Friday, December 19, 2014. I am greatly involved as I care for my 28-month-old grandson during weekdays with teaching him how to talk. I don’t stop there. I am also concurrently teaching him about thinking and thoughts. Because language is a new acquisition for him, and because he is moving into the stage where he will be able to speak words related to virtually every thought he has, instructing him to notice thoughts and to name them as such seems important to me.
He really has no choice but to listen to me.
Yesterday, for instance, he began to talk about Mommy. I noted to him that he was at that moment thinking about her. I watched the expression on his face. I could see him thinking. Next he said to me, “Mommy in my head.” I explained to him that Mommy can’t fit inside his head but his THOUGHTS about his Mommy can!
It just makes sense to me at my stage of learning in life to teach this little person to be aware of his thinking process at the beginning of their existence for him. He may not literally remember what I am teaching him now, but I believe in some ways what he “gets” now about consciousness will rest as a foundation within him for the rest of his life.
I believe it is very important for all of us to know what we know. Being able to NOTICE what we are in the process of knowing is an exercise in awareness. Being able to know something about how our thoughts form in interaction with the life we are in the process of living includes gaining comprehension about how we are interacting with other people along with how we are affecting them — and how they are affecting us.
Oh, that life could remain as simply clear as it is for someone this young.
During the current phase of my own life I try to be consciously aware enough of my thoughts to immediately discard most of them.
Yet there are also times when words appear to me that hang around and don’t let go of me. Dare I explore such words? This morning the phrase “dark night of the soul” seems, against my wishes, to label my new day. What is my own “spiritual crisis” at this time of my life? I certainly cannot deny that I am having one. Not wishing to acknowledge or admit this fact just won’t help me move through it, learn anything from or about it, or (is it possible?) not repeat whatever steps I took to get “here” in the first place!
I am fairly certain that I will go with one of my daughters tomorrow night to see the new movie, Interstellar that my dear friend is so highly recommending to me. I am a little intimidated by how long it is – three hours!? Yet I am curious, also: Will this movie somehow trigger a positive turn-around for me so that I can jump into some sort of warp speed of my own that will let me alter this dark-soul-night trajectory I seem to be on?
Of course we are at the days of the Winter Solstice, and having moved back up to Fargo, North Dakota from the Mexico-Arizona border a year ago fall has put not only short days of light and very long nights, but also nearly continually gray skies and NO direct sun into my tiny apartment near the top of my list of “what is not good for Linda.” (Bed bug infestation is naturally at the very top of my list right now. They are very much still here infiltrating and contaminating my earthly existence.)
So I guess I could congratulate myself and applaud my choice of season to actually HAVE one of the “dark nights of the soul” in. My timing is evidently perfect.
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