+NEW LIGHT – OLD DREAM

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Never do I remember having seen a scene in any movie where the viewers’ perspective included a flight over the top of a big city’s skyscrapers.  I notice such shots often in today’s movies and TV shows, but when I had this certain dream right before my 18th birthday in 1969 I had no history with the visual imagery that appeared to me in my sleep one night.

Now, every time I am confronted with an ‘over tall buildings’ camera shot I get chills.  I always remember the dream I had before I left home, before I moved away from Alaska in which I was flying over skyscrapers in the darkness.  The only light in the dream – a dim light – came from the inside of the buildings I flew over.  The skyscrapers had no rooftops.  Every one of them was filled to the top with human bones.

Over these ensuing 40+ years I have often thought about this dream as being a kind of portent of what I was going to find in the world outside the wilderness landscapes of Alaska.  Although I can admit that the dream was a grim one — I also admit that my take on this dream and on the purpose for its existence for me was that it showed me an undeniable truth.

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When I mentioned in my last post that I have recently been censoring my thoughts – and hence my blog writing – I have been avoiding/denying concepts like this one I am going to write about next.

Yesterday I had another dream of mine come to mind, one that I woke from over 20 years ago.  Yesterday I felt that certain CLICK inside of me – suddenly I felt more sure  than I ever have before that I at last understand this dream.

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I am not a mall kind of person.  I am not a shopper except for my need for the barest essentials to maintain my basic needs.  In this dream I found myself inside of a gargantuan mall eating dinner at an Italian restaurant.  I became bored during a very long wait for our food to arrive and left the table to walk around the mall.

After strolling past shop windows, elbowing my way through throngs of shoppers, I made a left turn and entered a wide hallway that was completely empty.  I continued to walk until I passed a long 20 foot tall picture window on my right that had smaller windows along its lower edge.  One of these windows, hinged at its top was pushed open.  I stopped in front of this window to stare in utter fascination at the universe on the other side of the glass.

A lush green forest with gurgling streams, small waterfalls, abundant flowers, animals and radiant people all very healthy, active, full of life and delight talked, danced, worked and played on the other side of this massive glass wall in front of me.  Behind them was a pitch black sky peppered with pure white sparkling stars.  A halo of deep rose light surrounded this brilliant darkness at its edges as a new dawn began to appear.

There I stood.  I could easily have climbed through the open window I stood in front of – but I did not.  For all these years any time this dream has wafted into my thoughts I have wondered why I stayed in that awful, sterile, stale, empty, shallow and meaningless mall world that has NEVER been my own.

Yesterday I knew that it is only as long as I am in this body in this material world at this point in time that marks an evolutionary point of development for the human species that very, very few recognize that I will remain in this mall world.

What a contrast in my dream between the soul-empty mall world I hated and yet did not choose to leave – and the thriving world of beauty on the other side of the wall of glass was connected to the universe of spirit that I found as a child in the Alaskan wilderness, and to a bigger world that I have never lost sight of in my soul.  It seems I live now (still) in a world of people who mostly exist (as Carl Jung described) in their psychological shadow-body-self in a shallow world of material pursuits.

People do not seem able to notice their focus on a material existence does not have to exclude them from full participation in a world of purity and beauty that few seem to recognize even exists.  This will change over time.  A new spiritual world on earth is dawning.  God has put me here – now – for a reason to fulfill a purpose.  I have even so far survived advanced, aggressive cancer – so that I am still here.

But the world that I long to share with others?  For the BIGGEST part – I will have to be patient and wait until it is my time to shed this body and step out of this mall world into another world so perfect it defies words to describe.  Meanwhile I will search for that beauty – as I have since I was a tiny child – here.

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4 thoughts on “+NEW LIGHT – OLD DREAM

  1. Wow! It definitely sounds like you are between worlds in both the dreams. In the first – between sky and earth and
    Life and death. As I read, it sounded a bit apocolyptic too. I’ve had cataclysmic dreams now and then over the last
    few years and also dreams of hope – in a purer life. I feel like I’ve travelled in my dreams and that the last few years
    They’ve had definite meaning.

    You definitely have a purpose and please share more about how and where you find beauty in the world..

    We’ve just finished our busy part of the year – the semester is over and I am so happy to breathe and feel like being
    Creative and satisfying that inner need for beauty and the special other side of life – so beautifully found in nature.
    Love!

    • The ebbs, currents, eddies and flows of life – for me it is most often about patience – there was little in my first life (those abusive 18 of childhood) that would have made me want to be in this world — except that I was attracted to beauty like a moth to the light.

      I am thinking about those who love nature, and who foster life in gardens – I imagine there are certainly people who are comfortable and sustained in a world of humans – letting myself accept that I am not one of those people is a challenge!

      I have always been extremely grateful for the dreams I have been gifted with over the course of these past 40+ years – though I seldom remember my dreams any more.

      There is a golden horse I converse with recently in my dreams. I would be tempted to call him a kind of mediator for me between these worlds I know about. He helps me with my patience here – lets me know there are reasons for things being as they are that I will know later – in a different world. He exudes hope, compassion and an important kind of reasonableness. He speaks of time – of timelessness and this world’s sense of the concreteness of time passing – He is very gentle and very gorgeous.

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      I am happy for your time of release/resting! It is always so good to hear from you! blessings! Linda – alchemynow

    • I will also say that my joy comes most clearly from the almost daily visits to me and the garden of my neighbor children – they are ages 3-10, the ones that visit. They, too, are by nature’s design of growing up really between worlds themselves!

    • Hi! Just want to mention – not sure why but I discovered some of your comments (on Lawson, etc.) here – I had never been notified via email or on the blog that they existed! I of course immediately approved them on a page I found them on – thinking I could reply to them – and they vanished and do not show up now on my homepage – very strange! I apologize, I didn’t see what dates you posted those – all excellent and most appreciated – but not sure of the tech mess somewhere behind this faux pas! Please forgive!!! xo

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