I would write this as a poem
if I thought there was any poetry in this
What to say about The American Family on the go, always on the go?
Small children make sure this is so
Finally Mommy, with no choice, being exhausted from night after night without long sound sleep
Drops her two-month-old into the magic battery baby swing next to Grandma (that would be I – or is that me?)
Asleep on the living room couch on call for such an occasion at 5:46 in the morning
As the alarm rings off where Daddy sleeps on the couch downstairs. Out the door he races to work early
As Grandma changes the poopy diaper (a celebration of small sorts ensues as today would have brought day 3 without same)
While 2 1/2 year old calls for (barely back to sleep) Mommy to lift him from the crib (he wakes crabby, still with the nasty cough, a daycare-caught cold he shared with Grandma and Baby)
(Did you know? No longer is Vicks rub safe for children’s chests, nor can cough medicine be given to little ones under age 6? How did my children – or others – survive before so much helpful DON’T-DOs arrived on the parenting scene?)
Of course toddler wants to wear the fishbones pajama shirt for his day that nobody has yet washed the chocolate ice cream from yesterday out of yet
Speaking of which….
“No chocolate ice cream for breakfast.”
SAY WHAT???? Toddler? Unhappy.
And on goes the too-early-in-the-morning breakfast war
As Mommy nurses the baby
As Grandma stuffs the books to be donated and the two tomato cages and the strange black umbrella which will all share that fate
Into the back of the sturdy (bought used) red Subaru along with many awkward pounds of to-be-recycled cardboard and a heavy box of magazines – again, to share a fate
While Grandma then packs Mommy a lunch, adds the frozen block into the ‘twice to pump at work today’ nursing bag, cleans the PB&J from the hands of said toddler who at least ate the toppings and took a sip of milk
As Mommy dresses the toddler now, as Grandma counts the to-be-donated ‘don’t fit Mommy anymore’ quality clothing — must add all to the detailed list for tax deductions
Just in case
Just in case America elects a leader hell bent on destroying what is left of any small and possible remnant of America’s middle class – “NO NO NO! No more tax deductions for YOU!!”
As Grandma hurries to make Mommy a toasted English muffin with extra PB – wrapped hot in a paper towel, delivered out to the garage as the toddler is strapped into his super-duper car seat (Did you know you CANNOT MUST NOT reuse one of those carseats? Experts insist! The plastic is ROTTEN once it’s time to pass one down to the next in line or to somebody’s little one. Tell me, at what point does the ROTTEN begin?)
Of course Grandma doesn’t quite notice that the paper towel is saturated with warm melted butter dripping PB – until it’s finally handed to Mommy through the front car window 2 seconds before that Subaru was to be put into reverse at 8:44
So it can all drip onto Mommy’s professional outfit
So Mommy must rush into the house and (you get the picture)
As Grandma follows her inside pathetically whining, “This is why I am not a short order cook!”
And prepares for a day with the baby.
Well, Baby was sound asleep safe safe safe SAFE
So Grandma thought she/I could snitch the tiniest of SHOWERS – but of course as soon as the shampoo lathered my head the baby HOWLS!!
How did he KNOW???
And on life goes………
While the North Dakota wind jumps up from nowhere
or so it seems
to bless this day of possible sunshine
with such YOWLING
(While I wonder, “How will Mommy manage once Grandma retreats again far south?”)
This being published just a day after the dishwasher threw up its plastic parts which chose to land on the hot drying burner to melt themselves into uselessness – while nobody smelled this sabotage in progress?
And just now – after Grandma turned off the water to the downstair’s toilet – so she can return later to see if there’s hope for repair for the now-intent-on-permanently-leaking parts to the sacred inner porcelain pool of “DANG SHUT YOURSELF OFF ALREADY” hidden parts of same.
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