+MY ABUSIVE BPD MOTHER LOST HER WINGS – AND NEVER GREW UP

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This is essentially what I believe about what my Mother’s severe Borderline Personality Disorder did to her.  Mother’s disease interfered with Mother’s mental faculties in such a way that they did not operate correctly or normally.  Her mind worked according to the trauma-changed dictates of her physiology.

Human mental faculties, as inherent properties of the soul, can be interfered with by diseases in the body:  “Consider how the human intellect develops and weakens, and may at times come to naught, whereas the soul changeth not.

Mother’s mental faculties were greatly changed from normal, and very nearly came to naught.”  As far as her own evil-bad-devil’s child versus her own blessed-perfect-good-God’s child psychosis was concerned, there was NOTHING RATIONAL ABOUT IT, and nothing rational came from that mentally deranged pattern of brain wave activity.

Mother’s soul, just as mine is and everybody’s else’s is, was not – I believed – in itself changed in its essence.  Her mind was unable to operate in a healthy way in her very sick body:  “For the mind to manifest itself, the human body must be whole; and a sound mind cannot be but in a sound body, whereas the soul dependeth not upon the body.

Mother’s soul could not radiate its light through her body-brain.  Such was the nature of her disease as it created changes to her mental faculties.  At the same time, and through this process that began in Mother’s earliest life, her true ability to REASON was removed from her by her BPD disease:  “It is through the power of the soul that the mind comprehendeth, imagineth and exerteth its influence, whilst the soul is a power that is free.

Just as can happen in the cases of many diseases and injuries to a human body, the soul can be trapped in a condition of non-full-expression until the body dies.  As the following quotation indicates, “… the proofs are many that go to show that despite the loss of reason, the power of the soul would still continue to exist.

The sun behind thick clouds is not affected in its brilliance; only the ability of its rays to shine brightly on the material world below is interfered with.  I believe the disease that captured my Mother’s body eliminated her options of free choice, and in this process nearly completely dimmed the brilliance of her soul.  Her disease was a TRAGEDY that afflicted her – and created much chaos and harm in her life.  Because she was her children’s mother, her disease drastically affected our lives – especially mine.

As far as I am concerned my mother remained a child.  She was robbed by the traumas in her earliest life that contributed so profoundly to the changes her body-brain made in its efforts to survive that trauma, from ever growing up.

Mother remained, in my thinking, an INNOCENT.  I do not believe she fits into the category of accountability or responsibility that is described in the second quotation here down below.  Mother’s disease took her wings away from her.

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“Now concerning mental faculties, they are in truth of the inherent properties of the soul, even as the radiation of light is the essential property of the sun. The rays of the sun are renewed but the sun itself is ever the same and unchanged. Consider how the human intellect develops and weakens, and may at times come to naught, whereas the soul changeth not. For the mind to manifest itself, the human body must be whole; and a sound mind cannot be but in a sound body, whereas the soul dependeth not upon the body. It is through the power of the soul that the mind comprehendeth, imagineth and exerteth its influence, whilst the soul is a power that is free. The mind comprehendeth the abstract by the aid of the concrete, but the soul hath limitless manifestations of its own. The mind is circumscribed, the soul limitless. It is by the aid of such senses as those of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch, that the mind comprehendeth, whereas, the soul is free from all agencies. The soul as thou observest, whether it be in sleep or waking, is in motion and ever active. Possibly it may, whilst in a dream, unravel an intricate problem, incapable of solution in the waking state. The mind, moreover, understandeth not whilst the senses have ceased to function, and in the embryonic stage and in early infancy the reasoning power is (p.338) totally absent, whereas the soul is ever endowed with full strength. In short, the proofs are many that go to show that despite the loss of reason, the power of the soul would still continue to exist. The spirit however possesseth various grades and stations.”

Baha’i World Faith–Selected Writings of Baha’u’llah and `Abdu’l-Baha (`Abdu’l-Baha’s Section Only), Pages 336-348: gr4

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There is another quotation that holds much of importance for me to think about in connection to the 18 years of tragic abuse I suffered because of Mother’s illness:

Know also that the soul is endowed with two wings: should it soar in the atmosphere of love and contentment, then it will be related to the All-Merciful, and should it fly in the atmosphere of self and desire, then it will pertain to the Evil One; may God shield and protect us and protect you therefrom, O ye who perceive! Should the soul become ignited with the fire of the love of God, it is called benevolent and pleasing unto God, but should it be consumed with the fire of passion, it is known as the concupiscent soul. Thus have We expounded this subject for thee that thou mayest obtain a clear understanding.” — Bahá’u’lláh

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See post:  +RATIONAL THOUGHT: POWER OF THE HUMAN SOUL BPD STEALS AWAY TO ENSURE SURVIVAL

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