Monday, August 11, 2014. There are many comments and replies accumulating in response to my April 11, 2012 post,
The most recent comments made on August 6, 2014 frankly — break my heart. My first suggestion is that either copy of this book be immediately purchased and read —
Parenting From the Inside Out by Daniel J. Siegel MD and Mary Hartzell (Apr 22, 2004)
Parenting from the Inside Out 10th Anniversary edition: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children… by Daniel J. Siegel MD and Mary Hartzell (Dec 26, 2013)
Dr. Siegel gives an excellent presentation of what attachment is, how we form our attachment patterns, what creates secure and insecure attachments, and how we can recognize these patterns operating in our own and in others’ lives. Without this basic knowledge we cannot begin to think rationally about what patterns found in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) might mean.
If someone wants to understand more about the harm terrible mothering does to a person for their lifetime please search Google for the terms “stop the storm trauma altered development” and go to work studying what can be found at the links that appear. The few blog pages that appear with the search are just a small beginning of what this blog contains on the subject.
There is a search bar on this blog – You can also type in “attachment” and a universe of information will appear here.
There is no simple or magic solution to what is happening in the lives of the family members as mentioned in the August 6th comments I noted above. Because there is a child in the family it is imperative that the chaos and disorder in the family be addressed ASAP — not for the comfort of the adults in the home but for the necessary healing of this child. Nothing, in my (layperson) mind tops the needs of this child.
I understand the RAD sufferer’s reaction to the “forgive” subject (please read the comment). Again with “forgiveness” typed into this blog’s search bar a host of relevant posts will appear. The kind of trauma and abuse I suspect is the history of this sufferer is something I can understand from my own history.
As I have mentioned on this blog, my abusive mother — who was actually psychotically, severely mentally ill — would have deserved a minimum prison term for what she did to me of no less than 15,000 years in my estimation. We survivors of these kinds of hellacious infancies and childhoods are basically “in another kind of world.” We need to honor that fact, and we need to learn what that means.
It is imperative that anyone considering these topics read the article posted here –
We won’t understand all of the technical terms in it, but the essence of what this article says is crucially clear — especially by the final paragraph.
Learning the facts about Trauma Altered Development as it happens through unsafe, insecure and DANGEROUS traumatic early attachment relationships is essential to moving forward!! The light will go on for us as we study this kind of information. We need to learn about OUR world – and it is never too late to do this work. Please — do!
Here is our first book out in ebook format. Click here to view or purchase –
It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge. Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site are welcome.