This morning’s email to a friend:
Last night was not much for sleeping. Finally gave up trying and up to the glorious full moon by 2:30 a.m.
Something is happening to me – the transformations this writing is bringing. I am too close to this now. I cannot tell in what ways I am changing.
I am accomplishing what I intended to. I am locating my child self in time and space. I guess I had no expectations about what I would find. I guess that left me open, because my search was always only for the truth — the best I could find it.
What I have found so far in myself by age 8 1/2 is that purity of soul you and I ‘talked’ about yesterday. Last night that purity must have caught up with me!
At 2:30 a.m. I had these words appear in my awareness: “I am not a self with a soul. I am a soul with a self.”
As I went looking for ‘my self’ as a child I did not know that when I found ‘her’ that is exactly what I would find: my soul. Not that I have ever ‘lost’ my soul, but as I got up and wrote ‘for the book’ I realized my soul from childhood did not grow up with a conscious connection to ‘my self’ — I was ‘just’ a shining pure mirror soul who only very very gradually found a ‘self’ at all
and mostly that has happened in my adulthood.
That would be a search far outside of ‘this book’ being written, to follow my self from age 18 through my adult life to find out when ‘my self’ came on stage — and then took the stage.
I have never lost sight of God, or of the ‘idea of soul’ — but last night I FELT the connection between my soul and my self – consciously — for the first time in my life.
I wanted to share this with you. In the end, it all comes around to the writings at this link — not sure if you wish to read them or not, isn’t important — so much — but I guess if I use that word ‘healing’ something healed for me last night.
I love you!