Monday, October 20, 2014. My dearest friend who I am now 1700 miles away from is suffering. He finally called me yesterday to tell me the reality of his condition. No trying to be upbeat and cheery. The truth is that at 77 following spine surgery he is bedridden and in great pain if he moves. He cannot walk. He cannot sit. And, as he has been emphatically told, he cannot sue his surgeon: “Did you read the three pages of fine print at the end of the papers you signed before surgery? You are an old man. Be patient.”
If good things come to those who wait — what lies in store for someone like this arrogant surgeon who promotes his abilities as a surgeon like he is selling used cars?
My friend is brilliant with a charismatic, powerful personality. He has worked extremely hard all of his life. What can he do — NOW? I was unable to sleep much last night, unable to escape the magnetism of the sadness of his dilemma.
Yet after finally dosing for two hours I woke at dawn resolved to challenge my friend in any possible way that I can. CHALLENGE him.
Humans are designed to arise to a challenge with all resources at our command. What resources does my suffering friend have right now? Well, other than the immense powers he has inside of his personhood he also has ME! It took me some time before I could “go off the air emotionally” enough that I could tell that my friend shared details of his situation now that he has spared me for months because in his own way he is asking me for help.
I am recommending some things that can improve his quality of life — and by doing so down-regulate the amount of stress/distress he is experiencing. Those states are not beneficial to his healing. I told him to ASK for help from members of his large family so that he can get Netflix going and a “t box” set up so he can at least bypass a gazillion inane commercials.
Asking for help is NOT my friend’s strong suit.
Well, stew about THAT my dear friend! Get those obstinate juices flowing as you look at the very real bad situation you are in. Are you willing to go outside what has, thus far, been your comfort levels? Aging forces most of us to grow “outside” the boxes we have allowed ourselves to be confined within for most of our lives. “There is a time and a season.”
It’s box-smashing time!
Next I recommended that he send another of his loving family members off to the Saturday Farmers’ Market there in search of a fantastic and gifted Reiki massage therapist and energy worker. She is from France, has a heavy accent, is a retired RN and does chair massage at market. I am certain she would come to his home to treat him.
Oh my, red lights will flash “DANGER AHEAD” for my “old fashioned” friend. I DARE YOU I am basically telling him! No fear should stop him now from pursuing what can actually HELP him heal.
If he WANTS to heal.
I haven’t challenged him with that question yet. “Do you want to live or die?”
(As I found out 7+ years ago when I fought advanced, aggressive breast cancer. Deciding NOT to die is not exactly the same thing as deciding TO LIVE.)
I will wait to see what fuses light and burn with what I wrote to him today. Boy, I can sure come up with more ideas, if nothing else just so he can turn them down! I know I want to give him hope — and some sense of power he can orchestrate through his choices. Grace happens through action. I will do my best to wake up his will and shake up his Warrior Within.
Just because he is in so much terrible pain he can barely move doesn’t mean he can’t move toward healing in new ways he’s never thought of before and certainly — until now — would never have considered trying.
Want to try some GREEN JUICE? Want to try reading BOOKS? There ARE library services and audio books. Turn off the TV sometimes and listen to MUSIC! Acupuncture?
My friend, a man of great pride and great accomplishment, needs to let people come visit and sit beside him. Hard to let people see him in this condition? OF COURSE, but there is no shame in being — human.
Get over it.
Get over ALL of it.
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