+WHAT’S IN A NAME?

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I find it hard to accept that my name will appear on these books.  Story Without Words, author without a name.  Seems right — ??  I cannot find no part of me that cares for recognition.  I just care that this whole job gets done – and that I do what needs to be done to the best of my ability.

Adding my name to this work feels like some kind of accident, really.  It was an accident I was born to the mother I was born to.  To the family I was born to.  To the role of the targeted all-bad child for horrible abuse that I was born to.  I didn’t want anything to do with it then (although I didn’t have those words to think with) and I don’t want anything to do with this saga now.

Oh, well.

I am in the soup, so-to-say….

So, I am working on the cover bit by bit as steps need to be completed in an order that doesn’t even to be mine.  It’s the order the image needs follow to be constructed.  I found a young boy at the farmers’ market in town a few weeks ago whose grandmother said it was perfectly fine for me to “hire” him to print the words for the cover.  So far, along the bottom of the cover, this will reside:

name

Our local dollar store now has a different shade of “gold” tissue paper coming in for restock than the one I first purchased.  Actually, I like the combination — all mod podged down with matte finish on primed cardboard….

name 001

Then dots….

name 002

There are pretty little spirals inside the little squares inside the dots.  Once this is all dry the whole thing will be glued to a background piece that is 32″ wide by 6″ tall that belongs belong the abuse scene of the cover.

I was very curious to see how the spirals would photograph!  I like them!!  There is something (art therapy-wise) about the patterns that have come into the image of circles contrasted to squares.  I keep thinking about “can’t put a round peg in a square hole.”  I haven’t bothered to think past that phrase — although I also have had thoughts about how I see my dissociation of horrific trauma memories as if those experiences are retained somewhere inside of me — in bubbles.  I call this a “bubble memory process of dissociation,” and it works for me!

Hard for me to imagine that this will end up being about 4″ wide for a kindle book cover –

name 4

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