a great deal of emotional data out of the picture.  I believe that every single phase of healthcare, from pediatrics to cancer to dietary counseling needs to utilize the holistic approach that the ACE Study allows.  It is no different than buying a new laptop computer, having it get a virus and expecting it to perform well.  I see in the near future that the ACEs REVOLUTION will become a standard in our world and healthcare can benefit from it in the most significant ways.  There is no denying the data is helping to treat the whole patient and not just the symptoms that get treated without knowing the whole picture of the patient’s life.

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OK – where do I stand with my own thoughts now?

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PLEASE take the time to read this article about the ACEs work being done at Portland’s Children’s Clinic, which includes the following:

Pediatricians screen parents for ACEs to improve health of babies

The most important question, of course, is: Has asking these questions…does having this conversation…make a difference in children’s health?

It’s too soon to have any quantifiable data, but all the pediatricians have been able to offer parents guidance and resources that the parents would not have received if the ACE questions had not been asked.”

I absolutely DO believe that the work being done at this clinic is CRITICALLY IMPORTANT!  I do not believe that this work is harming anyone.  Dare I add “Not yet?”

Good information is being offered to these parents.  How will the impact of these efforts be measured?  Is this more than a tiny drop in Dear Liza’s proverbial bucket when it comes to improving very many infants’ and children’s lives?

We have to start somewhere!

And we have to keep the dialogues completely open to include and consider every point of view.  We are redefining Quality of Life as the ACEs Study gives us new ways to look at who gets what kind of life based on the basics of ACE questions.

For the first time these kinds of discussions are going widely public.  It’s an important place we can start to widen the fields of change.

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Is it the same thing to say “We have to be realistic” as it is to say “We have to face reality” when it comes to making sense of ACEs?

Take this information, for example:

How do we heal trauma suffered by Native communities?

by GABOR MATE’

How does ANYONE who is not a community described in this article begin to comprehend THAT reality?  How does someone such as Trayser is with ZERO ACEs begin to comprehend such a reality?

I do wonder….

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I also want to draw attention to this short posting by Trayser:

The ACEs Revolution!

Which states:

My new book “The ACEs Revolution” was just published here in Nashville. It is up on CreateSpace and Amazon and is available as a Kindle as well.  Would love your opinion…

Given that there is so much about The ACE Study as science, I have focused more on the impact on ALL of our lives…even those who are ZEROs, and predominately on HOPE and what a Caring family looks like, feels like, talks about and does their children.

Without HOPE for the future…ACE scores are simply a scorecard of sadness.  My adopted 18 year old granddaughter has made this VERY PERSONAL for me.  She is a 7…but says she feels like a ZERO since my son adopted her and her brother 9 years ago.  Fact not Fate is a reality for her.

Hearing so much about resilience these days, as she and I talked about coming out of the shadows, we decided to create a website called NoACEs.CLUB. It is a very secure site where people can tell their story…and make the first step toward Resilience.  I guide students there when I speak and JohnTrayser.com gives them connections to the state of Tennessee ACE report and also a link to take the ACE test.

We posted a song I wrote for her to sing on NoACEs.CLUB…after my wife told me what they talked about at lunch one day. As a junior in High School she was trying to decide how badly she needed to be with the “cool kids” who were starting to drink and smoke.  The song is called Right is Right!  The words are something every middle school thru College student should hear.  Her voice will knock your heart for a loop…still makes me cry.  It is free.  She wants to start a club at the University of Illinois call NoACES.CLUB to reach out to those who have not found someone to care…YET. The site also has a link to take the ACE Test.  Any thoughts about that?  Would love to start NoACEs.CLUB at ALL schools so students wouldn’t feel so alone….

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(There are comments to read at this link, also.)

Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society.

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Wednesday, April 27, 2016.  I can look back and remember the YEARS when a thought would come to me for a post and then I simply sat down and wrote that post out without effort.  I hope that process returns to me once my move this fall is complete and I am home again at last.

In my life right now thoughts tumble, stumble, swarm and bifurcate into tangential ideas that seemingly have no end.  I see in my mind the image of a great old tree complete with probably millions of twigs reaching out in new growth every year.  How to pick out important twigs?  How to separate them exactly from the branches they are growing from?

Part of my writing problems stems from the fact that I have written so many posts over the years that I KNOW contain information connected to any thought I might have for a post today.  Here are a few past posts (links at the bottom of this post ) that fit this bill right now as connected to something I discovered today – which I connect to body-brain developmental changes caused by early severe neglect and abuse trauma –

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A friend sent me a link to this video today – ASTOUNDING!

Autistic Girl Expresses Unimaginable Intelligence

This incredible child’s name is Carly – and here is her blog:

Carly’s Voice

And here’s the site for her book:

Carly’s Voice:  Breaking Through Autism

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The video is, I believe, a MUST WATCH for anyone who has experienced severe early trauma who has come to understand that there is much in their trauma-altered experience of living that is connected to a Reactive Attachment Disorder pattern of insecure attachment.

What is the ability to communicate?   What is Carly finally able to say about the truth of HER experience on the autism spectrum?  What can we SAY about the truth of what happened to us?

I pause here to include links to posts on this blog related, also, to Disorganized-Disoriented Insecure Attachment – all connected to the great branches of what happened to so many of us:

+A COLLECTION OF THIS BLOG’S LINKS ON DISSOCIATION AND DISORGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT

+DISORGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT – 2 ARTICLE LINKS

*Attachment Simplified – Disorganized Insecure Attachment – Disorganized-Disoriented

+INFANT-CHILD ABUSE AND FRANTIC PANIC (dissociation, disorganized-disoriented insecure attachment)

+DISOGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT – AT THE CORE OF ‘BORDERLINE’

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Also:

+ADULT REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER: LIVING WITH IT

+WHAT EARLY ABUSE/NEGLECT SURVIVORS MOST NEED TO KNOW (AND ARE LEAST LIKELY TO BE TOLD)

+CLEAR ARTICLE ON LIFELONG INFANT-CHILD TRAUMA CONSEQUENCES

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When it comes to thinking about the spectrum that exists between people who are super sensitive on one end and those who are far less sensitive on the other – true also for autism — here are some posts talking about this continuum in connection to Trauma Altered development:

*Allostasis and Allostatic Load — April 12, 2009 This page contains my own working notes written while studying the research of the authors noted below.  Please go to my sectionhttps://stopthestorm.wordpress.com/references/ to locate the citation for their work.  Be patient, the reference page is a bit slow to load because it contains about 200 text pages of reference material.

+ARE YOU A ‘SENSITIVE?’

+FASCINATING NOTES ON LIVING WITH TRAUMA

+TRAUMA SURVIVORS: OUR TENSILE STRENGTH

*OVERWHELMING TRAUMA CHANGES

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I guess I believe that it is often the task of a writer to “think for” our readers.  The more there is to know about how the toxic stress caused by early infant and child trauma alters physiological development and causes problems for a lifetime, the more complex the array of combinations of relevant information becomes.  I really cannot think of any simple way to explain today how I know there are undoubtedly powerful connections between the experience of being on the autism spectrum and being “on the trauma altered development spectrum.”

So all I can manage to do right now is to encourage a watching of the video I mention above and a scan through one or more of the earlier posts on this blog whose I include here today.

I don’t believe there is anyone out there who will tell us the information we most need to know as trauma altered people.  This is true because they really CAN’T tell us.  Nobody can process this information for us, really.  We have to search for the truths to our own experience for ourselves.

These following blog posts represent only a small few of the many on this topic to be discovered on this blog.

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+SAFE? UNSAFE? HOW DO OUR STATES OF BEING RELATE TO ANCIENT JAWLESS FISH?

+PORGES’ IMPORTANT NEW BOOK TO HELP INFANT-CHILD ABUSE SURVIVORS

+MOVIE – TEMPLE GRANDIN: RELATES TO SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL BRAIN CHANGES FROM INFANT ABUSE

+JUST AGAIN RECOMMENDING THE MOVIE, ‘TEMPLE GRANDIN’

+THINKING ABOUT THINKING (PART FOUR): SEVERE INFANT ABUSE SURVIVORS’ UNIQUE WORLDVIEW

+WORDS DO NOT MEAN SOCIAL CONNECTION TO ME – THEY ARE OBJECT-TOOLS-WEAPONS

+THINKING ABOUT ANIMALS, PEOPLE, COMPASSION

+SOME MORE INFO ON MUSIC, VOICE AND THE BRAIN

+POWER OF SOUND FOR HEALING OUR NERVOUS SYSTEM-BRAIN

+A LONG, THOUGHTFUL LOOK AT VERBAL ABUSE AS MALIGNANT TEASING

+LEARNING STYLES AND LONELINESS

+GENDER AND THE BRAIN — DIFFERENCES AND EARLY TRAUMA

**Buck on Symbolic Communication and Emotions

++LIMBIC SYSTEM

+IS MENTAL ILLNESS THE COST OF OUR SPECIES’ GREATEST GIFTS?

**Dr. Allan Schore on Emotional Regulation – Notes

*Notes on emotion and meaning

++HIPPOCAMPUS

*Notes on Hippocampus

++AMYGDALA

++ DR. SCHORE ON SHAME

++User’s Guide – notes on Ratey’s writings

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society.

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016.  Here it is yet another heavily overcast gray day in Fargo, ND – again.  Forty two degrees.  Yes, the air is CLEAN!  I told myself before I left my high desert Arizona home nearly three years ago to be sure to pay attention to HOW CLEAN THE AIR IS here!  Yep!

I am listening to my cloudy very damp day restoration sound track on YouTube – 3 Hours of Nightingale Singing!  It is helping me to be surrounded by songs of a bird I will probably never see in person!

A friend of mine also (re)posted something today I thought maybe readers here might like to know about –

How to Release the Stress stored in our Bodies by Jacob Devaney

It includes

“The best doctor is already within you. There is no replacement for cultivating a practice that heals, replenishes, and relaxes you from the in-side, out. There are numerous yoga poses that can help you on your journey of releasing this stress, anxiety, and fear stored within your psoas. Yoga calls this “the muscle of the soul” so any focus here is sure to give great results to your overall well-being. Yoga International seems to have a comprehensive list of photos and descriptions of poses that can start you on your journey.”

I admit that I have never practiced yoga.  Will I begin today?  Not sure.  But reading this article helps me understand I DO have some untried options to help me   I do not quite know why even ATTEMPTING yoga feels so intimidating to me?

Probably because it’s an unknown.  It’s something I would rather begin in the company of other people – very SAFE and super friendly and encouraging other people!

Maybe if I had a printer and could print the yoga instructions so I had them next to me way down there on the FLOOR (of all places) I would at least TRY this pose for the betterment of my Psoas muscle.  Meanwhile – what I really want to do is listen to nightingales singing while I take a very cool and cloudy day nap!

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If you haven’t seem this – take a browse!  This is MY style of “working out” and I SO MISS THIS!”

LINDA’S ADOBE PEACE GARDEN

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society.”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders, borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse, depression, derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder, dissociation, dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

Read Full Post »

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Monday, April 18, 2016.  How strange, yet I guess I am not surprised.  Thoughts and feelings about my “art therapist self-hood” are reawakened by having heard yesterday from the “play therapist” contacting me for some training I offered to share with her (as I mentioned in my previous post).

There could not have been a profession I could have chosen and worked for my master’s degree in that could possibly have been any closer to my heart-of-hearts, to who I am in my essence.  In fact, it is even the one my grandmother – a career psychologist specializing in helping people choose their correct careers (my mother’s mother) – gave me the Strong-Campbell Interest Inventory text when I was 11 or 12 and from those results predicted that I would be most successful and happiest as – an art therapist!!

The career field did not exist when Grandmother gave me that test with her recommendations.  I had not read that report for over 20 years until I found it again while I was IN my art therapy graduate program (University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, 1989-1991).  Yes, this was more than a little eerie of a discovery to me at that time!

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So, what really happens to us over the loss of something like this that means so much to us?  My hopes did not really work out over the long haul for myself with art therapy as a profession – for many, many reasons, none of which I could really control.  (The Serenity Prayer comes to mind here.)

At this moment I am greatly wishing I had someone in my life to have an actual conversation with about these matters.  But I don’t.  So I am writing here….

Although I have retained my national Art Therapist registration, which is a credential that can only be obtained by pursuing such a master’s degree along with meeting all the supervision requirements, this certification is for the most part truly “useless” and “worthless” in American society today.  VERY few states have gone through a process to get approval for licensure specifically for art therapists, so ANYONE, literally, can claim to “do art therapy” or to “be an art therapist.”

There is NO protection for the profession.

To me this is no different from a situation where someone who has a pair of pliers handy can claim to be a dentist.

Is this a dangerous situation for the public?  I would say yes – with a but….

I am SO good at what I do I completely understand and accept the responsibility that goes along with the incredible POWER that art therapy, accomplished by a trained, skilled and gifted Art Therapist can have.

BUT!  Given that so few people actually HAVE these qualifications, I would say that the danger to the public is greatly lessened simply because without the qualifications the power is all but gone.  I am not sure there is any more risk than there would be with a teacher “doing art work” with kindergartners.

Sad to me, really, in so many, many ways.  No wonder this feels like a longing has been tapped, touched, reawakened!

BUT!  This is reality.  Just as my grandmother was decades ahead of her time even in her recognition of my aptitude for such a profession, and in her actually NAMING a profession that did not yet exist (and so barely even does now over 50 years later), the entire field of art therapy is so far ahead of the curve it is well over an invisible horizon and may not actually appear until hundreds of years from now.

I have known for many years that given the chance to do four “evaluative” art therapy sessions would provide such depth, breadth and truth of a client’s life that a regular therapist could spend a year working through the information I could provide them about their client.

I would NEVER have the patience to do the “working through” with a client that ongoing therapy actually requires, although I know there are some art therapists who CAN do that.

That’s not my niche.  Oh well………  Off I would go in that “missing conversation with nobody out there” that I am longing to have right now about these things!

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So why would I agree to “train” someone in any aspect of art therapy?  How do I do so fairly given these reservations that I obviously so strongly hold in my mind and heart?

Good question!

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I believe in spiritual guidance and I strongly suspect that there is nothing accidental in what is going to happen soon with this “play therapist” as we talk and work together.  I am completely aware that the Creator I am completely comfortable with calling God has plans in this world that I do not – and probably cannot possibly – understand.

It is not my place to question these kinds of situations when they show up.  It is my place to listen to my own heart and to act according to its guidance.

Of course I was quite sure that’s what I was doing 1989-1991 when I got this degree in the first place.  As I look back into my life as a child, to MY LIFE, my OWN (yes, completely-hidden-from-my-abusive-mother) life I see art therapy me all the way back to when I was two years old.  My training was for my soul.  Nobody can ever take that away from me.

Yet I do struggle not to take this part of who I am away from myself!  This is me!  All these abilities along with everything that honed them, belongs to me!  To do with as I choose.

No, I cannot make ART matter in this so-sick and getting sicker materialistic, nonorganic culture I live within.  I cannot change that drugging hurting people is so much more of a popular solution that actually helping them to heal is.  I can’t change these things.

But when I encounter a “play therapist” whose path has crossed my own, who expresses interest and desire to add “art therapy” skills into her bag of tricks….

I am not going to say no.  And, just possibly, some of this woman’s clients may benefit in very special ways from this woman’s administrations of healing as they will carry some part of what I can so capably teach her.

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Do all the words I just wrote take away or diminish this very special ache in my art therapist heart?

Nope.

Oh well.  Life goes on.  I do what I have always done.  My part.  In the best way that I can manage to do it.

I expect that there will be some joy for me in this teaching opportunity.  I LOVE this work!  “Play therapist” lady will get a mega dose of training if she is sincerely up for it.  I am hoping we will be able to record the audio of our sessions, or classes, or whatever these will be.

For my part, there is an art therapist part of me that lies dormant –  quietly – not asserting anything about what cannot be changed.  I don’t know how I used to think about the process of “letting go” but I am very clear what image (ah, images, the life of life) I have now when such times come to me.

My hand held nearly open, palm upward, with a flower bud in the center.  I slowly and without any stress in my fingers spread my fingertips apart as I imagine this flower bud slowly opening to the fullness of its beauty.

Often the image of the flower is of a lotus blossom, but sometimes it is of a waterlily.  Whatever gorgeous flower is there upon my palm, I do not crush it.  I let it open to its own life, as I try yet again to set whatever troubles me — free.

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society….”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

 

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Monday, April 18, 2016.  A “play therapist” I came into contact with over two years ago when I first arrived in Fargo has circled back around again with her new request that I work with her in some way around some basics of art therapy that she can use in her private practice.  (I am a nationally registered art therapist.)

She very briefly described her clientele in an email yesterday along with what she is aiming for –

I was thinking about doing more art therapy with my clients, teens and parents. Possibly start a group. I have divorced parents not able to co parent, teens getting into lots of trouble, depressed/anxious teens, and a severe eating disorder.

I like to be a “guinea pig” and understand the process from the client perspecitve as well. So maybe that can be an option?

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Now, in this healing-paradigm-shifting world, this is the gist of what I sent back to her this morning.  I see absolutely NO WAY that any reputable therapist cannot be informed about ACEs in today’s world!

(I just received her response to my email – this savvy therapist is already familiar with ACEs info but will check further through this info I am asking her to look at prior to Wednesday morning when we will meet.) –

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Good morning!

Let’s aim for Wed. morning.  We can go up to Red Raven Espresso Parlor (are you familiar with this place up on Main?) – That’s an excellent spot for ‘conversations’ that matter!!!  there is a side community room here where we can work/learn (and if you believe in prayer, please add some for your and my efforts together)

Red Raven Espresso Parlor

It takes AT LEAST a specialized masters in art therapy to even begin to ‘do this’ correctly – but we do not live in an ideal world and I am very willing to trust you as a healer that you are asking for this sincerely – and with the best intent!I would absolutely start by introducing you to a process – for your own self – I will bring along some basic supplies.

I DO really want you to do some ‘homework’ before we meet – this info is ESSENTIAL to your practice – if you have not encountered this yet – NOW IS THE ABSOLUTE TIME TO DO SO!!

More than ANY ‘technique’ you might use — THIS info is the healing power behind ANY hope of helping others that is needed in ‘this day and time’ – this is where the paradigm shift is happening

google search “cdc ace study” —

that’s the basic stuff – I wish you to have at least scanned this before we meet!

also check this site

ACEsConnection: Home

www.acesconnection.com/

As a long time teacher activist, “owner” of my own ACEs collection, and passionate believer in grass roots activism, I want our voices actively engaged within this …
AND

watch one or both of these videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura Porter – YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHH37ia6Wc8

Oct 9, 2014 – Uploaded by Northwest Venture Philanthropy

At an April 9 workshop at McKenna Events Center in New Braunfels, Texas, Laura Porter, co-founder of ACE …

Laura Porter Keynote: NEAR Science & New WA … – YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr-w_uBCbYY

Nov 17, 2014 – Uploaded by Foundation for Healthy Generations (Healthy Gen)

Laura Porter, Senior Director of the Learning Institute at Foundation for Healthy Generations explores .

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I HIGHLY suggest you order this book ASAP

http://www.amazon.com/ACEs-Revolution-Adverse-Childhood-Experiences/dp/1523710195/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1460952013&sr=1-1&keywords=the+aces+revolution

and this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Functional Family Workbook: 206 Things You Can Do To Raise Happy and Confident Children!
There is an increasing amount of info on this – but watch the very short trailer -OK – now THIS – and it’s quick and painless!!

http://kpjrfilms.co/paper-tigers/

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Meanwhile, Oh HOW I WISH I could sing like THIS!

Up to the mountain

Patty Griffin sings a mind blowing rendition of this amazing song that she wrote in honor of Martin Luther King. The words can be found here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pattygriffin/uptothemountainmlksong.html

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Another email was also sent recommending article by Dr. Martin Teicher, attachment book by Dr. Daniel Siegel, and anything online – there are many articles on attachment and right brain development – by Dr. Allan N. Schore.

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society….”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

 

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Sunday, April 17, 2016.  Things that I wanted to mention in a blog post are piling up, and I am afraid if I don’t take a few moments to note some of them here this evening I will lose some information that is important to me as this time of my life is a’passing by with me in it.

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AUTISM

Along with April being Child Abuse Prevention month it is also Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month.  I want to mention an excellent blog with information about children “on the ASD spectrum”  (Austism Spectrum Disorder).

I am mentioning here in this post for the first time the incredible journey it has been since my arrival in Fargo October 12, 2013 to help my daughter with her family.  It was quite an ordeal of a struggle to finally get the accurate ASD diagnosis for the older of my two grandsons when he was four.  He is finishing his first year in kindergarten now and with all the love, care and services he has and is receiving he is making incredible progress.

There has to be a very steep learning curve regarding ASD awareness for everyone involved in the care of very young children.  The younger they are when they receive their accurate diagnosis the sooner they receive services specific to their own “version” of growth, development and existence.

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LEAVING

It was extremely important – no, it was VITAL – that I move up here to Fargo because of the needs of my little grandsons  – but I have to leave here before next winter arrives (probably moving in September).  Leaving my grandsons will be excruciatingly difficult but I CANNOT remain here.  I am, quite literally it seems, completely allergic to the “excessive hardships” of this location.  (I have SO “been there done that” over the course of my childhood and adult life!)

I need the sunshine and warmth (Fargo has MAYBE had 15 sunny days in nearly 8 months), color of blue skies, red rock mountain views, rural living, small towns, laid back people, some privacy, flowers, nature, QUIET and peace – I need to return to the Arizona-Mexico high desert borderland if AT ALL POSSIBLE!

(I did at least get to now plant something in my 9 white 5-gallon plastic buckets set on the little cement slab outside my door this week with Romaine lettuce, Swiss Chard, snapdragons, pansies and poppies.)

Which leads me to my next batch of thoughts – about —

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PRAYER

About a month ago a picture of a whale breaking water appeared in my facebook news feed along with a note that fascinated me.  I went back to find it and could not.  I even posted a request to find the person who posted this everywhere I could think of to no avail.  Oh well!

What I remember of those words was a description of how animals speak a language – the 1st language; humans speak in the language of our words – the 2nd language; and then, this person mentioned – there is yet another 3rd language – the language of PRAYER!

I rely exclusively on the prayers HERE because I believe with many others that they are divinely inspired.  Yet I know among all the followers of all the world’s faiths there are inspired prayers from the heart that are also powerful!

If nothing else, the difficulties of my length of stay here at this point in my life have lead me to rely on prayer like never before – and this is a very good thing!  I pray a lot of the whole human race.  There is a LOT of suffering going on – and while I can try to do my own small part to be of service to humanity – I do believe that prayer is more important than anything else I can come up with to do.

We are in so many ways “an endangered species” – with a Creator Who loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine.  But we do insist, it seems to me, on being willfully disobedient kidz – and I do wonder how much longer we will be allowed to continue down our so hurtful and destructive path!  We CAN – and I believe NEED TO – ask for HELP so that it can be provided to us.

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BOOKS

I want to mention a book I just finished reading.  It is one my daughter (mother of my grandsons) is using as a required reading in the college course she is teaching right now (required as a component of her doctorate program).

I cannot emphasize enough how important a read I think this book is for many, many reasons!!  Once I resettle myself again this fall I am hoping to organize an informal book club reading and study of this profoundly important tale of two INCREDIBLE (centurion) women!

Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters’ First 100 Years

by Sarah L. Delany and A. Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (1993)

Sarah Louise “Sadie” Delany was an African-American educator and civil rights pioneer — Born: September 19, 1889, Campbell County, Virginia –Died: January 25, 1999, Mount Vernon, NY – lived 110 years!

Annie Elizabeth “Bessie” Delany was an African-American dentist and civil rights pioneer  – Born:  September 3, 1891, Raleigh, North Carolina – Died:  September 25, 1995, Mt. Vernon, NY — lived 104 years!

Warm, feisty, and intelligent, the Delany sisters speak their mind in a book that is at once a vital historical record and a moving portrait of two remarkable women who continued to love, laugh, and embrace life after over a hundred years of living side by side.

Their sharp memories show us the post-Reconstruction South and Booker T. Washington; Harlem’s Golden Age and Langston Hughes, W.E.B. Du Bois, and Paul Robeson. Bessie breaks barriers to become a dentist; Sadie quietly integrates the New York City system as a high school teacher. Their extraordinary story makes an important contribution to our nation’s heritage—and an indelible impression on our lives.”

There are two more titles I want to order and read –  I just haven’t gotten that far yet!!

On My Own at 107: Reflections on Life Without Bessie by Sarah Louise Delany and Amy Hill Hearth (Feb 1997)

The Delany Sisters’ Book of Everyday Wisdom Hardcover

by Sarah Louise Delany, Annie Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (Nov 1994)

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There are two more important books on order I am excited to read – written by A MAN WITH ZEZRO ACES!!  WOW – I cannot imagine!  He has important things to say about (I added this book’s info as a postscript to my last post) —

The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

John’s book does a superb job of giving hope on how to prevent ACEs and has remarkable results for EVERY FAMILY THAT READS THE SECOND PART OF THE BOOK OUT LOUD TOGETHER! Conversations will begin that are essential to heartfelt communication. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study details the significant impact of childhood trauma on the emotional and physical well being for the remainder of your life. John’s book does a great job of showing the IMPACT of ACEs in all phases of our lives…and WE ARE ALL IMPACTED…even if you have zero ACEs yourself. This book gives hope to those who have lived in the shadows of pain and vulnerability from trauma in their childhood. His adopted grand daughter was a 7 ACE score…and after 9 years of love from the family…feels like a ZERO! You can change your stars with LOVE.”

Trayser is boldly advocating NO MORE ACES – and this 2nd book of his is about healing the families all children are born into –

Functional Family Workbook:  206 Things You Can Do To Raise Happy and Confident Children!

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2010)

The Functional Family Workbook lists 206 ideas and activities that will let your children KNOW THAT YOU CARE! That is the most important part of raising children. They don’t need perfection, or lots of money and things…they are hungry to KNOW that you care. If truly USED with the children…discussions will begin that will cement that notion. Children don’t care WHAT you know…UNTIL they know how much you care!”

Trayser also has a third book that I am not ordering at this time:

A Greatful Dad: 9 Practices For Building and Restoring the Relationship You Envisioned with Your Kids

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

A Greatful Dad challenges parents who were not connected emotionally with their parents. There are ways to heal the family and they usually center around communication. More caring and love provide the path to the hearts of our children. This book provides real life tools that can establish a connection that makes all parties involved happier and more confident in their lives. A life with no regrets at the end is to be cherished. Without joy, purpose and caring…life can be lonely and painful. Their is HOPE in these pages!”

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NOW!

Although I understand why the term “dysfunctional” is still being used to describe human interactions, I will personally NEVER use it!  As one of my art therapy graduate school professors so often insisted, “HUMANS ARE NOT PENCIL SHARPENERS!”

Nope.  We are not machines.  We are not mechanized.  We might not LIKE certain things about human patterns, but we are organic, living beings each living our lives given “what we know to be true.”

People are all ignorant of something!  Many are also very immature and many are sick.  Teach people!  Help them to grow up!  Help heal people!

All the books I listed above are about these processes.  I hope to eventually hold book studies with all of these books in combination because as the Delany sisters describe their lives – they HAD the kind of family life of love and health that Trayser is no doubt describing.

I DID MOST CERTAINLY NOT grow up in a healthy loving family!!!  Nope!!  I suspect that most readers of this blog did not, either.  We can acquire a lot of great things to think about by reading books such as the ones listed here.

And, of course, the American history the Delany sisters lived through and talk about in their book is also a MUST READ – for ALL Americans!  Our society is BECOMING healthier but we still have a long way to go.  The more information we can add to our considerations and actions toward healing – the better!

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Tuesday, April 12, 2016.  I received an email today from the Paper Tigers movie information people that included a link to a “primer” short video that very succinctly explains what the Centers for Disease Control’s Adverse Childhood Study and its findings mean.  This is a good link to send to someone you might know – who NEEDS to know about this vital information.

Below the video link is the information about it that was included in the email.  Also please note that there are a few more short videos following this primer.  Unfortunately the free screening of the ACEs resiliency film mentioned in these video clips for those subscribed to http://www.acesconnection.com/  is not helpful – the notification of this screening appearing in the emails sent out today were too late for the April 10th screening.  It sounds like there will be more free online screenings coming up – I hope I receive an email next time – on time!!

ACEs Primer video

Masterfully crafted by editor Jen Bradwell for the PAPER TIGERS and RESILIENCE producers Jamie Redford and Karen Pritzker, the “ACEs Primer” is their gift to the community currently combatting the health risks Toxic Stress and Adverse Childhood Experience. “It’s an easily digestible ACEs educational tool,” says Jen Bradwell, “which quickly and clearly explains what can be done about a stark, science-based reality: children raised in chronically stressful homes are prone to physical and mental health problems later in life.”

““If not communicated correctly,” says Jamie Redford, “this mind-body connection is at risk of being dismissed as too “Hippie-Dippie.  But when the story is embedded in the solid science behind it, the message can have hugely positive implications for how we approach treating and preventing everything from heart disease to alcoholism to depression and more.”

“Says Producer Karen Pritzker, “We wanted to answer the common questions that people have: What are ACEs? What’s an ACE score? What does my ACE score mean? What does it NOT mean? What do I do with this information now? How can this be used as a tool to improve the wellbeing of individuals and communities?“

“We sincerely hope it will be a helpful tool to raise awareness and start valuable conversations. The “ACEs Primer” is available on the KPJR website at http://www.papertigersmovie.com and http://www.resiliencemovie.com as well as on the PAPER TIGERS Educational DVD that is currently available for purchase through TUGG at:   http://licenses.tugg.com/products/paper-tigers

The educational version of Paper Tigers is on sale for 25% off through the month of April, which is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

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I am thinking about buying this book

The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences– January 25, 2016 – by John Richard Trayser

Book blurb on Amazon.com:

John’s book does a superb job of giving hope on how to prevent ACEs and has remarkable results for EVERY FAMILY THAT READS THE SECOND PART OF THE BOOK OUT LOUD TOGETHER! Conversations will begin that are essential to heartfelt communication. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study details the significant impact of childhood trauma on the emotional and physical well being for the remainder of your life. John’s book does a great job of showing the IMPACT of ACEs in all phases of our lives…and WE ARE ALL IMPACTED…even if you have zero ACEs yourself. This book gives hope to those who have lived in the shadows of pain and vulnerability from trauma in their childhood. His adopted grand daughter was a 7 ACE score…and after 9 years of love from the family…feels like a ZERO! You can change your stars with LOVE.”

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Sunday, April 3, 2016 – Excellent blog article here:  Is Your Brain Really Hardwired for Goodness’s Sake? — April 3, 2016 by Mark Brady

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The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity – author: Norman Doidge  — (James H. Silberman Book) Updated Edition – great reader reviews by clicking on this title link —

About the Author

Norman Doidge, M.D., is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He is on the research faculty at Columbia University’s Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research in New York City and on the faculty of the University of Toronto’s department of psychiatry. His last book, The Brain that Changes Itself, was a New York Times bestseller with more than a million copies sold. He lives in Toronto.

Take a look at this, as well: The Enchanted Loom reviews Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain That Changes Itself

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To keep perspective – severe early trauma (high ACE score people especially from earliest months of life) are NOT able to develop in ordinary ways – huge topic, but to be kept in mind when reading ANYTHING that is by, for, about more ordinary physiologies from the beginning of life than ours is, as the following information begins to describe:

This article contains the most important information that survivors especially of INFANT-TODDLER maltreatment need to know:

The neurobiological consequences of early stress and childhood maltreatment.

Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 27 (2003) 33-44

Martin H. Teicher, Susan L. Andersen, Ann Polcari, Carl M. Anderson, Carryl P. Navalta, Dennis M. Kim

“In our hypothesis, postnatal neglect or other maltreatment serves to elicit a cascade of stress responses that organizes the brain to develop along a specific pathway selected to facilitate reproductive success and survival in a world of deprivation and strife.  This pathway, however, is costly as it is associated with an increased risk of developing serious medical and psychiatric disorders and is unnecessary and maladaptive in a more benign environment.  [page 39 – found by clicking on article title above]

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Saturday, April 2, 2016.  This is a post noting a link to some great coping-with-anxiety information for kids – including the kids in all adults – especially those with early histories of trauma!!

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This is online — 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child – written and posted by Renee Jain.  Thanks for this, Renee!

It happens to every child in one form or another – anxiety. As parents, we would like to shield our children from life’s anxious moments, but navigating anxiety is an essential life skill that will serve them in the years to come. During my years of studying positive psychology and working as a life coach, I’ve developed many tips for the parents of anxious kids. In the heat of the moment, try these simple phrases to help your children identify, accept, and work through their anxious moments.

  1. “Can you draw it?”

Drawing, painting or doodling about an anxiety provides kids with an outlet for their feelings when they can’t use their words.

  1. “I love you. You are safe.”

Being told you will be kept safe by the person you love the most is a powerful affirmation. Remember, anxiety makes your children feel as if their minds and bodies are in danger. Repeating they are safe can soothe the nervous system.

  1. “Let’s pretend we’re blowing up a giant balloon. We’ll take a deep breath and blow it up to the count of five.”

If you tell a child to take a deep breath in the middle of a panic attack, chances are you’ll hear, “I can’t!” Instead, make it a game. Pretend to blow up a balloon, making funny noises in the process. Taking three deep breaths and blowing them out will actually reverse the stress response in the body and may even get you a few giggles in the process.

  1. “I will say something and I want you to say it exactly as I do: ‘I can do this.’” Do this 10 times at different volumes.

Marathon runners use this trick all of the time to get past “the wall.”

  1. “Why do you think that is?”

This is especially helpful for older kids who can better articulate the “why” in what they are feeling.”

Read 44 more by clicking here!! — 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child – And take a look at other information on this great site!

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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