+FORCE FEEDING INFANTS IS CHILD ABUSE

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This post is in response to a blog reader who knows she was force fed as an infant.  I am not a professional in any sense regarding this topic so I found some related links on the topic and encourage readers to place comments to this post for discussion.

Some inexperienced new mothers might force feed their infant.  Force feeding is child abuse.  If any outsider detects this practice being done to a baby intervene in any way possible to stop it, including reporting the abuse to authorities if needed.

I cannot speak to the long-term consequences of what this trauma does to an infant abuse survivor.  In cases where the force feeding accompanies mentally ill/overall abusive parenting all the same consequences of Trauma Altered Development reported on this blog are likely to occur.

Any child abuse survivor that knows  that abuse-maltreatment-trauma happened to them can bet their booties it DID begin in their infancy if they have reason to believe they were chronically force fed at ANY stage of their infant-child development.

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FROM WICKIPEDIA — Force-feeding

Dr. Gott: Parents’ force-feeding is considered child abuse

Force feeding and eating disorders

Do you sometimes force your baby/child to eat…? – Yahoo! Answers

News for force feeding babies – child abuse

Feeding the 9 – 12 Month Old – “Pressure tactics make feeding harder, not easier. Don’t force-feed food, as this could create long-term unhealthy attitudes about eating.”

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Nursery boss ‘violently shook babies and forced them to eat vomit’

By Emily Andrews – England, March 2010 – This is a news article about horrendous infant abuse in a nursery school that included force feeing.  Other staff members in this facility knew the abuse was occurring for three years before someone finally reported it.

Another BBC article on this:  Woman ‘force-fed babies vomit’ at Bromley nursery

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Feeding the Baby – “During his 0 to 4 months, your baby will require only milk. They may feel full easily but will require at least eight feedings a day. Because your baby cannot tell you when he is full or not, be sensitive when he starts facing away from the milk, this is your signal that he has had enough.”

As much as possible, make each mealtime enjoyable for your baby. Do not force him when he turns his head away from his food. This is his way of saying, I had enough or I do not want that. If you force feeding your baby, he may not enjoy mealtime, whining may happen. This may end up causing not enough nutrients in his body. You, of course, do not want this to happen.”

Feeding the Fussy Child – “Your baby develops dietary preferences, as she becomes aware that she is not just an extension of you. Deciding what she would like to eat is one way in which she asserts her independence.

Trust your baby’s instincts

“Dr. Davis conducted an experiment using three 8 to 10 month old babies who had been fed only on breast milk. At each meal six to eight dishes of wholesome unrefined foods were placed before them and they were allowed to point to what they would like to eat.

Dr. Davis discovered that left to their own devices, these babies had a healthy development. Over time, they chose what was generally accepted as a well-balanced diet. Their appetites varied from meal to meal and day to day. This study seems to indicate that babies somehow have a natural inbuilt ability to eat in a manner that does not harm their development. We must remember that we managed our diets successfully for centuries before we were told the do’s and don’ts of nutrition. 

Parents should trust their babies’ instincts and give them some leeway when it comes to eating. Anxious parents worry that poor eating can lead to nutritional deficiency and development problems. Children seem to have an inner mechanism that somehow works to ensure that they have a balanced diet. Children rarely develop vitamin deficiency or malnutrition because they are poor eaters.

Force feeding is not the answer

“When your child has a feeding problem, meal times become a battlefield as anxious and frustrated parents try to persuade their child to eat. A feeding problem is often the result of parents coercing their children to eat. In most cases this backfires. Forcing your child to eat will only worsen the situation because it reinforces the child’s dislike for food.

Mealtimes should be pleasant affairs. Avoid making the child’s diet a bone of contention at every meal. This will make the child dread meals even more. Make every effort to make your child look forward to mealtimes. Give her the wholesome food she likes best for 2 to 3 months and omit all the foods that she dislikes. This will help to make her less suspicious and tense about food.”

Feeding Problems in Infants: Force Feeding

Force-feeding is the end-result of several different processes. It is important because of the direct dangers it holds for the baby and because of what it tells us of the mother-child relationship. Its primary cause is the sense in the feeder that the baby is not feeding properly.  [ME:  OR it is a consequence of a mentally ill and/or abusive parent’s treatment of their child!!]

This perception may be mistaken and reflect the unrealistic expectations of a young, inexperienced mother. Alternatively, if a good attachment has not formed between mother and baby, tolerance of the infant may be low and any slight ‘misdemeanour’ by the baby provokes irritation. The tolerance level may also be reduced if the mother is depressed or unhappy. Sometimes the source of the trouble is not the mother but the fact that many people are feeding the baby, who is sensitive to an atmosphere of inconsistency or disorder.”

BLOG POSTAnyone out there feel like they’re force feeding their baby???

WEST AFRICA: Babies force-fed to free time for fields

Failure to Thrive – Should I force feed?

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30 thoughts on “+FORCE FEEDING INFANTS IS CHILD ABUSE

  1. Hi everybody,
    my one year daughter is perfectly healthy. In fact two doctors told us that she has achieved all the milestones one year should achieve. But my wife is not convinced and she constantly tries to feed the baby. This makes the baby sob all the times and it makes me really sick. I can also relate some of the things written in this blog about my wife’s mental state. She actually left job for the baby and I could not persuade her to join after the maternity leave. It is understandable considering the fact that we struggled a lot to get our baby. However now I feel that she is not happy with her life and her frustration is manifested upon her baby. Moreover both our parents constantly encourage her to force feed the baby. I feel some kind of counselling is required but don’t know how. Taking a doctor’s advice will not help because she was already told by doctors not to force her to eat. If I force myself she would not take care of the baby.
    Any help will be appreciated.

    • Hello Ray and thank you for your comment! I would encourage you to seek competent counseling for YOURSELF ASAP!! Look within your area specifically for a professional trained in “attachment theory.” You as the father of this child have the responsibility to make sure your baby is cared for correctly and all of my inner sirens go off in reading your account that your baby is being abused.

      This means that contacting your county (if you are in the U.S.) child protective agency to report this abuse is probably necessary. Obviously this kind of step will upset your wife but SHE is not your primary concern. The health and well-being of your baby is. Something is terribly WRONG and you need to be clear and strong in making every possible step to stop this abuse.

      Again, thank you for finding this post and for your comment! There is a LOT of information on this blog that will be useful to you in beginning to understand the insecure attachment disorder your wife most undoubtedly has. PLEASE continue to take steps forward on your family’s behalf — especially for the protection of your dependent, innocent and beautiful precious baby! Linda – alchemynow

  2. Hello,

    I know this post is three years old, but I was doing some research about this topic and this is the only place that I seem to find that understands this situation, but I was wondering if it could also apply to older children, such as toddlers or 4 year olds. As a child around that age, I was a very picky eater. To the point where there were few foods I actually ate. My father, who tended to be around during meal times while my mother was at work, would get extremely frustrated and impatient with me because I would refuse to eat. This eventually escalated to my father force feeding me as much as he could to get me to eat.

    Oddly enough, I remember all of it. How I would end up crying and feeling sick during every meal whenever my father tried to force me to swallow food. How he would yell at me whenever I did not want to eat or when I refused. Eventually, I would eat less and less and I didn’t enjoy meal time ever. After this happening a large number of times, I think I just told my mother one day that I didn’t want to eat with my father around anymore because he would try to force food in my mouth. She became very upset with him and that was enough to get him to stop doing it. But I forever remained picky about the foods I ate. I was about 3 years old at the time, if not, 4.

    To this day, I have problems with food. Some foods just make me sick and turn my stomach the second I try to eat them and I have struggled with this all my life. I have been trying to correct it, but I also thought about looking into it. I have always felt that those earlier experiences have had something to do with why I have situations where I can’t eat certain foods because I just feel like I am going to vomit the second they are in my mouth. But this is honestly the only post that I have found, so far, that hints towards it. The ‘long-term’ effects of force feeding which is what I believe I might be going through. I was wondering if anyone could possibly explain if this is possible?

    At the age of 22, I have spent most of my life trying my best to enjoy foods. It has worked for me. Some foods came easier to me than others. I went from eating minimal things like yogurt and crackers as a child, to enjoying fruits, breads, and other food groups. My biggest hurdle has so far been foods that are generally bitter which tend to be most vegetables for me. I have made it my goal to try to eat healthier so I can feel better about food for once in my life. Even more so, since my fiance is a vegetarian. He has been so helpful with this, by the way. At the same time, I would also like to figure this all out and look into it. I am sorry for the very long comment, but this post really stuck with me and I have been wondering about it all day. It explains so much for me and any further insight would be amazing right now. Thank you!

    • Hello Josie! I just got my internet back today in my apartment after my hellacious move, so apologies for my delay in writing to you! There is NEVER something “too long” in a comment on this blog!!! Thank you for writing!

      First: I found this book MOST helpful to me!

      http://www.amazon.com/pH-Miracle-Balance-Reclaim-Health/dp/0446556181/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1388716512&sr=1-1&keywords=ph+miracle

      I have never followed any “diet” in my life – but I am 6 years out of treatment for advanced aggressive breast cancer — and met a woman who cured herself of advanced aggressive cervical cancer with this diet in 90 days. I got to know her well and highly respect her – take a look!

      Of my 3 kids my son was an incredibly picky eater. I always trusted he knew what he was doing ’cause when he did eat he’d eat green beans for a few days — then apples. When he was 7 we were taking a bus trip across the country. I gave him some spending money and before the bus left we went across the street to a little grocery store for snacks. He patiently walked the entire store – and ended up buyin the most perfect small cabbage that he put in his backpack and munched off of the entire trip!

      He is what’s called “a grazer” eater. I breastfed him every 2 hours until he was 26 months old. He ate other things by then — but I wonder what your early relationship with your mother was like. Were you breast fed, etc. Just came to me to ask because eating is tied in our body from birth to “community” – as social beings, so it is very much an attachment experience throughout the lifespan.

      My psychotic abusive Borderline Personality Disorder mother used food deprivation and over feeding along with her other extreme and bizarre tactics against me. She withheld food for punishment until I hit my growth before my 13th birthday. I grew 8 inches in 3 months and didn’t gain a pound, 5’8″ at 110 pounds I was thin – so she said she didn’t want people thinking she abused me so she began the force feeding during abuse periods. I remember when she forced me to eat a HUGE stack of pancakes, how my body felt, etc. — and there is NO reason why you couldn’t clearly remember what you do from early on.

      I have found that I enjoy the taste of the organic mostly raw green vegetable juices I crave them – and knowing from reading the pH book how good they are for my body makes this a whole new enjoyable experience for me.

      I am glad you visited my blog and commented – this is an important topic. Americans are far from healthy around food concerns!!! thanks!!

  3. I have recently adopted a young mother & her children in my new neighborhood 9 months ago. We met by chance. She is Guatemaltecan and I speak fluent Spanish. Her husband abandoned her & their 2-month old infant & 4-yr. old daughter for another woman.
    During the past several months, I have witnessed her force-feeding her infant. As she is the same age as my children & I the same as her mother, I’ve tried to give her ‘motherly’ advice.—but to no avail. She is a doctor (in Guatemala) and insists she knows best.
    Her 13-month old is force fed on a daily basis. She is obsessed with his eating. She feeds him huge amounts of food which he simply does not want. After she feeds him, he vomits. She yells at him & continues to feed him after. He is extremely ‘fat’ –he’s in a size 2-3, & yet he’s 13 mos. old. He barely fits into his car seat.
    I don’t know what to do. I have contacted her pastor’s wife & she has witnessed this forced-feeding as well. She’s tried to speak with her, but she is beyond approach. She only says that she knows best.
    My problem is with the health & safety of this toddler. I don’t know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions?

    • Hello Donna – and I apologize for my delay in responding to you (as per “move” recorded on home pages) – REPORT THIS MOTHER AS ABUSIVE ASAP in you live anywhere in America! I hope by the time you read my words you or some other concerned person has done this. Her pastor certainly should have!! There is NO way that this treatment of this child is not ABUSE!!!!! Please let me know what comes of this and thank you for caring and becoming involved!!!

  4. I was diagnosed with failure to thrive as a child since I would not take on solid food according to the parenting guidelines and my mother stopped breastfeeding as often (doctor instructed) in order to get me to eat more solid food. Now I am what you definitely call a short person, which is rare in my family.

    My mother tried to force feed me but I wouldn’t or couldn’t swallow any food they told me, I had to be taken to the hospital to be force fed, where I’m guessing I was force feed with the aid of a funnel or some medical device. To this day I think it affected me in some way, don’t force food your baby, can’t someone come out with a proper vitamin fortified heavy cal baby formula? Why is this even an issue?

  5. Interesting reading. But in the article it says that new mother’s are more likely to force feed. That’s not the case in my situation. I’m a new mom and I don’t force feed my child but my mom force feeds my 9 month old. My mom has 3 of her own. We’re all grown up now but my mom does have tendencies to be abusive. It all started when my daughter caught a cold from her cousin and her teething about a month ago. My daughter wasn’t eating as much as she did before and I accepted it for what it was but my mom thought she was too skinny so she started force feeding her. Even though we gave her foods she liked but she still didn’t want to eat so I took her to the doctor. The doctor put her on a multi-vitamin which helped so much because she started eating more but that wasn’t good enough for my mom. I’ve told my mom over and over again not to force feed her but she continues to do so. I live in my mom’s home just temporarily until I can get my own place so it’s hard to keep my mom away from the baby at feeding time. Now my daughter is a pretty good eater but there are still times my mom will want to force feed her. After reading this article I will put an end to this abuse. I knew it was wrong from the start and this article shed light on my thoughts. Thank you for making me realize that I was right all along.

    • Oh – YES! Stop it immediately!! As I always tell my daughter – knowing she is completely healthy herself – “Trust yourself ALWAYS! You are ALWAYS RIGHT!!”

      I understand how you are in a difficult circumstance – I know you will remove yourself and your beloved children as soon as you can! Stand UP to your mother! You HAVE TO!!”

  6. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing… your experience really resonates with me, especially this:
    “I was an extension of her, therefore whatever she wanted for me was what I would have and there would be no complaints about it. That was my life and I’m certain that started in infancy.”
    Love and healing to you.

  7. I have a nephew that was taken away by the DHS. He was only two months old, his mother was a very young mom and did not have life’s simplest of things. Like a steady place to live a job a diploma. Anyway the baby had eating issues and she had taken him to the doctors many of times but always got the same answer that she was just young mom that did not know what she was doing, and that he was fine. Well he was not fine and at two months she had him in the hospital dehydrated and very weak. The welfare took him for failure to thrive. Now he is two years old and still has never ate solid food and according to the foster mother in the last court hearing, is only drinking bottles of ensure and karo. His muscles are not working properly and has ataxia. The sad thing is they have had him since he was two months and they still insist that his mom was the problem yet they have allowed him to come to near death. I have past all my home inspections and back ground checks and they will not let me have him. They say because of I live in a different state. My nephew is going to die because of bureaucratic bull crap.

    • I just got word that the DHS had a adoptive family for my nephew but now those people do not want him. And the babies attorney the GAL called and asked if I still wanted him. I don’t know what this will bring but maybe I will be able to help him after all. If any of you are Christians please pray for this to work out his name is Iziaha Simmons. I just want the best for him, and that Gods will be done in his life. Thank you.

      • Dear baby is coming home to his family, and we WILL be praying for all of you! You have a natural wisdom of deep and lasting love for this little one that will guide you in all that he needs. Blessings for you all! Please stay in touch here if you wish to so we know how you and baby Isiaha are doing! Very good news!!!!!!

  8. http://news.yahoo.com/mother-force-fed-baby-death-155806091.html
    .
    Mother force-fed baby to death
    By Tim Castle | Reuters – Wed, Oct 12, 2011.

    “LONDON (Reuters) – A nurse faces jail after killing her baby by force-feeding in the first case of its kind in Britain.

    Gloria Dwomoh was found guilty at the Old Bailey on Wednesday of causing or allowing the death of her 10-month-old daughter Diamond.

    She was said to be obsessed with the child’s weight and poured liquidised food into her mouth when she was weaning her.”

    Wow. Interesting that this should come up now.

    • Oh MY! Oh bless us all!! I have never thought about it before, ever, but I bet it’s entirely possible that women with eating disorders of their OWN could very easily transfer that sickness to their baby/child — but most dangerous with infants!! This must be meant for our specific prayers, dear readers — yes, Cinderella — strange, but I believe God has His reasons!!

  9. I think it is so horrible that you classify, across the board, all parents who force-feed their children as child-abusers. When my son was born, the nurses and doctors advised me to force-feed him, since at 5 weeks premature and with a myopathy and enlarged heart he had such low muscle tone that he could not feed properly. He was intubated to be fed, without my consent- and I struggled for months to teach him to breast-feed. I had to force bottles down him during this time in order to keep him alive, on doctor’s orders! Now, yes he has an eating disorder, which I was well-aware would happen, but my baby was losing weight and very weak since he could not eat. There are children who are going to let themselves starve. It happens. These are difficult and dangerous choices that some people are forced, heartbreakingly, to make. I think your lack of support for people in this situation, and your severe judgement of them, is very counter-productive, in that it will demonize people who are trying to be good parents, but who, through circumstances beyond their control, fail their children. It is not a perfect world.

    • Hi – I have asked my daughter, also a mother of a preterm baby (now 19 months old) to reply to you. I do not consider what you are describing as ‘force feeding’, but rather as a medically necessary life sustaining procedure of compassionate care.

      Please read this post and most importantly Cinderella’s comments to it for a context for this present post:

      +INFANT-CHILD ABUSE AND FRANTIC PANIC (dissociation, disorganized-disoriented insecure attachment)

      at https://stopthestorm.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/infant-child-abuse-and-frantic-panic-dissociation-disorganized-disoriented-insecure-attachment/

      • Thank you so very much for your non-defensive reply…you really helped me. I have been feeling a terrible mother since my son was born, and sometimes the guilt can almost kill me. I really appreciate you rkind comments. It helped me so much, that you would be so compassionate to someone who sounded so angry at you. Thank you. I tried very hard with my son. Now he will not eat and I don’t know what to do!

        • Hello and thank you for following the comments here — As I was driving into town this afternoon this exact thought/feeling came to me — that something about this whole situation troubles you still and pains you deeply. Oh, dear mommy!! I wanted to tell you when that thought came to me while I was driving that a mother that LOVES her child communicates this love to her baby in ten million times ten million ways!!!

          Babies that are abused are missing MOST if not ALL of mother love!! You son has always known of your love for him! You don’t say how old he is — if you don’t mind sharing I would like to know…… How old is your son now??

          And, to other readers also — there is another piece to this puzzle regarding the inability of an infant to ‘turn away’ from its caregiver and have that break in interaction honored and respected.

          When an infant turns away from human interactions that most often means that the baby is in need of calming itself down from stimulation. It is part of the right-social-emotional brain building that is rushing onward at such an incredibly fast speed during the first year of life. Most often the infant will turn its head to the left so that information can be processed by the right hemisphere. Turning to the right means that info is being processed in the left hemisphere of the brain. (Both regions have different jobs to do….)

          MEN are far less likely to instinctively read an infant’s turning-away signals so that they get right back into the baby’s face. This is OVERSTIMULATING to the baby. There are also many causes of mothers also not reading this signal correctly…….

          When the baby wishes to reengage socially, when it is ready, the infant will normally turn its head back and reestablish contact.

          When medically needed feeding strategies need to be used, these turning-away patterns are not as easily handled during feeding, but a good healthy loving mother will instinctively MORE THAN MAKE UP for the temporary and necessary discomfort that such a little one must go through for its own well-being. Thanks for posting!!!!

          • by the way, adults also do this turning-away in conversation — breaking eye contact when ‘things’ get intense or there is info that needs to be processed. The same patterns of direction apply. It is fascinating to begin observing these patterns in our self and in others! But in INFANTS these patterns are essential to the BUILDING of their right brain — which will govern their emotional regulation or dysregulation for the rest of a lifetime.

    • This is my mother’s blog. I’m not sure if you just happened on it for the first time with this post, but the larger context for the entire blog is very damaging and horrific child abuse and what it does to a developing child. I can see how, out of context, my mom’s post on force-feeding an infant (such as pouring milk down their throats while they gag, or making them eat their own vomit) can unfortunately appear to paint with such a wide brush as to include circumstances like the one you have experienced with your son.

      As my mom mentioned, my son was 6 weeks early and would not eat (nor could he really digest what was fed to him down his nose tube). Digestive issues are largely what kept him in the NICU for 30 days. When I brought him home, the eating situation was pretty precarious — we had to be very creative and assertive in getting him to eat (and stay awake long enough to eat!) by rubbing under his chin, squeezing his cheeks, turning the bottle in his mouth, taking clothes off to keep him alert — all to stimulate his natural instincts to eat. My mom was well aware of this need, and as she clarified in her comment to you, would consider this medically necessary, compassionate care. (My son never really learned to nurse, so I pumped for several months and fed him out of a bottle.)

      The article that brought this topic up in the first place (infant abuse at a UK day care center) was only one of many horrible examples that exist out there of force-feeding as a form of infant abuse.

      My best to you and your son!

    • muffinmaiden
      The situation you describe is not what my situation was. My mother was trying to make me sleep. It was not that I had a problem eating, she thought if she could make me eat more, or solid foods before I should have, that I would sleep through the night. I realize now that my stomach probably hurt and what she was doing was making it worse. I was not premature. I was not starving. Please don’t feel that the paint brush is being used too widely. Linda’s comments were directed at my specific circumstance. Apples and oranges. It is not a perfect world, you are very correct. You make decisions and then live with the consequences….it is impossible to know the future. You do your best at the time. If your child was starving he didn’t have appear to have strings tied around his/her joints…..as I did when she continued to feed me that way.
      ~Peace

  10. Ding, ding, ding!! Right there, in one of your links:
    http://www.irinnews.org/report.aspx?reportid=85625
    “Next door to Niger, communities in Burkina Faso have reported feeding their newborns solid food to induce sleep in order to free time for agriculture work, said nutritionist Marcel Dabo Bengaly. “They feed their babies millet porridge,” said Bengaly, who is leading a national breastfeeding study for UN Children’s Fund (UNICEF).

    He told IRIN women are unaware their infants’ still-forming digestive systems are ill-equipped to handle adult food. “All they know is that feeding their babies solid food buys them a few extra hours of work in the fields.””

    She talked about feeding me solid foods way before she should have in an effort to get me to sleep…..same thing, exactly. Thank you Linda!

  11. Thank you for all those links Linda. I did try very hard to read Dr. Shore’s article several months ago…..it depressed me in ways I cannot describe. I read parts, skimmed others. It is hard information to digest (no pun intended). My mother was not inexperienced. She had already had three children. I believe she just didn’t want to have to fool with me 6 to 8 times per day and figured that if she forced me to eat even when I was turning away that I would be ‘full’ and not demanding another feeding. I have no doubt that she was tired, but I did not force her to have sex with my father…..I used to tell her (when I got stupid and brave in high school) that I didn’t ask to be born. She didn’t have a come back for that. I’m guessing that some of my inability to eat now might be directly linked to these early interactions. 😦

    I suspect this is closer to the truth:
    “Alternatively, if a good attachment has not formed between mother and baby, tolerance of the infant may be low and any slight ‘misdemeanour’ by the baby provokes irritation. The tolerance level may also be reduced if the mother is depressed or unhappy.”

    +

    Feeding the Fussy Child – “Your baby develops dietary preferences, as she becomes aware that she is not just an extension of you. Deciding what she would like to eat is one way in which she asserts her independence.”

    That wasn’t gonna happen! I was an extension of her, therefore whatever she wanted for me was what I would have and there would be no complaints about it. That was my life and I’m certain that started in infancy. I thought for a time that I had made that up, but my half siblings admit that it is true…..they used to talk about how ‘controlled’ I was.

    You suggest that I write my narrative……well that would take me about 10 minutes to write what I remember from my childhood. That is a sign isn’t it?
    I guess it is just all part and parcel of the gift that keeps on giving.

    • You exactly noted the sentences that popped out at me regarding my mother! I am so sorry for both of us!! Mothers so SICK!! But here we are, and we CAN HEAL! Not to reverse certain parts of how we had to change in response to those abuses — but inside our own SELF!! I do plan to work my way through that Schore article at some point to try to make it more clear, but I think what you mention is part of why I haven’t done it yet — it’s too painful!!

      I know what my daughter gives her 19-month-old son, that love — I NEVER had ONE SECOND of it in 18 years. Oh well, here I AM AM AM AM!! And I am wonderful, as you are!!

      Email me sometime on the eating concerns directly if you wish – we can dialog some!! much love!!

      • Omg I feel terrible. I thought this eating frenzy was a cultural thing, being that I come from a long lineage of Greek women whom over feed their children. Do you think my mother learned from her mother who learned from her mother that tricking baby to eat is ok because they were all poor and starving circa World War II? Food was so scarce I remember my grandmother telling me she gave her son , my uncle, figs tied in a cotton cloth to suck on because she had no milk.
        I know I was force fed because I catch myself doing it to my kids when I’m annoyed or angry with my life.. So sad but worse my mom somehow got away with tricking my first son to eat. sometimes I would watch her sneaky ways, telling him elaborate animated stories, making it seem so much fun, that I thought it was ok, sometimes he would be so mezmerized that he would eat everything so I figured he must of been hungry anyhow but didn’t want to eat because maybe he preferred to play. Whatever the case I’ve asked her to stop and she has but damage has been done. Now repair work is upon us, but please pray and give us hope that I will only let the natural rhythms of my babies needs be grounds for the choices I make

        • Hi. There are so many factors involved in different situations. I certainly ‘played’ games to get my kids to eat sometimes – but adults should know the difference, hopefully, between trying to get food into little ones who NEED to eat reasonably and forcing them to eat in aggressive and unhealthy ways. I feel for you in your situation!! Healthy patterns of eating are a family concern and eating on regular schedules good healthy food gives a context for food as a sustaining and pleasant part of being members of a social species. Past histories of deprivation in adults can so easily be passed unnecessarily on to the next generations!

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