Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for December, 2014

++++

December 31, 2014.  I continue on my hunt.  I will not stop at the moment to “translate” any of what I am including here, but I assure you for anyone with a truly traumatic infancy and childhood — including many who were not abused or neglected but suffered greatly from “birth trauma,” the following information is a must read.  All of us who have insecure attachment disorders have some form of emotional-social trauma altered development.  Oxytocin is a preventative biochemical working FOR healthy attachment and AGAINST hurtful actions in relationships.

++++

Early life stress modulates amygdala-prefrontal functional connectivity: Implications for oxytocin effects

Yan Fan, Ana Lucia Herrera-Melendez, Karin Pestke, Melanie Feeser, Sabine Aust, Christian Otte, Jens C. Pruessner, Heinz Böker, Malek Bajbouj, and Simone Grimm

Human Brain Mapping

Article first published online: 26 MAY 2014

Abstract

Recent evidence suggests that early life stress (ELS) changes stress reactivity via reduced resting state functional connectivity (rs-FC) between amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. Oxytocin (OXT) modulates amygdala connectivity and attenuates [reduces] responses to psychosocial stress, but its effect appears to be moderated by ELS. Here we first investigate the effect of ELS on amygdala-prefrontal rs-FC, and examine whether ELS-associated changes of rs-FC in this neural circuit predict its response to psychosocial stress. Secondly, we explore the joint effect of OXT and ELS on the amygdala-prefrontal circuit. Eighteen healthy young males participated in a resting-state fMRI study of OXT effects using a double-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled, within-subject crossover design. We measured the rs-FC to bilateral amygdalae and subsequently assessed changes of state anxiety and prefrontal responses to psychosocial stress. Multiple linear regressions showed that ELS, specifically emotional abuse, predicted reduced rs-FC between the right amygdala and pregenual anterior cingulate cortex (pgACC), which in turn predicted elevated state anxiety after psychosocial stress. In subjects with lower ELS scores, stronger pgACC-amygdala rs-FC predicted stronger pgACC deactivation during the psychosocial stress task, and this rest-task interaction was attenuated by OXT. In subjects with higher ELS scores however, the rest-task interaction was altered and OXT showed no significant effect. These findings highlight that ELS reduces pgACC-amygdala rs-FC and alters how rs-FC of this circuit predicts its stress responsiveness. Such changes in pgACC-amygdala functional dynamics may underlie the altered sensitivity to the effects of OXT after ELS. Hum Brain Mapp 35:5328–5339, 2014. © 2014 Wiley Periodicals, Inc.

++++

SCIENCE WATCH

The two faces of oxytocin

Why does the ‘tend and befriend’ hormone come into play at the best and worst of times?

By Tori DeAngelis, February 2008, Vol 39, No. 2, print version page 30

++++

PRIORITY COMMUNICATION-BRIEF REPORT:  Oxytocin Increases Gaze to the Eye Region of Human Faces

Adam J. Guastella, Philip B. Mitchell, and Mark R. Dadds

BIOL PSYCHIATRY 2008;63:3–5

doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2007.06.026 © 2008 Society of Biological Psychiatry

Background: In nonhuman mammals, oxytocin has a critical role in peer recognition and social approach behavior. In humans, oxytocin has been found to enhance trust and the ability to interpret the emotions of others. It has been suggested that oxytocin may enhance facial processing by increasing focus on the eye region of human faces. Methods: In a double-blind, randomized, placebo-controlled, between-subject design, we tracked the eye movements of 52 healthy male volunteers who were presented with 24 neutral human faces after intranasal administration of 24 IU oxytocin or placebo. Results: Participants given oxytocin showed an increased number of fixations and total gaze time toward the eye region compared with placebo participants. Conclusions: Oxytocin increases gaze specifically toward the eye region of human faces. This may be one mechanism by which oxytocin enhances emotion recognition, interpersonal communication, and social approach behavior in humans. Findings suggest a possible role for oxytocin in the treatment of disorders characterized by eye-gaze avoidance and facial processing deficits.

 

+++++++++++++++

Website:  OXYTOCIN CENTRAL

+++++++++++++++

oxytocin bonding

oxytocin bonding in relationships

oxytocin bonding mother and child

oxytocin bonding with baby

what secretes oxytocin

+++++++++++++++

I copied this information into this blog post “for educational purposes only.”

‘Love Hormone’ Oxytocin May Play Key Role in Kids’ Social Skills

http://consumer.healthday.com/cognitive-health-information-26/autism-news-51/oxytocin-levels-predict-strength-of-social-skills-in-children-study-finds-690445.html

While looking for possible link to autism, researchers found hormone affected all kids

MONDAY, Aug. 4, 2014 (HealthDay News) — The “love hormone” oxytocin has a tremendous effect on kids’ ability to function socially, Stanford University researchers report.

Children blessed with naturally high levels of oxytocin are more savvy at communicating with others and interpreting social signals or situations, said study author Karen Parker, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Stanford

“The higher your oxytocin [levels], the better your social functioning,” Parker said.

The findings also showed that oxytocin levels are highly inheritable.

Oxytocin is released during most activities that cause people to bond to one another — sex, hugging, kissing, holding hands, giving birth and breast-feeding, among them.

The researchers noted that the original intent of their study was to determine whether children with autism had lower levels of oxytocin than children without the disorder.

For years, impaired oxytocin function has been suspected as an underlying cause of autism, the researchers explained.

Autism is a developmental disorder that causes significant difficulties in social interaction. It affects one out of every 68 children in the United States, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

While oxytocin levels in the children with autism were similar to those of their unaffected siblings and children without autism in the study, the researchers did find that increasing oxytocin levels improved social functioning in all three groups.

Oxytocin has such a powerful effect on social skills that the hormone could prove a very useful treatment for some people with autism, said Rob Ring, chief science officer for the advocacy and research organization Autism Speaks.

“If oxytocin has a general pro-social effect on individuals, it still very much argues for engaging the oxytocin system for therapeutic reasons,” Ring said. “This research shows in people with autism that if you have increasing levels of oxytocin, you have increasing ability in social behavior. That is valuable knowledge.”

In their study, the Stanford researchers examined 79 children with autism, 52 of their unaffected siblings and 62 unrelated children without autism. All of the children were between the ages of 3 and 12.

The team checked levels of oxytocin in the children’s blood, and used a series of diagnostic tools to test for autism spectrum disorders and overall social ability.

All children with autism have social deficits, but in the study these deficits were worst in those with the lowest blood oxytocin levels and mildest in those with the highest oxytocin levels.

But the social skills of the kids without autism also corresponded to their oxytocin levels, the researchers found.

“Oxytocin appears to be a universal regulator of social functioning in humans,” Parker said. “That encompasses both typically developing children as well as those with the severe social deficits we see in children with autism.”

Comparisons between siblings with and without autism revealed that oxytocin levels in the blood are more than 85 percent heritable, the study authors noted.

Oxytocin levels are influenced by inheritance to about the same degree as adult height, which is often described as being strongly influenced by genetics, the researchers added.

“We found that social functioning was similar between related siblings, and oxytocin levels were way more similar between siblings,” Parker said.

The researchers did not completely rule out a possible link between oxytocin levels and autism. They noted that they only checked oxytocin in the blood, and that levels of the hormone may be different in the cerebrospinal fluid that bathes and protects the brain.

In the meantime, oxytocin therapy may prove helpful for children with autism and adults whose levels of the hormone are low, Parker and Ring said.

“It may be there’s a subpopulation of people with low oxytocin levels, and they may be the best responders to oxytocin treatment,” Parker said. “This may help us handpick the people we think are going to benefit most from this therapy.”

The findings are published online Aug. 4 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

More information

Visit the American Psychological Association for more on oxytocin.

SOURCES: Karen Parker, Ph.D., assistant professor, psychiatry, Stanford University School of Medicine, Palo Alto, Calif.; Rob Ring, Ph.D., chief science officer, Autism Speaks; Aug. 4, 2014, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences

Last Updated: Aug 4, 2014

Copyright © 2014 HealthDay. All rights reserved.

++++

Here is another article about these findings:

Blood-oxytocin levels in normal range in children with autism, study finds

Blood levels of oxytocin correlate with social performance regardless of whether children have autism, according to a new study.

Regulator of social functioning

“Oxytocin appears to be a universal regulator of social functioning in humans,” said Karen Parker, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and the lead author of the study. “That encompasses both typically developing children as well as those with the severe social deficits we see in children with autism.”

Autism is a developmental disorder that affects 1 of every 68 children in the United States. It is characterized by social and communication deficits, repetitive behaviors and sensory problems. The new study included 79 children with autism, 52 of their unaffected siblings and 62 unrelated children without autism. All of the children were between the ages of 3 and 12.

“It didn’t matter if you were a typically developing child, a sibling or an individual with autism: Your social ability was related to a certain extent to your oxytocin levels, which is very different from what people have speculated,” said Antonio Hardan, MD, professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences and the study’s senior author. Hardan is a child and adolescent psychiatrist who treats children with autism at the hospital.

Information about ongoing Stanford research in oxytocin therapy for children with autism is available athttp://med.stanford.edu/clinicaltrials/trials/NCT01624194. More information about related research can be found at https://web.stanford.edu/group/autism.

++++

Here is yet another take on this research:

Dysregulated Oxytocin Not Unique to Autism

++++

A comment about the research design:

“Major Shortcoming”

Angela Sirigu, PhD, of the Institute of Cognitive Science, Centre de Neuroscience Cognitive, Lyon, France, told Medscape Medical News these new findings are “interesting” and are in line with findings her team published in 2012 in Cerebral Cortex.

The study in 30 healthy adults showed a correlation between the level of plasma oxytocin and the level of sociability, measured with a score of extraversion. “That is, subjects with higher levels of plasma oxytocin were more sociable and enjoyed being with others compared to those having a low level of oxytocin and poor social skills,” Dr. Sirigu said.

However, she added that in her view, a “major problem” with the article in Proceedings is use of enzyme immunoassay to measure oxytocin levels. This method, “even with extraction, has been highly criticized because of low sensitivity to detect OXT. In other words, what they measured is OXT but also other multiple immunoreactive products present in addition to oxytocin. This is a major shortcoming we need to consider,” said Dr. Sirigu.

++++

This is the link to the abstract for the research.  The article is not available free online.

Plasma oxytocin concentrations and OXTR polymorphisms predict social impairments in children with and without autism spectrum disorder

  1. Karen J. Parker
  2. Joseph P. Garner
  3. Robin A. Libove,
  4. Shellie A. Hyde,
  5. Kirsten B. Hornbeak,
  6. Dean S. Carson,
  7. Chun-Ping Liao,
  8. Jennifer M. Phillips,
  9. Joachim F. Hallmayer, and
  10. Antonio Y. Hardan

++++

Oxytocin and socioemotional aging: Current knowledge and future trends

Natalie C. Ebner1, Gabriela M. Maura, Kai MacDonald, Lars Westberg and Håkan Fischer

Swedish – ORIGINAL RESEARCH ARTICLE Front. Hum. Neurosci., 28 August 2013 | doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00487

“…there is an increasing body of research suggesting a significant role of OT in the context of various disorders characterized by socioemotional dysfunction such as social-bonding deficits or related to social anxiety and stress (Zetzsche et al., 1996Heinrichs et al., 2003Taylor et al., 2006; see MacDonald and Feifel, 2012, for an overview), deficits with great relevance in an aging context. Thus, future research toward implementation of pharmacological neuropeptide treatments with the potential to decrease emotional and social stress, anxiety, and depression (Arletti and Bertolini, 1987Carter and Altemus, 1997) will be important. These interventions may consequently promote positive social interaction and willingness to engage in more frequently rewarding social risks (Heinrichs et al., 2003Kosfeld et al., 2005), improving health and life quality up until late in life.”

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

 ++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Wednesday, December 31, 2014.  Another calendar year is ending.  I find myself yet again immersed in an online research loop that is taking me around and around through advancements in neurobiological science that are ever more clearly elucidating more and more specific information about how our “attachment” circuitry and processes — which determine the development of our nervous system, brain and body’s reactions to self, others and all life around us from the beginning of our life at conception to our death — takes place through interactional processes designed to make sure we are “built” to adapt to the conditions of the “world” we are born into .

There are no shortcuts.  What HAPPENS is interpreted by our body in every way as THE TRUTH.  The body cannot be fooled.  There is no fooling the systems that combine their efforts to make sure we have the best chance possible to survive to a child-bearing age.

When “push comes to shove” the biology of life does not care one HOOT about the quality of a person’s life.  Not really.

It wasn’t that long ago that the scientific community held its baited breath awaiting the decoding of the human genome which was completed in 2003.

All About The Human Genome Project (HGP)

The Human Genome Project (HGP) was one of the great feats of exploration in history – an inward voyage of discovery rather than an outward exploration of the planet or the cosmos; an international research effort to sequence and map all of the genes – together known as the genome – of members of our species, Homo sapiens. Completed in April 2003, the HGP gave us the ability, for the first time, to read nature’s complete genetic blueprint for building a human being.

In this section, you will find access to a wealth of information on the history of the HGP, its progress, cast of characters and future.

If you do an online search for these terms — human genome project epigenetics — you will see that within the mystery of the genome there exists an entirely new set of critically important processes that influence what happens to us in ways that could not be foreseen even a decade ago.

What this means to me is that we are virtually SITTING DUCKS for suffering when conditions within our environment are less than optimal.  We WILL and DO pay a very high price for having the ability to adapt to conditions that are less than we need to have the best quality of life possible.

Not only that, but epigenetic factors and forces that are brought into play to keep ONE person alive are very likely to be directly passed down to offspring — easily so for generations yet to come — even when the same levels of trauma DO NOT exist in the environment of descendants.

We need to pay attention.  We need to overcome our ignorance by becoming informed.  We need to CARE.  We need to notice the truth of what is going on around and within us.  We need to REACT appropriately by using all of the truthful facts to our personal AND collective advantage.  We need to apply remedies and solutions — sooner rather than later!

But, in seemingly typical human ways we seem perfectly content to let our proverbial house fall apart and collapse over our heads as it crashes through the basement on a downward spiral that will take us — pretty literally — straight to hell if we don’t wake up, PAY ATTENTION and apply not only solutions from the past as they exist (for a little more time?) in instinct, folk wisdom and common sense AND as they exist in the plethora of individually distinct but not yet collectively accumulated knowledge from science.

Humans?  We are best designed to become safely, securely, happily and healthily attached to others of our species.  We are, however, also designed to compete for resources if we choose not to cooperate in their just and wise use.

Very simply put, all of our personal biology is designed to assess conditions of the world we are born into and then to look around in our “genetic interactional toolbox” to find whatever it is we need to survive in that world so that we can put it all to good use.  Good in this context can mean “have a really good cooperative life” versus “have a life designed to compete in every possible way for survival,” or “have a life of suffering for a very short or long time and then move on to the next one.”

Every single one of these options HAS to involve epigenetic processes because that is what life on this plane is about:  Adapt or die ASAP.

++

I am speaking in generalities right now because I am not giving myself permission to speak of the specific details related to my current research study which at present remains personal.  Right now “the story” about what I am working on behind the scenes over here is too big, too complicated, too close, too sad and not well enough understood to speak about clearly or objectively at this time.  This story does not belong to me.  It does belong to someone I love very, very much who I am trying to help move forward through life in the best way possible — given certain difficulties that I can’t help but see as being ones that could very possibly have been avoided — IF!

What is needed is up-to-date factual scientific information that I can backup with specific research studies that “prove” my points.  I need to create not only a “report” related to “this story” but also corresponding “talking points” that can be used to convince “professionals” of truth they don’t know but are not going to WANT to know they don’t know.

I am working to target as exactly as possible what problems (many perhaps preventable way back when) exist in this situation, how they (probably) came into being, what their source REALLY is, and what can be done to alleviate suffering and if possible HEAL what amounts to injuries that are currently hidden except for expression through difficult behaviors.

In other words, I am fighting on the side of LIFE!  I am fighting on the side of QUALITY OF LIFE.

I really do feel I am working at least a century ahead of the curve.  That would be IF society and civilization were to move forward in anything like a relatively sane way.  Humans are capable of unimaginable advancement and goodness!  We just have a ways to go yet to get closer to who we really are as a species.

There will be a time in the future when EVERY person matters equally, when quality of life for all is ensured in every possible way from the beginning to the end of life on this planet (this “first life”).  The right information, that is THE TRUTH, will be collectively put together so ALL pieces fit into the picture of the whole regarding every concern so that solutions can be applied that WORK while prevention of all possible problems is a top priority.

In the meantime……..

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Tuesday, December 30, 2014.  I have encountered an unusual research report in my current studies:

Acetaminophen Reduces Social Pain :  Behavioral and Neural Evidence

Nathan DeWall, Geoff MacDonald, Gregory D. Webster, Carrie L. Masten, Roy F. Baumeister, Caitlin Powell, David, Combs, David R. Schurtz, Tyler F. Stillman, Dianne M. Tice and Naomi I. Eisenberger

Psychological Science, 21(7) 931–937 © The Author(s) 2010

Reprints and permission:sagepub.com/journalsPermissions.nav DOI: 10.1177/0956797610374741

Abstract

Pain, whether caused by physical injury or social rejection, is an inevitable part of life. These two types of pain—physical and social—may rely on some of the same behavioral and neural mechanisms that register pain-related affect. To the extent that these pain processes overlap, acetaminophen, a physical pain suppressant that acts through central (rather than peripheral) neural mechanisms, may also reduce behavioral and neural responses to social rejection. In two experiments, participants took acetaminophen or placebo daily for 3 weeks. Doses of acetaminophen reduced reports of social pain on a daily basis (Experiment 1). We used functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure participants’ brain activity (Experiment 2), and found that acetaminophen reduced neural responses to social rejection in brain regions previously associated with distress caused by social pain and the affective component of physical pain (dorsal anterior cingulate cortex, anterior insula). Thus, acetaminophen reduces behavioral and neural responses associated with the pain of social rejection, demonstrating substantial overlap between social and physical pain.

These authors are NOT KIDDING!  TYLENOL helps ease the pain of social isolation, loss, grief….. The pain of attachment trauma?  This very interesting article is worth a read.  I couldn’t believe it!

So, I tried this solution tonight.  I wanted to attend a small gathering tonight with people I know, but nothing I do anymore that involves other people is easy or not stressful for me.  So I took my 1000 mg dosage of Acetaminophen  before I left and I made it through the whole gathering without escalating anxiety.  Very interesting.  I would NEVER have thought of this as being any kind of solution for my anxiety related to my insecure attachment disorder and other trauma related difficulties.

+

The authors state:

Social exclusion is a common part of life, which underscores the implications of our findings. People can feel ostracized at work, snubbed by friends, or excluded by close partners. For some, social exclusion is an inescapable and frequent experience (Williams, 2001). Our findings suggest that an over-the-counter painkiller normally used to relieve physical aches and pains can also at least temporarily mitigate social-pain-related distress.

Furthermore, many studies have shown that being rejected can trigger aggressive and antisocial behavior, which could lead to further complications in social life (DeWall, Twenge, Gitter, & Baumeister, 2009; Warburton, Williams, & Cairns, 2006). If acetaminophen reduces the distress of rejection, the behavioral consequences of rejection, such as antisocial behavior, may be reduced as well. Indeed, our fMRI results showed that acetaminophen diminished reactivity in the dACC and amygdala, brain regions that have been linked to aggression (Denson, Pedersen, Ronquillo, & Nandy, 2009; Eisenberger, Way, Taylor, Welch, & Lieberman, 2007). It would therefore be worthwhile to explore whether acetaminophen reduces the aggressive consequences of social rejection. Our findings do not warrant the widespread use of acetaminophen to cope with all personal problems. Future research is needed to verify the potential benefits of acetaminophen in reducing emotional and antisocial responses to social rejection.

The current investigation provides novel insight into the close relationship between social and physical pain, by exploring one surprising consequence of the hypothesis that physical and social pain rely on shared neurobiological substrates. We have shown for the first time that acetaminophen, an over-the-counter medication commonly used to reduce physical pain, also reduces the pain of social rejection, at both neural and behavioral levels.

+

I think there’s more to THIS story than has been written yet!

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Tuesday, December 30, 2014.  I am currently engaged in a rather lengthy personal research project that led me back again to my past study about how stress impacts the body.  My notes about research articles I found are at this link:

*Allostasis and Allostatic Load

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Saturday, December 27, 2014.  I would be willing to bet everything I own, which is nothing much – including very generously my apartment’s special collection of bed bugs both living and dead – along with everything I know, don’t know, could know, might come to know – that I am significantly correct in my developing instinctual theory that the human brain region collectively known as the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC) is not only the seat of change but is also the bull’s eye of Trauma Altered Development (TAD) in the first place, the lifelong consequence of those changes AND is of its healing.

I am not a professional person in any way.  I am not externally qualified to make statements of fact about anything “scientific.”  However, due to the seriousness and the consequences of the extreme, severe, bizarre, comprehensive and long-term abusive trauma I lived through and suffered so greatly from for the entire first 18 years of my life from BEFORE the first breath I ever took in this world I am perfectly suited to making guesses about “what all of THIS might mean.”

If the ACC is designed to spearhead (attachment-related) growth — its own and the developmental trajectory of the body-self it is a part of — in response to environment (safe and secure or its opposite) then why would that special plasticity cease to exist at ANY TIME during a lifetime?

++

I am loosely being propelled forward into a course of self-study involving this topic:

Ann N Y Acad Sci. 2001 May;935:107-17.

The anterior cingulate cortex. The evolution of an interface between emotion and cognition.

Allman JMHakeem AErwin JMNimchinsky EHof P.

Abstract

We propose that the anterior cingulate cortex is a specialization of neocortex rather than a more primitive stage of cortical evolution. Functions central to intelligent behavior, that is, emotional self-control, focused problem solving, error recognition, and adaptive response to changing conditions, are juxtaposed with the emotions in this structure. Evidence of an important role for the anterior cingulate cortex in these functions has accumulated through single-neuron recording, electrical stimulation, EEG, PET, fMRI, and lesion studies. The anterior cingulate cortex contains a class of spindle-shaped neurons that are found only in humans and the great apes, and thus are a recent evolutionary specialization probably related to these functions. The spindle cells appear to be widely connected with diverse parts of the brain and may have a role in the coordination that would be essential in developing the capacity to focus on difficult problems. Furthermore, they emerge postnatally and their survival may be enhanced or reduced by environmental conditions of enrichment or stress, thus potentially influencing adult competence or dysfunction in emotional self-control and problem-solving capacity.”

++

My dear friend located a full copy of the following article online free:

Anterior Cingulate Cortex:  Unique Role in Cognition and Emotion

by Francis L. Stevens, Ph.D., Robin A. Hurley, M.D., Katherine H. Taber, Ph.D.

The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) lies in a unique position in the brain, with connections to both the “emotional” limbic system and the “cognitive” prefrontal cortex. Thus, the ACC likely has an important role in integration of neuronal circuitry for affect regulation and can be identified as a distinctive region in understanding psychopathology. Affect-regulation, the ability to control and manage uncomfortable emotions, is a primary goal for mental health clinicians in treating psychopathology. Avoidance of painful emotions is often the motivating force in negative behaviors such as substance abuse, binge eating, and suicide. These actions are taken as part of maladaptive approaches to control, avoid, or regulate painful emotions. Clinicians often treat patients by helping them to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms in regulating their emotions. Understanding the processes by which ACC contributes to regulation of emotions may assist clinicians in their therapeutic work.”

++

There is undoubtedly a clear, undeniable connection between the ACC brain region, TAD and the profoundly disturbing findings from the Centers for Disease Control’s (CDC) Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) studies.  If I choose to do so I will need to search online in an intense study to find who “out there” has traded guesswork for fact along these lines of my thinking.

Using the online search terms — cdc ace anterior cingulate cortex – I can see instantaneously that there is a beginning place for me to begin my inquiry.  (This blog seems to appear at the top of the appearing link list….)  I could say DARN!  For the simple reason that I do not REALLY want to be among those on earth who know what I instinctively know.

Yet the good side of this in my thoughtful meanderings of speculation this morning is that if the ACC is the bull’s eye of trauma-related changes in this brain region, once this connection has been clearly shown it should also be true and demonstrable that this region is also a powerful target for changes that can be made in the opposite direction!

++++++++++++++++

Even at a cursory beginning glance — interesting research!  This is just one angle of entering the world of studies about development of the ACC and its very busy and fascinating engineering and operation!!

The social regulation of threat-related attentional disengagement in highly anxious individuals.

Maresh EL, Beckes L, Coan JA.

Front Hum Neurosci. 2013 Aug 30;7:515. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00515. eCollection 2013. PMID: 24009576  Free PMC Article Related citations

Effect of relationship experience on trust recovery following a breach.

Schilke O, Reimann M, Cook KS.

Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2013 Sep 17;110(38):15236-41. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1314857110. Epub 2013 Sep 3. PMID: 24003151  Free PMC Article Related citations

An information theory account of cognitive control.

Fan J.

Front Hum Neurosci. 2014 Sep 2;8:680. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2014.00680. eCollection 2014. PMID: 25228875  Free PMC Article Related citations

From imitation to meaning: circuit plasticity and the acquisition of a conventionalized semantics.

García RR, Zamorano F, Aboitiz F.

Front Hum Neurosci. 2014 Aug 8;8:605. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2014.00605. eCollection 2014. Review. PMID: 25152726  Free PMC Article Related citations

Common medial frontal mechanisms of adaptive control in humans and rodents.

Narayanan NS, Cavanagh JF, Frank MJ, Laubach M.

Nat Neurosci. 2013 Dec;16(12):1888-95. doi: 10.1038/nn.3549. Epub 2013 Oct 20. PMID: 24141310 Free PMC Article Related citations

The motor system contributes to comprehension of abstract language.

Guan CQ, Meng W, Yao R, Glenberg AM.

PLoS One. 2013 Sep 26;8(9):e75183. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0075183. eCollection 2013. PMID: 24086463  Free PMC Article Related citations

Asymmetric correlation between experienced parental attachment and event-related potentials evoked in response to parental faces.

Dai J, Zhai H, Zhou A, Gong Y, Luo L.

PLoS One. 2013 Jul 2;8(7):e68795. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0068795. Print 2013. PMID: 23844240 Free PMC Article Related citations

Parcellation of the cingulate cortex at rest and during tasks: a meta-analytic clustering and experimental study.

Torta DM, Costa T, Duca S, Fox PT, Cauda F.

Front Hum Neurosci. 2013 Jun 14;7:275. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00275. eCollection 2013. PMID: 23785324  Free PMC Article Related citations

The empathic brain and its dysfunction in psychiatric populations: implications for intervention across different clinical conditions.

Decety J, Moriguchi Y.

Biopsychosoc Med. 2007 Nov 16;1:22. PMID: 18021398  Free PMC Article Related citation

Social outcomes in childhood brain disorder: a heuristic integration of social neuroscience and developmental psychology.

Yeates KO, Bigler ED, Dennis M, Gerhardt CA, Rubin KH, Stancin T, Taylor HG, Vannatta K.

Psychol Bull. 2007 May;133(3):535-56. Review. PMID: 17469991  Free PMC Article Related citations

The experience of emotion.

Barrett LF, Mesquita B, Ochsner KN, Gross JJ.

Annu Rev Psychol. 2007;58:373-403. PMID: 17002554  Free PMC Article Related citations

Beyond affect: a role for genetic variation of the serotonin transporter in neural activation during a cognitive attention task.

Canli T, Omura K, Haas BW, Fallgatter A, Constable RT, Lesch KP.

Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2005 Aug 23;102(34):12224-9. Epub 2005 Aug 10. PMID: 16093315  Free PMC Article Related citations

Neurobiologic processes in drug reward and addiction.

Adinoff B.

Harv Rev Psychiatry. 2004 Nov-Dec;12(6):305-20. Review. PMID:15764467  Free PMC Article Related citations

The neural bases of cooperation and competition: an fMRI investigation.

Decety J, Jackson PL, Sommerville JA, Chaminade T, Meltzoff AN.

Neuroimage. 2004 Oct;23(2):744-51. PMID: 15488424 Free PMC Article Related citations

The human cortex responds to an interoceptive challenge.

Critchley HD.

Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2004 Apr 27;101(17):6333-4. Epub 2004 Apr 19.  PMID: 15096592  Free PMC Article Related citations

Trace but not delay fear conditioning requires attention and the anterior cingulate cortex.

Han CJ, O’Tuathaigh CM, van Trigt L, Quinn JJ, Fanselow MS, Mongeau R, Koch C, Anderson DJ.

Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2003 Oct 28;100(22):13087-92. Epub 2003 Oct 10.

PMID: 14555761 Free PMC Article Related citations

Development and neurophysiology of mentalizing.

Frith U, Frith CD.

Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2003 Mar 29;358(1431):459-73.

PMID: 12689373 Free PMC Article Related citations

Childhood maltreatment is associated with a sex-dependent functional reorganization of a brain inhibitory control network.

Elton A, Tripathi SP, Mletzko T, Young J, Cisler JM, James GA, Kilts CD.

Hum Brain Mapp. 2014 Apr;35(4):1654-67. doi: 10.1002/hbm.22280. Epub 2013 Apr 24.

PMID: 23616424 Related citations

Interaction of neuropeptide Y genotype and childhood emotional maltreatment on brain activity during emotional processing.

Opmeer EM, Kortekaas R, van Tol MJ, van der Wee NJ, Woudstra S, van Buchem MA, Penninx BW, Veltman DJ, Aleman A.

Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2014 May;9(5):601-9. doi: 10.1093/scan/nst025. Epub 2013 Mar 11. PMID: 23482625 Related citations

Overlapping and segregated resting-state functional connectivity in patients with major depressive disorder with and without childhood neglect.

Wang L, Dai Z, Peng H, Tan L, Ding Y, He Z, Zhang Y, Xia M, Li Z, Li W, Cai Y, Lu S, Liao M, Zhang L, Wu W, He Y, Li L.

Hum Brain Mapp. 2014 Apr;35(4):1154-66. doi: 10.1002/hbm.22241. Epub 2013 Feb 13. PMID: 23408420  Related citations

Resting-state functional connectivity in adults with childhood emotional maltreatment.

van der Werff SJ, Pannekoek JN, Veer IM, van Tol MJ, Aleman A, Veltman DJ, Zitman FG, Rombouts SA, Elzinga BM, van der Wee NJ.

Psychol Med. 2013 Sep;43(9):1825-36. doi: 10.1017/S0033291712002942. Epub 2012 Dec 20. PMID: 23254143  Related citations

Improving Executive Function and its Neurobiological Mechanisms through a Mindfulness-Based Intervention: Advances within the Field of Developmental Neuroscience.

Tang YY, Yang L, Leve LD, Harold GT.

Child Dev Perspect. 2012 Dec;6(4):361-366.

PMID: 25419230 Free PMC Article Related citations

Childhood and adult trauma both correlate with dorsal anterior cingulate activation to threat in combat veterans.

Herringa RJ, Phillips ML, Fournier JC, Kronhaus DM, Germain A.

Psychol Med. 2013 Jul;43(7):1533-42. doi: 10.1017/S0033291712002310. Epub 2012 Oct 18.

PMID: 23171514  Free PMC Article Related citations

[Review of the effects of mindfulness meditation on mental and physical health and its mechanisms of action].

Ngô TL.

Sante Ment Que. 2013 Autumn;38(2):19-34. Review. French.

PMID:24719001 Related citations

Is meditation associated with altered brain structure? A systematic review and meta-analysis of morphometric neuroimaging in meditation practitioners.

Fox KC, Nijeboer S, Dixon ML, Floman JL, Ellamil M, Rumak SP, Sedlmeier P, Christoff K.

Neurosci Biobehav Rev. 2014 Jun;43:48-73. doi: 10.1016/j.neubiorev.2014.03.016. Epub 2014 Apr 3.

PMID: 24705269 Related citations

Shifting brain asymmetry: the link between meditation and structural lateralization.

Kurth F, Mackenzie-Graham A, Toga AW, Luders E.

Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2014 Mar 17. [Epub ahead of print]

PMID: 24643652 Related citations

Disentangling the neural mechanisms involved in Hinduism- and Buddhism-related meditations.

Tomasino B, Chiesa A, Fabbro F.

Brain Cogn. 2014 Oct;90:32-40. doi: 10.1016/j.bandc.2014.03.013. Epub 2014 Jun 27.

PMID: 24975229 Related citations

Tai Chi Chuan optimizes the functional organization of the intrinsic human brain architecture in older adults.

Wei GX, Dong HM, Yang Z, Luo J, Zuo XN.

Front Aging Neurosci. 2014 Apr 17;6:74. doi: 10.3389/fnagi.2014.00074. eCollection 2014.

PMID: 24860494 Free PMC Article Related citations

Just a tiny beginning!!!!!!

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Monday, December 22, 2014.  I have been investigating the Anterior Cingulate Cortex online as it relates to empathy, attachment, emotional and social processing, the brain’s default resting mode, physical and emotional pain, anxiety, depression, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, autism, Disruptive Behavior Disorders (DBD), difficulties with behavioral inhibition and choice-making, hoarding, speech pathology, PTSD, schizophrenia, bi-polar, damage by abuse, “silent treatment” and bullying, etc. – you name it!  A fascinating and important search/study!

I found these two articles which are both available online free by clicking on title links:

The pain of social disconnection: examining the shared neural underpinnings of physical and social pain by Naomi I. Eisenberger

Abstract | Experiences of social rejection, exclusion or loss are generally considered to be some of the most ‘painful’ experiences that we endure. Indeed, many of us go to great lengths to avoid situations that may engender these experiences (such as public speaking). Why is it that these negative social experiences have such a profound effect on our emotional well-being? Emerging evidence suggests that experiences of social pain — the painful feelings associated with social disconnection — rely on some of the same neurobiological substrates that underlie experiences of physical pain. Understanding the ways in which physical and social pain overlap may provide new insights into the surprising relationship between these two types of experiences.

++

Do neural responses to rejection depend on attachment style? An fMRI study by  C. Nathan DeWall, Carrie L. Masten, Caitlin Powell, David Combs, David R. Schurtz, and Naomi I. Eisenberger

Social bonds fulfill the basic human need to belong. Being rejected thwarts this basic need, putting bonds with others at risk. Attachment theory suggests that people satisfy their need to belong through different means. Whereas anxious attachment is associated with craving acceptance and showing vigilance to cues that signal possible rejection, avoidant attachment is associated with discomfort with closeness and using avoidant strategies to regulate one’s relationships. Given these different styles by which people satisfy their need to belong (that can operate simultaneously within the same individual), responses to social rejection may differ according to these individual differences in attachment anxiety and avoidance. To test this hypothesis, we used neuroimaging techniques to examine how the degree to which people display each of the two attachment dimensions (anxiety and avoidance) uniquely correlated with their neural activity during a simulated experience of social exclusion. Anxious attachment related to heightened activity in the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC) and anterior insula, regions previously associated with rejection-related distress. In contrast, avoidant attachment related to less activity in these regions. Findings are discussed in terms of the strategies that individuals with varying attachment styles might use to promote maintenance of social bonds.

++

Reader’s can put “substance p” into this blog’s search box to find related posts here such as:

+SUBSTANCE P – IT’S OUR BODY’S BIOLOGICAL LINK TO FEELING EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL PAIN

+INFANT-CHILD ABUSE, SUBSTANCE P AND A LIFETIME OF SADNESS

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

 

Read Full Post »

++++

Friday, December 19, 2014.  I would like to mention and recommend an excellent blog on healing from trauma that my dear friend told me about today.  I subscribed and look forward to receiving notifications of postings.  Please take a look!

Trauma’s Labyrinth by Dr. Laura K. Kerr.

This was the blog article I read today on my first visit to Dr. Kerr’s pages:  WANT TO REDUCE MENTAL ILLNESS? ADDRESS TRAUMA. WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD? ADDRESS TRAUMA.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++

And….

This is one of my favorite facebook videos!  My idea of LOVE!

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Friday, December 19, 2014.  I am greatly involved as I care for my 28-month-old grandson during weekdays with teaching him how to talk.  I don’t stop there.  I am also concurrently teaching him about thinking and thoughts.  Because language is a new acquisition for him, and because he is moving into the stage where he will be able to speak words related to virtually every thought he has, instructing him to notice thoughts and to name them as such seems important to me.

He really has no choice but to listen to me.

Yesterday, for instance, he began to talk about Mommy.  I noted to him that he was at that moment thinking about her.  I watched the expression on his face.  I could see him thinking.  Next he said to me, “Mommy in my head.”  I explained to him that Mommy can’t fit inside his head but his THOUGHTS about his Mommy can!

It just makes sense to me at my stage of learning in life to teach this little person to be aware of his thinking process at the beginning of their existence for him.  He may not literally remember what I am teaching him now, but I believe in some ways what he “gets” now about consciousness will rest as a foundation within him for the rest of his life.

I believe it is very important for all of us to know what we know.  Being able to NOTICE what we are in the process of knowing is an exercise in awareness.  Being able to know something about how our thoughts form in interaction with the life we are in the process of living includes gaining comprehension about how we are interacting with other people along with how we are affecting them — and how they are affecting us.

Oh, that life could remain as simply clear as it is for someone this young.

++

During the current phase of my own life I try to be consciously aware enough of my thoughts to immediately discard most of them.

Yet there are also times when words appear to me that hang around and don’t let go of me.  Dare I explore such words?  This morning the phrase “dark night of the soul” seems, against my wishes, to label my new day.  What is my own “spiritual crisis” at this time of my life?  I certainly cannot deny that I am having one.  Not wishing to acknowledge or admit this fact just won’t help me move through it, learn anything from or about it, or (is it possible?) not repeat whatever steps I took to get “here” in the first place!

I am fairly certain that I will go with one of my daughters tomorrow night to see the new movie, Interstellar that my dear friend is so highly recommending to me.  I am a little intimidated by how long it is – three hours!?  Yet I am curious, also: Will this movie somehow trigger a positive turn-around for me so that I can jump into some sort of warp speed of my own that will let me alter this dark-soul-night trajectory I seem to be on?

Of course we are at the days of the Winter Solstice, and having moved back up to Fargo, North Dakota from the Mexico-Arizona border a year ago fall has put not only short days of light and very long nights, but also nearly continually gray skies and NO direct sun into my tiny apartment near the top of my list of “what is not good for Linda.”  (Bed bug infestation is naturally at the very top of my list right now.  They are very much still here infiltrating and contaminating my earthly existence.)

So I guess I could congratulate myself and applaud my choice of season to actually HAVE one of the “dark nights of the soul” in.  My timing is evidently perfect.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Thursday, December 18, 2014.  I swear, Little Miss Muffet has NOTHING on me!  I was peacefully sitting at my laptop reading an email from my Arizona piano teacher who just had heart surgery (one of the top 2 sweetest men I have ever met in my life) and along RAN a NASTY LARGE BED BUG aiming straight at me with all the power of natural intent.  I have SPRAYED the boards of that plant stand next to my computer several times!  I was not going to be able to follow this critter’s life span to see if EVENTUALLY it would die from spray on its legs.  SO SMASH!!!!!

I am SO not a happy camper!

It would cost one half of my monthly income to bring a professional exterminator in here.  I spoke with the woman at HUD this week who handles my rental assistance voucher, explained my situation and was told (A) HUD has nothing at all to do with these kinds of landlord-tenant concerns, and (B) that I MUST get free legal assistance BEFORE I EVER speak to the management of this apartment complex about this bug infestation.

Yes, I do continue to find dead bugs hanging around in here.  But my concern is, “How many bugs are in here among the UNDEAD?”

NOT a happy camper!

++

This mess is teaching me some things, though.  (1) People who HAVE had bed bugs in their own house show me both empathy (based on experiences of their own) AND compassion for this terrible mess.  (2) People who have NOT had bed bugs show me compassion AND their own terror of getting these bugs in their own home, but I do NOT detect empathy from these people.  (Yes, I am among the contaminated, contagious and very nearly completely quarantined!!)

I am not a “native” from a “country” filled with either compassionate or empathetic people.  I have been trying, consciously, for YEARS to understand what these two critically important conditions of humanity actually are.  It is hard for me to detect them.  It is hard for me to differentiate between them.

This whole situation makes me feel pretty darn desperate — in survival mode — and this is SO not good for me!  No, this isn’t life and/or death – exactly.  But my peace of mind, what little bit of it I have been able to create and salvage in this strange life of mine, is GONE!

So, back to my “logical” mind for a tiny bit of sanctuary as I seek to understand at least SOMETHING that might be useful to me.

(A)  One of my daughters and her husband picked up bed bugs in a motel 10 years ago while visiting Arizona and brought them home.  The bugs were confined to their bedroom.  A professional extermination ended the problem although my incredibly bug phobic daughter had to be “bed bug bait” in her bed for 3 weeks to lure the newly-hatched into poison zone.  (Her husband was evidently not found to be suitable for bed bug cuisine.)

My daughter has BOTH empathy (from personal experience) and great compassion.  She is also very concerned that her little son who I care for days will bring them home to her house.  I keep the little one’s coat and hat in my refrigerator from the instant he arrives until he leaves her.  They strip the little one as soon as they get him home again.  Of course she is among the fearful of another bout with bed bugs!

(B)  My friend who is coming to take “the baby” and me out to run around town on our weekly visit does not come in the house.  She has COMPASSION but I am not sure whether or not she has EMPATHY for me in this situation.

(C) The HUD lady was kind in her words (that is her job) but she told me she would not stay in own home for one SECOND if she knew those bugs were in there.  She told me she would “pay whatever it cost” to get rid of them.  Well……  She is not in poverty…….

++

What else do I know?  I will be back to finish this post after my outing visit with my friend.  All I know is that this is CREEPY and highly stressful/distressful to me.  I was sitting at my keyboard practicing the other night when there came a BED BUG on its RACE to get to me for its dinner — running as fast as it could on the edge of the stand my keyboard sits upon.  My relaxation ENDED that abruptly until bug was smashed and I sprayed yet more poison on that stand.

I have to be vigilant, HYPER vigilant at all times in here!  Yet my enemy is MOSTLY completely hidden and invisible.  Not unlike the abusive trauma and its continual threat from Mad Mother throughout my 18-year childhood!

But the protection of the young – the ability to not be constantly aware of threat and danger – is not with me now, although I HAVE to sleep!!  Darn it anyway!

Of course as a child there was NOTHING I could do to end my abuse.  Now there has to be something I can do to end this awful situation I have going on around me now.

++

All I can say now is — please see next post.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

++++

Monday, December 15, 2014.  I think I could have entitled this post “FINDING AN ATTACHMENT VILLAGE” but I think the dream I woke from and remembered some parts of early this morning holds some deeper reverberations for me personally.  In my younger adult years when my brain worked more clearly as it could determine specific categories for my thoughts and concerns I would be able — and, I suppose, willing — to look for these specifics among the small parts of my dream that I remember.

I rarely remember ANYTHING about my dreams any more, a loss that began for me just prior to my parimenopausal years.  I don’t know that my physiological transition out of my childbearing years was actually linked to the changes in my dreaming and remembering patterns, but it seems to be true for me.  All I have been able to really determine about my current (age 63) patterns is that I seem to always be very busy and very productively involved with things that matter in my dreams.  Sometimes I think that if I did remember most of what goes on “beyond the veil of waking” I would simply be SO TIRED that what I must do in THIS world would be interfered with.

So…  This dream….

I remember being alone and searching for something I can’t quite name.  I found my way through an old wooden door into the back of an equally worn vertically-set wood plank shed with a steel roof.  The out-of-doors was only slightly barred from entering the sanctuary of this shelter, which I realized upon entering was actually very, very extensive.

I only went in far enough to lay down upon the dry grass upon the earth.  I was feeling sad and not surprisingly to me, very tired.  A kind of weariness that comes from carrying an immense burden for a long, long time.  The kind of burden that constantly threatens a person to topple over onto one’s knees without the ability to rise again.

As I lay upon the warm earth in the quite quasi darkness I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of liquid pour out of every pore of my skin.  It felt warm like salty tears, warm like living blood leaving me.  My only concern was to keep the papers (my writings?) I held in each hand high enough in the air that they would not get wet during this process — whatever it was.

++

Eventually I was able to return to my feet.  I gazed around me at the collection of material things that I knew were very important to someone.  There was an automobile mostly covered with an old dust shrouded tarp.  Old wooden low shelves filled to their edges.  I was careful not to touch anything as I backed out through the door I had entered.

I remember this part of the dream clearly because as I came into the sunshine I woke up, rose to see what time it was (2:30 am) and then went back to sleep.

I think it has been rare for me during my lifetime to return to a dream once I have been awakened from it, but I did so with this one.  Next I remember The People.  Lots of people gathered at the front of this huge (mostly) enclosed place.  It was a village.  People radiated simple kindness.

One man among a group welcomed me, but he also posed a question.  “What are you doing here among us,” he asked me.  His gaze held my eyes as he paused.  I could see that he was searching for the kindest way to express his thoughts.  Finally he continued, “You are so…..PRETTY!”

++

I knew what was not spoken while I was dreaming.  I know it even more as I go about my day.

What obviously separated ME from all those gentle people was the fact that I was not a dark-skinned person.  I was, and am, white.

++

These people did not have a home in this world the way that I, as an American, would name it.  Yet these people had created for themselves and for one another a most glorious home that was physically created of nothing but cast off and worn out materials that they had found new use for.

These people showed no sorrow, showed no fear and certainly showed nothing but puzzlement at meeting me there.  How had I found my way to “their place” in the world?  I knew these people had suffered greatly in their lives from trauma, trials and from tribulations.   There was a kind of pride among these people of a very good sort.  Suffering had translated for them into the greatest honor.

These people shared a collective dignity and nobility among them that felt like a kind of envelope encasing everyone and everything I saw in the dream, myself included.  How can I describe this?  Like finding like and if the “like” had not been there in and with me I sense I would have never found my way to that place.

++

Certainly there are plenty of non-brown-skin people on this planet that have and do suffer greatly.  But I also know that by far the preponderance of terrible suffering (by actual count) happens among those who would not consider themselves to be among the white-skinned people.  (List of world’s wealthiest countries HERE)

As I write this next point in this post I know that I am working with conscious thought more than I am with information from the deeper reaches of who I am and what I know.  I simply suspect that because of the profound suffering I experienced during the first 18 years of my life I accumulated a kind of honor that will probably never leave me in this lifetime.  I recognize the great value of this honor, even as it let me find and be so warmly recognized by The People in my dream.  I find — though my rational mind wants to scream at me, “NO!  This is NOT true!” — that there HAS to be value in the suffering I experienced and still do experience that has allowed me to retain this kind of honor that I believe everyone is born with.

I also have a sense that it would primarily be true that people like those in my dream were would be the ones I would share most in common with AND feel most at home with.  We are resilient.  We are humble.  We are resourceful.  We share and love with greatest kindness.

I think there is something connecting my “bleeding, crying, letting the burden sink into the earth” part of my dream that enabled me to later return in the dream to the front area of this huge shelter where I was able to meet The People.

I think we can become clear about how our suffering is NOT who we are even though the pain of our experiences has given us powerful and very real gifts.  In part maybe I am reverberating from the topic of my post yesterday.  I do believe a soul is at risk of “leaving the body behind on this earth” when that soul has reached a point where the burden upon it has become more than it can bear.

I believe connecting with those who are members of  our “attachment village,” OUR people, is among the most powerful preventive factor that can keep us from reaching the overwhelmed state.

Yet for myself, in this dream, it was my lying on the earth that let so much of my burden first leave me.  This happened for me BEFORE I was able to connect with The People.  Yet I also know with both my rational and my “other” kinds of knowing that every single one of the people I met in my dream had also experienced great healing through very similar ways.

We CANNOT be separated from the earth as long as we live with our body in this lifetime.  The earth gives us every single thing we need in order to live — even one another.  But for me, because forced isolation and solitary confinement was such a HUGE part of the abuse I suffered, it was being able to experience such close connection with other human beings that gave me such a lovely — and necessary — sense of “sanctuary” as a human being in this dream.

I have long been bonded to the earth, but I greatly struggle with any sense of being bonded with and connected to human beings.  I think this dream was an important step in helping me understand that even though I might not have these feelings around most of the people I actually meet, that does not mean that I am not CAPABLE of forming these attachment connections.

In fact, in the world of my dreams, I have now been shown that those connections already exist.

I am NOT alone.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

++++

While there is no money for me in my mention of this herbal-vitamin supplement here, I am taking it daily now and find it extremely helpful.  That means a lot to me, so I thought perhaps other readers might wish to take a look:

Source Naturals Theanine Serene with Relora

  • Contains the amino acids L-theanine, to support relaxing brain wave activity
  • Contains taurine to ease tension, as well as the calming neurotransmitter GABA
  • Features magnesium to support muscle and nerve relaxation
  • Contains calming holy basil leaf extract and Relora®to gently soothe away the tension in your body
  • 2 tablets daily, or as recommended by your health care professional

++++

Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase –

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »