I am responding further to a comment left on the page + About this site:
“People who have experienced a lot of trauma have difficulty concentrating on abstract concepts. Thus understanding your excellent but technical information may be difficult or even impossible for them. If your readers are unable to comprehend, you can send them my way if you like. My job is to take the scientific data and put it into layman’s terms and simple graphics on radio and internet television.”
I added my response to this comment at the bottom of my last post, +HOPE FOR THE GENERATIONS. Somewhat unfortunately, I need to say something else on this topic.
In this last post mentioned here, I also wrote about how my grandson noticed dust motes swirling in a ray of sunlight, and mentioned also that at his same age of 22 months I also noticed the same beauty. I mentioned that my grandson and I lived in different universes.
I did not say different worlds. I said what I meant – different UNIVERSES.
I hate comparing that new little precious boy’s reality with what mine was, but in this case I will say a few more words about the universe I was living in when I was his age. Because my mother suffered a psychotic break while she struggled to birth me that left her believing I was the devil’s child who was not human, but who had been sent to kill her while I was being born – and that I was an entirely evil child – I never had a mother.
Her abuse of me began with my first breath, and by the time I was 22 months old I had already been forced to walk a road that no child on earth should EVER have to travel.
The day of my dust mote gazing – actually at the same time I noticed the motes – my mother was engaged in a terrible fight with her mother over me. It’s a long story – but in the end within an hour of the dust motes my mother was home swinging me around in the air as she beat my little body as hard as she could until she finally let go of me so that I fell in a crumpled heap on the living room floor. At this point she screamed at me how much she hated me, and how she couldn’t stand the sight of me.
I was ordered to go to my room, only when I tried to stand and walk I found the entire world swirling around me as I staggered from side to side – because get up and walk I did. I had no other choice. (My father witnessed this attack and did nothing.)
Now in my world terrible ‘relationship’ trauma had already long ago altered the way my body-brain was forced to develop so that I could survive the malevolent, traumatic universe I happened to have been born into – and not rescued out of for the 18 long years I endured it.
My point here is that I am NOT an ordinary person in an ordinary body. Nobody who survived horrendous trauma especially during their first 33 months of life from conception to age two, is an ordinary person in an ordinary body.
As much as we might wish that we are, we are not, nor shall we ever be in this lifetime.
So I say be very wary, be very aware, of any information ANYONE gives you that suggests that our body can be changed BACK into an ordinary one.
This blog is packed with – yes – complicated scientific information about how trauma during critical stages of our early development changed our physiology.
Yes, this information can be very hard to understand. A quick scan through REFERENCES (main file) will lead to titles of many books and articles of information related to these kinds of developmental – trauma induced – changes survivors of severe early abuse had to go through to stay alive in a most hostile world.
But I say that any such survivor who finds their way to this blog is completely capable of reading and understanding ALL the information presented here. If you found it, you can read it, you can comprehend it, you can learn from it – and you can begin to heal in new ways because of the empowerment you will receive by finding out the FACTS about how what happened to YOU – changed the body you live in for the rest of your life.
If someone does not want to go through the WORK of studying this information, that is one thing. This does not mean such a person could not understand it if they try as if their life depended on it. Because in many important ways a NEW life DOES depend on knowing the facts about Trauma Altered Development.
When I first read the comment mentioned above I sighed in relief that maybe FINALLY someone had appeared on the Stop the Storm horizon that could chew up the hard information and then regurgitate it into the gaping mouths of the little birds needing to know.
Alas, fairy tale BUSTED. No such thing. We are not baby birds in need of regurgitated facts to feed and nourish and sustain us. We can chew up those words, sentence by sentence, making ample use of Google searches for words and terms we are unfamiliar with – and we can think for our own self!!!
And, perhaps most importantly to me, it is critical that we understand that the kinds of trauma changes that happened to us due to abuse and neglect during our critical stages of development ARE PERMANENT for the MOST part! To suggest that we made it through our horrific traumas without CHANGING in our development is to deny the nearly unimaginable impact that infant-child abuse has to harm survivors. No real harm? No need to eliminate infant-child abuse! A lie is a lie – no matter how reputable the source might seem to be.