Friday, April 25, 2014. Thirty-five years ago in a small old house that looked like a barn but wasn’t a mother walked across the small landing of the tight stairs heading down with her arms wrapped around a load of family laundry. As she turned the tight corner she saw her little girl, Sara, sitting on a square grass-green upholstered ottoman with its hinged lid shut upon the carefully stored family photograph albums that was tucked into the small nook under the landing. Sara’s elbows were perched on her knees, chin held tightly in her palms as her small fingers curled up around her cheeks. A frown too somber for one just turned three creased her brow and caused her mother to drop her load of clothes on the floor as she dropped with concern to her knees in front of her daughter.
“Oh, honey! What on earth is wrong? What are you thinking about all alone down here?”
With all the seriousness of a well-preserved centurion the miniature thinker directed her gaze into her mommy’s eyes as she asked a question her mother has never forgotten. “Mommy, is my body the boss of my mind or is my mind the boss of my body?”
“Oh, honey,” Mommy responded as she gathered her baby into her arms, smoothing her hair as she slid the little one down between her knees. “There is something else. It is very important. You have a soul and your soul is the boss of both your body and your mind. Your soul helps you to choose things neither your body or your mind know anything about. But you will have to learn to hear what your soul says to you. You will have pay attention to it.”
In her mind Mommy was asking, “How can one who is just gaining the use of language be asking such a momentous question?”
All these years later on a cloudy morning as the grass turns that brilliant shade of northern spring green Mommy sees for the first time, after hundreds of times of thinking about that question and talking with her daughter about it over the years, that the most important word contained within that little girl’s question has always been missed. BOSS!
Not manager, of course. Boss. How did the little girl know that word and grasp the concept held within it?
Boss. As in “dominant being.” As in “having power over.” As in “alpha.”
There is that concept as it has always been tucked, hidden, buried within that single word, boss: POWER.
Destiny is irresistible. The destiny at issue here is the destiny of the forward advancement of the evolution of the human species which requires, demands, that women come into their own power as equals to men.
We are living in the newest generations in the history of our species when women are now becoming free enough to become increasingly power-filled beings. What is happening around us as women move into careers of power in fields that have kept doors so tightly closed and locked to their feminine minds?
Where are our role models as women, where is the history before us that holds the wisdom we need as women, as mothers, as grandmothers of how to facilitate this vast and critical transformation of our species? Most importantly, what is happening to the offspring of so many women who seem so easily able to basically abandon their little ones at birth into the care of strangers?
What of the grandmothers who arise to sacrifice of themselves in their own lives to try to fill the gap of care for the children their children are bringing into the world?
And women in the fields marching forward in ways, places and directions that are so sweetly new to half our species — what do they know of there new power? How do they know how to wield it safely? How often is it appearing in the guise of narcissism, selfishness and even misdirected anger? What tender, nurturing, empathic, caring, compassion, dependency-based feelings are being banished out of their range of attention? Is this all tied to HOW they can so blithely shove their little ones into the hands of strangers and walk away 10 or more hours of every work day?
The BIG CHANGE is upon us. Women are increasingly making the choice to be the complete boss of their own lives come hell or/and high water. Believe me, they are armed with full intention and a focus of action that only destiny itself can forge.
Only advancing time will allow future generations to look back at what may well be a damaging kind of mayhem we are creating in the “safe and secure attachment” environments that create the physiological body-nervous system-brain-self of every tiny, dependent creature who cannot possibly be getting from their “out-in-the-world” mothers that they MUST have to develop into fully healthy human beings. A few rushed morning and evening hours and a chaotic busy weekend cannot give little ones and their mothers and fathers enough time to complete the kind of attachment circuitry our entire evolution has required that we have to become the best humans we can be.
How do we as these women’s mothers, as the grandmother’s of their children, hold our own as we attempt to counter-balance the faulty social thinking that has been so hastily created to shore up the choices our daughters are making regarding the care and lack thereof they are “justified” in giving and not giving their very young children?
Our daughters are aiming the big guns of their forward-moving rage at us.
They do not want to hear or consider a single thing we are trying our best to tactfully and gently tell them.
They are out there, full-sailed in ferocious winds of change running without rudders.
We cannot stop them. Certainly. It is not destiny that we DO stop them.
But neither can we allow them to run us over, to assert their newly-found power, their dominance, their societal-fed alpha force over us.
Wherever there is power there is the potential for its misuse. All forms of aggression, of abuse, of oppression will become increasingly available to women as they spread their powerful, beautiful wings to finally soar confidently and competently in the winds of change.
We, and our advancing daughters, are cutting the swathes into a new world that those in the future generations will look back across in wonder, in gratitude, and in cases where generations of little ones are being neglected IN SPITE of what their parents want to believe — in horror.
We women, we mothers and grandmothers of the receding generation are naturally destined to relinquish dominance to the looming up-and-coming generation who are following us into a new world. But we retain our honor, our integrity, our self and our presence as legitimate voices guiding those who are — not unlike cantankerous three-year-olds – chomping at the bits that we might try to rein them in with,
We do NOT let those powerful young women disrespect us. That, come what may, is OUR choice. The power of one generation does not have to come from belittling the one that created it. We ALL, as women, are learning how to BE in the world in a new, unfamiliar and different way.
The time has come for all of us to pay attention and to learn to let these transitions happen with minimal loss, minimal damage. Whatever we do we do AS WOMEN. We do as women what no man has ever done or can ever do BECAUSE we do what we do AS WOMEN. Is this a big DUH? I don’t think so. We bring life into the world. We are expanding the sphere of influence for how this bringing-life-into-the world operates.
This is a FEMALE process that men are of course a part of as supporters of our actions. The time is rapidly coming when we will no longer be a second sex. We will be an equal one. And with any transition, any transformation, the change itself can be most chaotic and troubled especially in the sphere of raising very young infants and children that so many women are parceling out as if their offspring are cars to store in an airport parking garage until it’s “handy” to retrieve them.
Where are the fathers and grandfathers in this transformation? Although not the topic of this post, this question is central.
Here is our first book out in ebook format. A very kind professional graphic artist is going to revise our cover pro bono (we are still waiting to hear that he has accomplished this job – I think we will have to find an alternative!). Click here to view or purchase –
It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge. Reviews for the book on the Amazon.com site