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Wednesday, April 27, 2016.  I can look back and remember the YEARS when a thought would come to me for a post and then I simply sat down and wrote that post out without effort.  I hope that process returns to me once my move this fall is complete and I am home again at last.

In my life right now thoughts tumble, stumble, swarm and bifurcate into tangential ideas that seemingly have no end.  I see in my mind the image of a great old tree complete with probably millions of twigs reaching out in new growth every year.  How to pick out important twigs?  How to separate them exactly from the branches they are growing from?

Part of my writing problems stems from the fact that I have written so many posts over the years that I KNOW contain information connected to any thought I might have for a post today.  Here are a few past posts (links at the bottom of this post ) that fit this bill right now as connected to something I discovered today – which I connect to body-brain developmental changes caused by early severe neglect and abuse trauma –

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A friend sent me a link to this video today – ASTOUNDING!

Autistic Girl Expresses Unimaginable Intelligence

This incredible child’s name is Carly – and here is her blog:

Carly’s Voice

And here’s the site for her book:

Carly’s Voice:  Breaking Through Autism

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The video is, I believe, a MUST WATCH for anyone who has experienced severe early trauma who has come to understand that there is much in their trauma-altered experience of living that is connected to a Reactive Attachment Disorder pattern of insecure attachment.

What is the ability to communicate?   What is Carly finally able to say about the truth of HER experience on the autism spectrum?  What can we SAY about the truth of what happened to us?

I pause here to include links to posts on this blog related, also, to Disorganized-Disoriented Insecure Attachment – all connected to the great branches of what happened to so many of us:

+A COLLECTION OF THIS BLOG’S LINKS ON DISSOCIATION AND DISORGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT

+DISORGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT – 2 ARTICLE LINKS

*Attachment Simplified – Disorganized Insecure Attachment – Disorganized-Disoriented

+INFANT-CHILD ABUSE AND FRANTIC PANIC (dissociation, disorganized-disoriented insecure attachment)

+DISOGANIZED-DISORIENTED INSECURE ATTACHMENT – AT THE CORE OF ‘BORDERLINE’

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Also:

+ADULT REACTIVE ATTACHMENT DISORDER: LIVING WITH IT

+WHAT EARLY ABUSE/NEGLECT SURVIVORS MOST NEED TO KNOW (AND ARE LEAST LIKELY TO BE TOLD)

+CLEAR ARTICLE ON LIFELONG INFANT-CHILD TRAUMA CONSEQUENCES

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When it comes to thinking about the spectrum that exists between people who are super sensitive on one end and those who are far less sensitive on the other – true also for autism — here are some posts talking about this continuum in connection to Trauma Altered development:

*Allostasis and Allostatic Load — April 12, 2009 This page contains my own working notes written while studying the research of the authors noted below.  Please go to my sectionhttps://stopthestorm.wordpress.com/references/ to locate the citation for their work.  Be patient, the reference page is a bit slow to load because it contains about 200 text pages of reference material.

+ARE YOU A ‘SENSITIVE?’

+FASCINATING NOTES ON LIVING WITH TRAUMA

+TRAUMA SURVIVORS: OUR TENSILE STRENGTH

*OVERWHELMING TRAUMA CHANGES

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I guess I believe that it is often the task of a writer to “think for” our readers.  The more there is to know about how the toxic stress caused by early infant and child trauma alters physiological development and causes problems for a lifetime, the more complex the array of combinations of relevant information becomes.  I really cannot think of any simple way to explain today how I know there are undoubtedly powerful connections between the experience of being on the autism spectrum and being “on the trauma altered development spectrum.”

So all I can manage to do right now is to encourage a watching of the video I mention above and a scan through one or more of the earlier posts on this blog whose I include here today.

I don’t believe there is anyone out there who will tell us the information we most need to know as trauma altered people.  This is true because they really CAN’T tell us.  Nobody can process this information for us, really.  We have to search for the truths to our own experience for ourselves.

These following blog posts represent only a small few of the many on this topic to be discovered on this blog.

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+SAFE? UNSAFE? HOW DO OUR STATES OF BEING RELATE TO ANCIENT JAWLESS FISH?

+PORGES’ IMPORTANT NEW BOOK TO HELP INFANT-CHILD ABUSE SURVIVORS

+MOVIE – TEMPLE GRANDIN: RELATES TO SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL BRAIN CHANGES FROM INFANT ABUSE

+JUST AGAIN RECOMMENDING THE MOVIE, ‘TEMPLE GRANDIN’

+THINKING ABOUT THINKING (PART FOUR): SEVERE INFANT ABUSE SURVIVORS’ UNIQUE WORLDVIEW

+WORDS DO NOT MEAN SOCIAL CONNECTION TO ME – THEY ARE OBJECT-TOOLS-WEAPONS

+THINKING ABOUT ANIMALS, PEOPLE, COMPASSION

+SOME MORE INFO ON MUSIC, VOICE AND THE BRAIN

+POWER OF SOUND FOR HEALING OUR NERVOUS SYSTEM-BRAIN

+A LONG, THOUGHTFUL LOOK AT VERBAL ABUSE AS MALIGNANT TEASING

+LEARNING STYLES AND LONELINESS

+GENDER AND THE BRAIN — DIFFERENCES AND EARLY TRAUMA

**Buck on Symbolic Communication and Emotions

++LIMBIC SYSTEM

+IS MENTAL ILLNESS THE COST OF OUR SPECIES’ GREATEST GIFTS?

**Dr. Allan Schore on Emotional Regulation – Notes

*Notes on emotion and meaning

++HIPPOCAMPUS

*Notes on Hippocampus

++AMYGDALA

++ DR. SCHORE ON SHAME

++User’s Guide – notes on Ratey’s writings

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society.

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016.  Here it is yet another heavily overcast gray day in Fargo, ND – again.  Forty two degrees.  Yes, the air is CLEAN!  I told myself before I left my high desert Arizona home nearly three years ago to be sure to pay attention to HOW CLEAN THE AIR IS here!  Yep!

I am listening to my cloudy very damp day restoration sound track on YouTube – 3 Hours of Nightingale Singing!  It is helping me to be surrounded by songs of a bird I will probably never see in person!

A friend of mine also (re)posted something today I thought maybe readers here might like to know about –

How to Release the Stress stored in our Bodies by Jacob Devaney

It includes

“The best doctor is already within you. There is no replacement for cultivating a practice that heals, replenishes, and relaxes you from the in-side, out. There are numerous yoga poses that can help you on your journey of releasing this stress, anxiety, and fear stored within your psoas. Yoga calls this “the muscle of the soul” so any focus here is sure to give great results to your overall well-being. Yoga International seems to have a comprehensive list of photos and descriptions of poses that can start you on your journey.”

I admit that I have never practiced yoga.  Will I begin today?  Not sure.  But reading this article helps me understand I DO have some untried options to help me   I do not quite know why even ATTEMPTING yoga feels so intimidating to me?

Probably because it’s an unknown.  It’s something I would rather begin in the company of other people – very SAFE and super friendly and encouraging other people!

Maybe if I had a printer and could print the yoga instructions so I had them next to me way down there on the FLOOR (of all places) I would at least TRY this pose for the betterment of my Psoas muscle.  Meanwhile – what I really want to do is listen to nightingales singing while I take a very cool and cloudy day nap!

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If you haven’t seem this – take a browse!  This is MY style of “working out” and I SO MISS THIS!”

LINDA’S ADOBE PEACE GARDEN

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society.”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders, borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse, depression, derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder, dissociation, dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Monday, April 18, 2016.  How strange, yet I guess I am not surprised.  Thoughts and feelings about my “art therapist self-hood” are reawakened by having heard yesterday from the “play therapist” contacting me for some training I offered to share with her (as I mentioned in my previous post).

There could not have been a profession I could have chosen and worked for my master’s degree in that could possibly have been any closer to my heart-of-hearts, to who I am in my essence.  In fact, it is even the one my grandmother – a career psychologist specializing in helping people choose their correct careers (my mother’s mother) – gave me the Strong-Campbell Interest Inventory text when I was 11 or 12 and from those results predicted that I would be most successful and happiest as – an art therapist!!

The career field did not exist when Grandmother gave me that test with her recommendations.  I had not read that report for over 20 years until I found it again while I was IN my art therapy graduate program (University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, 1989-1991).  Yes, this was more than a little eerie of a discovery to me at that time!

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So, what really happens to us over the loss of something like this that means so much to us?  My hopes did not really work out over the long haul for myself with art therapy as a profession – for many, many reasons, none of which I could really control.  (The Serenity Prayer comes to mind here.)

At this moment I am greatly wishing I had someone in my life to have an actual conversation with about these matters.  But I don’t.  So I am writing here….

Although I have retained my national Art Therapist registration, which is a credential that can only be obtained by pursuing such a master’s degree along with meeting all the supervision requirements, this certification is for the most part truly “useless” and “worthless” in American society today.  VERY few states have gone through a process to get approval for licensure specifically for art therapists, so ANYONE, literally, can claim to “do art therapy” or to “be an art therapist.”

There is NO protection for the profession.

To me this is no different from a situation where someone who has a pair of pliers handy can claim to be a dentist.

Is this a dangerous situation for the public?  I would say yes – with a but….

I am SO good at what I do I completely understand and accept the responsibility that goes along with the incredible POWER that art therapy, accomplished by a trained, skilled and gifted Art Therapist can have.

BUT!  Given that so few people actually HAVE these qualifications, I would say that the danger to the public is greatly lessened simply because without the qualifications the power is all but gone.  I am not sure there is any more risk than there would be with a teacher “doing art work” with kindergartners.

Sad to me, really, in so many, many ways.  No wonder this feels like a longing has been tapped, touched, reawakened!

BUT!  This is reality.  Just as my grandmother was decades ahead of her time even in her recognition of my aptitude for such a profession, and in her actually NAMING a profession that did not yet exist (and so barely even does now over 50 years later), the entire field of art therapy is so far ahead of the curve it is well over an invisible horizon and may not actually appear until hundreds of years from now.

I have known for many years that given the chance to do four “evaluative” art therapy sessions would provide such depth, breadth and truth of a client’s life that a regular therapist could spend a year working through the information I could provide them about their client.

I would NEVER have the patience to do the “working through” with a client that ongoing therapy actually requires, although I know there are some art therapists who CAN do that.

That’s not my niche.  Oh well………  Off I would go in that “missing conversation with nobody out there” that I am longing to have right now about these things!

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So why would I agree to “train” someone in any aspect of art therapy?  How do I do so fairly given these reservations that I obviously so strongly hold in my mind and heart?

Good question!

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I believe in spiritual guidance and I strongly suspect that there is nothing accidental in what is going to happen soon with this “play therapist” as we talk and work together.  I am completely aware that the Creator I am completely comfortable with calling God has plans in this world that I do not – and probably cannot possibly – understand.

It is not my place to question these kinds of situations when they show up.  It is my place to listen to my own heart and to act according to its guidance.

Of course I was quite sure that’s what I was doing 1989-1991 when I got this degree in the first place.  As I look back into my life as a child, to MY LIFE, my OWN (yes, completely-hidden-from-my-abusive-mother) life I see art therapy me all the way back to when I was two years old.  My training was for my soul.  Nobody can ever take that away from me.

Yet I do struggle not to take this part of who I am away from myself!  This is me!  All these abilities along with everything that honed them, belongs to me!  To do with as I choose.

No, I cannot make ART matter in this so-sick and getting sicker materialistic, nonorganic culture I live within.  I cannot change that drugging hurting people is so much more of a popular solution that actually helping them to heal is.  I can’t change these things.

But when I encounter a “play therapist” whose path has crossed my own, who expresses interest and desire to add “art therapy” skills into her bag of tricks….

I am not going to say no.  And, just possibly, some of this woman’s clients may benefit in very special ways from this woman’s administrations of healing as they will carry some part of what I can so capably teach her.

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Do all the words I just wrote take away or diminish this very special ache in my art therapist heart?

Nope.

Oh well.  Life goes on.  I do what I have always done.  My part.  In the best way that I can manage to do it.

I expect that there will be some joy for me in this teaching opportunity.  I LOVE this work!  “Play therapist” lady will get a mega dose of training if she is sincerely up for it.  I am hoping we will be able to record the audio of our sessions, or classes, or whatever these will be.

For my part, there is an art therapist part of me that lies dormant –  quietly – not asserting anything about what cannot be changed.  I don’t know how I used to think about the process of “letting go” but I am very clear what image (ah, images, the life of life) I have now when such times come to me.

My hand held nearly open, palm upward, with a flower bud in the center.  I slowly and without any stress in my fingers spread my fingertips apart as I imagine this flower bud slowly opening to the fullness of its beauty.

Often the image of the flower is of a lotus blossom, but sometimes it is of a waterlily.  Whatever gorgeous flower is there upon my palm, I do not crush it.  I let it open to its own life, as I try yet again to set whatever troubles me — free.

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society….”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

 

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Monday, April 18, 2016.  A “play therapist” I came into contact with over two years ago when I first arrived in Fargo has circled back around again with her new request that I work with her in some way around some basics of art therapy that she can use in her private practice.  (I am a nationally registered art therapist.)

She very briefly described her clientele in an email yesterday along with what she is aiming for –

I was thinking about doing more art therapy with my clients, teens and parents. Possibly start a group. I have divorced parents not able to co parent, teens getting into lots of trouble, depressed/anxious teens, and a severe eating disorder.

I like to be a “guinea pig” and understand the process from the client perspecitve as well. So maybe that can be an option?

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Now, in this healing-paradigm-shifting world, this is the gist of what I sent back to her this morning.  I see absolutely NO WAY that any reputable therapist cannot be informed about ACEs in today’s world!

(I just received her response to my email – this savvy therapist is already familiar with ACEs info but will check further through this info I am asking her to look at prior to Wednesday morning when we will meet.) –

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Good morning!

Let’s aim for Wed. morning.  We can go up to Red Raven Espresso Parlor (are you familiar with this place up on Main?) – That’s an excellent spot for ‘conversations’ that matter!!!  there is a side community room here where we can work/learn (and if you believe in prayer, please add some for your and my efforts together)

Red Raven Espresso Parlor

It takes AT LEAST a specialized masters in art therapy to even begin to ‘do this’ correctly – but we do not live in an ideal world and I am very willing to trust you as a healer that you are asking for this sincerely – and with the best intent!I would absolutely start by introducing you to a process – for your own self – I will bring along some basic supplies.

I DO really want you to do some ‘homework’ before we meet – this info is ESSENTIAL to your practice – if you have not encountered this yet – NOW IS THE ABSOLUTE TIME TO DO SO!!

More than ANY ‘technique’ you might use — THIS info is the healing power behind ANY hope of helping others that is needed in ‘this day and time’ – this is where the paradigm shift is happening

google search “cdc ace study” —

that’s the basic stuff – I wish you to have at least scanned this before we meet!

also check this site

ACEsConnection: Home

www.acesconnection.com/

As a long time teacher activist, “owner” of my own ACEs collection, and passionate believer in grass roots activism, I want our voices actively engaged within this …
AND

watch one or both of these videos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura Porter – YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHH37ia6Wc8

Oct 9, 2014 – Uploaded by Northwest Venture Philanthropy

At an April 9 workshop at McKenna Events Center in New Braunfels, Texas, Laura Porter, co-founder of ACE …

Laura Porter Keynote: NEAR Science & New WA … – YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr-w_uBCbYY

Nov 17, 2014 – Uploaded by Foundation for Healthy Generations (Healthy Gen)

Laura Porter, Senior Director of the Learning Institute at Foundation for Healthy Generations explores .

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I HIGHLY suggest you order this book ASAP

http://www.amazon.com/ACEs-Revolution-Adverse-Childhood-Experiences/dp/1523710195/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1460952013&sr=1-1&keywords=the+aces+revolution

and this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Functional Family Workbook: 206 Things You Can Do To Raise Happy and Confident Children!
There is an increasing amount of info on this – but watch the very short trailer -OK – now THIS – and it’s quick and painless!!

http://kpjrfilms.co/paper-tigers/

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Meanwhile, Oh HOW I WISH I could sing like THIS!

Up to the mountain

Patty Griffin sings a mind blowing rendition of this amazing song that she wrote in honor of Martin Luther King. The words can be found here: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/pattygriffin/uptothemountainmlksong.html

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Another email was also sent recommending article by Dr. Martin Teicher, attachment book by Dr. Daniel Siegel, and anything online – there are many articles on attachment and right brain development – by Dr. Allan N. Schore.

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Leave a Comment »

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.

Story Without Words is a forensic biography/autobiography in which the author, Linda Danielson, explores three generations of her family history to help understand the horrific abuse she was subjected to from birth at her mother’s hands. Her mother Mildred had a psychotic break while delivering Linda, her second of six children and the only one of whom she targeted directly for abuse. The delivery culminated in Mildred being convinced that Linda had been sent by the devil to kill her, and until Linda left home at age 18 for boot camp, she was subjected to unrelenting abuse.

Story Without Words is a creative and compassionate exploration of early factors that may have contributed to Mildred’s abusive trajectory. The author seeks to give words to her experiences as a child abuse survivor; Story Without Words is unique in providing the words of the abuser and the abused in one volume. The author seeks to provide insight for others who were themselves abused, professionals who wish to learn more about the inner world of survivors, and concerned individuals who wish to help stop the storm of child abuse in our society….”

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

 

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Sunday, April 17, 2016.  Things that I wanted to mention in a blog post are piling up, and I am afraid if I don’t take a few moments to note some of them here this evening I will lose some information that is important to me as this time of my life is a’passing by with me in it.

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AUTISM

Along with April being Child Abuse Prevention month it is also Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month.  I want to mention an excellent blog with information about children “on the ASD spectrum”  (Austism Spectrum Disorder).

I am mentioning here in this post for the first time the incredible journey it has been since my arrival in Fargo October 12, 2013 to help my daughter with her family.  It was quite an ordeal of a struggle to finally get the accurate ASD diagnosis for the older of my two grandsons when he was four.  He is finishing his first year in kindergarten now and with all the love, care and services he has and is receiving he is making incredible progress.

There has to be a very steep learning curve regarding ASD awareness for everyone involved in the care of very young children.  The younger they are when they receive their accurate diagnosis the sooner they receive services specific to their own “version” of growth, development and existence.

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LEAVING

It was extremely important – no, it was VITAL – that I move up here to Fargo because of the needs of my little grandsons  – but I have to leave here before next winter arrives (probably moving in September).  Leaving my grandsons will be excruciatingly difficult but I CANNOT remain here.  I am, quite literally it seems, completely allergic to the “excessive hardships” of this location.  (I have SO “been there done that” over the course of my childhood and adult life!)

I need the sunshine and warmth (Fargo has MAYBE had 15 sunny days in nearly 8 months), color of blue skies, red rock mountain views, rural living, small towns, laid back people, some privacy, flowers, nature, QUIET and peace – I need to return to the Arizona-Mexico high desert borderland if AT ALL POSSIBLE!

(I did at least get to now plant something in my 9 white 5-gallon plastic buckets set on the little cement slab outside my door this week with Romaine lettuce, Swiss Chard, snapdragons, pansies and poppies.)

Which leads me to my next batch of thoughts – about —

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PRAYER

About a month ago a picture of a whale breaking water appeared in my facebook news feed along with a note that fascinated me.  I went back to find it and could not.  I even posted a request to find the person who posted this everywhere I could think of to no avail.  Oh well!

What I remember of those words was a description of how animals speak a language – the 1st language; humans speak in the language of our words – the 2nd language; and then, this person mentioned – there is yet another 3rd language – the language of PRAYER!

I rely exclusively on the prayers HERE because I believe with many others that they are divinely inspired.  Yet I know among all the followers of all the world’s faiths there are inspired prayers from the heart that are also powerful!

If nothing else, the difficulties of my length of stay here at this point in my life have lead me to rely on prayer like never before – and this is a very good thing!  I pray a lot of the whole human race.  There is a LOT of suffering going on – and while I can try to do my own small part to be of service to humanity – I do believe that prayer is more important than anything else I can come up with to do.

We are in so many ways “an endangered species” – with a Creator Who loves us more than we can ever begin to imagine.  But we do insist, it seems to me, on being willfully disobedient kidz – and I do wonder how much longer we will be allowed to continue down our so hurtful and destructive path!  We CAN – and I believe NEED TO – ask for HELP so that it can be provided to us.

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BOOKS

I want to mention a book I just finished reading.  It is one my daughter (mother of my grandsons) is using as a required reading in the college course she is teaching right now (required as a component of her doctorate program).

I cannot emphasize enough how important a read I think this book is for many, many reasons!!  Once I resettle myself again this fall I am hoping to organize an informal book club reading and study of this profoundly important tale of two INCREDIBLE (centurion) women!

Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters’ First 100 Years

by Sarah L. Delany and A. Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (1993)

Sarah Louise “Sadie” Delany was an African-American educator and civil rights pioneer — Born: September 19, 1889, Campbell County, Virginia –Died: January 25, 1999, Mount Vernon, NY – lived 110 years!

Annie Elizabeth “Bessie” Delany was an African-American dentist and civil rights pioneer  – Born:  September 3, 1891, Raleigh, North Carolina – Died:  September 25, 1995, Mt. Vernon, NY — lived 104 years!

Warm, feisty, and intelligent, the Delany sisters speak their mind in a book that is at once a vital historical record and a moving portrait of two remarkable women who continued to love, laugh, and embrace life after over a hundred years of living side by side.

Their sharp memories show us the post-Reconstruction South and Booker T. Washington; Harlem’s Golden Age and Langston Hughes, W.E.B. Du Bois, and Paul Robeson. Bessie breaks barriers to become a dentist; Sadie quietly integrates the New York City system as a high school teacher. Their extraordinary story makes an important contribution to our nation’s heritage—and an indelible impression on our lives.”

There are two more titles I want to order and read –  I just haven’t gotten that far yet!!

On My Own at 107: Reflections on Life Without Bessie by Sarah Louise Delany and Amy Hill Hearth (Feb 1997)

The Delany Sisters’ Book of Everyday Wisdom Hardcover

by Sarah Louise Delany, Annie Elizabeth Delany with Amy Hill Hearth (Nov 1994)

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There are two more important books on order I am excited to read – written by A MAN WITH ZEZRO ACES!!  WOW – I cannot imagine!  He has important things to say about (I added this book’s info as a postscript to my last post) —

The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

John’s book does a superb job of giving hope on how to prevent ACEs and has remarkable results for EVERY FAMILY THAT READS THE SECOND PART OF THE BOOK OUT LOUD TOGETHER! Conversations will begin that are essential to heartfelt communication. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study details the significant impact of childhood trauma on the emotional and physical well being for the remainder of your life. John’s book does a great job of showing the IMPACT of ACEs in all phases of our lives…and WE ARE ALL IMPACTED…even if you have zero ACEs yourself. This book gives hope to those who have lived in the shadows of pain and vulnerability from trauma in their childhood. His adopted grand daughter was a 7 ACE score…and after 9 years of love from the family…feels like a ZERO! You can change your stars with LOVE.”

Trayser is boldly advocating NO MORE ACES – and this 2nd book of his is about healing the families all children are born into –

Functional Family Workbook:  206 Things You Can Do To Raise Happy and Confident Children!

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2010)

The Functional Family Workbook lists 206 ideas and activities that will let your children KNOW THAT YOU CARE! That is the most important part of raising children. They don’t need perfection, or lots of money and things…they are hungry to KNOW that you care. If truly USED with the children…discussions will begin that will cement that notion. Children don’t care WHAT you know…UNTIL they know how much you care!”

Trayser also has a third book that I am not ordering at this time:

A Greatful Dad: 9 Practices For Building and Restoring the Relationship You Envisioned with Your Kids

by John Richard Trayser (Jan 25, 2016)

A Greatful Dad challenges parents who were not connected emotionally with their parents. There are ways to heal the family and they usually center around communication. More caring and love provide the path to the hearts of our children. This book provides real life tools that can establish a connection that makes all parties involved happier and more confident in their lives. A life with no regrets at the end is to be cherished. Without joy, purpose and caring…life can be lonely and painful. Their is HOPE in these pages!”

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NOW!

Although I understand why the term “dysfunctional” is still being used to describe human interactions, I will personally NEVER use it!  As one of my art therapy graduate school professors so often insisted, “HUMANS ARE NOT PENCIL SHARPENERS!”

Nope.  We are not machines.  We are not mechanized.  We might not LIKE certain things about human patterns, but we are organic, living beings each living our lives given “what we know to be true.”

People are all ignorant of something!  Many are also very immature and many are sick.  Teach people!  Help them to grow up!  Help heal people!

All the books I listed above are about these processes.  I hope to eventually hold book studies with all of these books in combination because as the Delany sisters describe their lives – they HAD the kind of family life of love and health that Trayser is no doubt describing.

I DID MOST CERTAINLY NOT grow up in a healthy loving family!!!  Nope!!  I suspect that most readers of this blog did not, either.  We can acquire a lot of great things to think about by reading books such as the ones listed here.

And, of course, the American history the Delany sisters lived through and talk about in their book is also a MUST READ – for ALL Americans!  Our society is BECOMING healthier but we still have a long way to go.  The more information we can add to our considerations and actions toward healing – the better!

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Tuesday, April 12, 2016.  I received an email today from the Paper Tigers movie information people that included a link to a “primer” short video that very succinctly explains what the Centers for Disease Control’s Adverse Childhood Study and its findings mean.  This is a good link to send to someone you might know – who NEEDS to know about this vital information.

Below the video link is the information about it that was included in the email.  Also please note that there are a few more short videos following this primer.  Unfortunately the free screening of the ACEs resiliency film mentioned in these video clips for those subscribed to http://www.acesconnection.com/  is not helpful – the notification of this screening appearing in the emails sent out today were too late for the April 10th screening.  It sounds like there will be more free online screenings coming up – I hope I receive an email next time – on time!!

ACEs Primer video

Masterfully crafted by editor Jen Bradwell for the PAPER TIGERS and RESILIENCE producers Jamie Redford and Karen Pritzker, the “ACEs Primer” is their gift to the community currently combatting the health risks Toxic Stress and Adverse Childhood Experience. “It’s an easily digestible ACEs educational tool,” says Jen Bradwell, “which quickly and clearly explains what can be done about a stark, science-based reality: children raised in chronically stressful homes are prone to physical and mental health problems later in life.”

““If not communicated correctly,” says Jamie Redford, “this mind-body connection is at risk of being dismissed as too “Hippie-Dippie.  But when the story is embedded in the solid science behind it, the message can have hugely positive implications for how we approach treating and preventing everything from heart disease to alcoholism to depression and more.”

“Says Producer Karen Pritzker, “We wanted to answer the common questions that people have: What are ACEs? What’s an ACE score? What does my ACE score mean? What does it NOT mean? What do I do with this information now? How can this be used as a tool to improve the wellbeing of individuals and communities?“

“We sincerely hope it will be a helpful tool to raise awareness and start valuable conversations. The “ACEs Primer” is available on the KPJR website at http://www.papertigersmovie.com and http://www.resiliencemovie.com as well as on the PAPER TIGERS Educational DVD that is currently available for purchase through TUGG at:   http://licenses.tugg.com/products/paper-tigers

The educational version of Paper Tigers is on sale for 25% off through the month of April, which is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

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I am thinking about buying this book

The ACEs Revolution!: The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences– January 25, 2016 – by John Richard Trayser

Book blurb on Amazon.com:

John’s book does a superb job of giving hope on how to prevent ACEs and has remarkable results for EVERY FAMILY THAT READS THE SECOND PART OF THE BOOK OUT LOUD TOGETHER! Conversations will begin that are essential to heartfelt communication. The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study details the significant impact of childhood trauma on the emotional and physical well being for the remainder of your life. John’s book does a great job of showing the IMPACT of ACEs in all phases of our lives…and WE ARE ALL IMPACTED…even if you have zero ACEs yourself. This book gives hope to those who have lived in the shadows of pain and vulnerability from trauma in their childhood. His adopted grand daughter was a 7 ACE score…and after 9 years of love from the family…feels like a ZERO! You can change your stars with LOVE.”

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Sunday, April 3, 2016 – Excellent blog article here:  Is Your Brain Really Hardwired for Goodness’s Sake? — April 3, 2016 by Mark Brady

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The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity – author: Norman Doidge  — (James H. Silberman Book) Updated Edition – great reader reviews by clicking on this title link —

About the Author

Norman Doidge, M.D., is a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. He is on the research faculty at Columbia University’s Center for Psychoanalytic Training and Research in New York City and on the faculty of the University of Toronto’s department of psychiatry. His last book, The Brain that Changes Itself, was a New York Times bestseller with more than a million copies sold. He lives in Toronto.

Take a look at this, as well: The Enchanted Loom reviews Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain That Changes Itself

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To keep perspective – severe early trauma (high ACE score people especially from earliest months of life) are NOT able to develop in ordinary ways – huge topic, but to be kept in mind when reading ANYTHING that is by, for, about more ordinary physiologies from the beginning of life than ours is, as the following information begins to describe:

This article contains the most important information that survivors especially of INFANT-TODDLER maltreatment need to know:

The neurobiological consequences of early stress and childhood maltreatment.

Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 27 (2003) 33-44

Martin H. Teicher, Susan L. Andersen, Ann Polcari, Carl M. Anderson, Carryl P. Navalta, Dennis M. Kim

“In our hypothesis, postnatal neglect or other maltreatment serves to elicit a cascade of stress responses that organizes the brain to develop along a specific pathway selected to facilitate reproductive success and survival in a world of deprivation and strife.  This pathway, however, is costly as it is associated with an increased risk of developing serious medical and psychiatric disorders and is unnecessary and maladaptive in a more benign environment.  [page 39 – found by clicking on article title above]

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Saturday, April 2, 2016.  This is a post noting a link to some great coping-with-anxiety information for kids – including the kids in all adults – especially those with early histories of trauma!!

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This is online — 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child – written and posted by Renee Jain.  Thanks for this, Renee!

It happens to every child in one form or another – anxiety. As parents, we would like to shield our children from life’s anxious moments, but navigating anxiety is an essential life skill that will serve them in the years to come. During my years of studying positive psychology and working as a life coach, I’ve developed many tips for the parents of anxious kids. In the heat of the moment, try these simple phrases to help your children identify, accept, and work through their anxious moments.

  1. “Can you draw it?”

Drawing, painting or doodling about an anxiety provides kids with an outlet for their feelings when they can’t use their words.

  1. “I love you. You are safe.”

Being told you will be kept safe by the person you love the most is a powerful affirmation. Remember, anxiety makes your children feel as if their minds and bodies are in danger. Repeating they are safe can soothe the nervous system.

  1. “Let’s pretend we’re blowing up a giant balloon. We’ll take a deep breath and blow it up to the count of five.”

If you tell a child to take a deep breath in the middle of a panic attack, chances are you’ll hear, “I can’t!” Instead, make it a game. Pretend to blow up a balloon, making funny noises in the process. Taking three deep breaths and blowing them out will actually reverse the stress response in the body and may even get you a few giggles in the process.

  1. “I will say something and I want you to say it exactly as I do: ‘I can do this.’” Do this 10 times at different volumes.

Marathon runners use this trick all of the time to get past “the wall.”

  1. “Why do you think that is?”

This is especially helpful for older kids who can better articulate the “why” in what they are feeling.”

Read 44 more by clicking here!! — 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child – And take a look at other information on this great site!

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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Thursday, March 31, 2016. I found this in my email box this morning from the most incredible blog website of scientific curatorship – Surface Your Real Self – this important post:

What is epigenetic inheritance?

This 2016 review by Eric J. Nestler, a well-known and well-funded researcher, entitled Transgenerational Epigenetic Contributions to Stress Responses: Fact or Fiction? concluded:

“Further work is needed to understand whether and to what extent true epigenetic inheritance of stress vulnerability adds to the well-established and powerful influence of genetics and environmental exposures in determining an individual’s susceptibility versus resilience to stress throughout life

There is growing evidence for at least some contribution of epigenetic regulation—perhaps achieved by miRNAs—in mediating part of the ability of parental behavioral experience to influence stress vulnerability in their offspring.”

The reviewer applied the terms involved to exclude behavioral mechanisms. The extent of what is “epigenetic inheritance” seemed to be lost in the process.

For example, his own 2011 research Paternal Transmission of Stressed-Induced Pathologies was cited for evidence that:

“Adult male mice subjected to chronic social defeat stress generate offspring that are more vulnerable to a range of stressful stimuli than the offspring of control mice.”

Please click here to read more!  This is MUST-KNOW information! — What is epigenetic inheritance?

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I have summed up my take on this blog over the years = For humans > We are created with the potential to be in nearly all cases PERFECTLY HEALTHY AND HAPPY!

We are also created to endure, survive, and when any aspect of the environment we are born into – primarily signaled by the condition of health and happiness in MOTHER – is less than ideal, her condition signals to her rapidly developing offspring the quality of the world SHE lives in so that her offspring can utilize every creative force possible to adapt to those conditions.

(I believe that post-birth mother communicates the state of her well-being to her offspring via the quality of her interactions with her little one.  Mother has TO BE AVAILABLE to her little one in order for healthful world qualities to be conveyed to young one.  The existence to the offspring of the ABSENCE of the PRESENCE of MOTHER communicates all by  itself – and in BIG ways – that there is something WRONG with the world environment the infant has been born into, and that conditions of scarcity and deprivation are in existence.  Physiological development WILL be altered for such a little one as it prepares to live a life in a less-than-optimal world whose existence has been communicated in every way by these deprivation conditions.  We seriously need to quit fooling ourselves about these facts, and epigentic factors absolutely DO work to translate all traumas to little ones.) (Healthy loving grandmothers, aunties who know their mothering stuff can replace mothers except for breastfeeding needs in the first 1-2+ years of little one’s life.)

The phrase in my mind this morning = “The onrushing gales of destiny….” (in a prayer written around 1870)

Along with these words comes the knowledge this morning that there are at present nearly 7.5 billion humans alive on this planet.  What goodness do we each add to life today?  What negativity do we choose to eliminate – for good?

We are in this life together – with all life.  There are answers to our problems if we are willing to be mature enough to pay attention to them.  What important lessons will we learn individually and collectively today?  It’s out choice.

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

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Leave a Comment »

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Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

+YOU WANT TO BE

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Saturday, March 19, 2016.  I am now old enough, having lived almost to my 65th birthday, to talk about things in terms of “many years ago,” and be accurate!  (This includes my not only surviving my own childhood, but also having survived these past nine years past advanced, aggressive breast cancer.)

So I can say it was three decades ago that I participated myself through a version of what I today embellish past the original “one part” into my “three parts” (maybe even four parts) process I describe today.

Because I am a craft person, and because I so enjoy creating things in 3-dimensions, and because I like to handle supplies, materials and objects, this little suggestion involves a supply list!

Any version of this will do – so experiment!  However, I suggest:

3 old fashioned recipe boxes (large or small)

LOTS of old fashioned index cards to fit into your boxes

Pens, markers, pencils, crayons – whatever!

NOW!

There are all kinds of ways you can label and/or decorate your boxes.  Paint on them, decoupage them, tape and glue things onto them, mark on them, label and name them – or not.

NOW, the important part!  Into #1  box will go all the “negative” harsh, painful, etc. statements that appear in your mind.  Start with the first one that appears once you are ready to begin this venture.  Number that card somewhere with (1), and off you go as you continue to write each one down on a card, number it in order, and stick it in its “old stuff” box.

Now – the trick here – is that once one of these wicked thoughts (all having come from some abuse in your earlier life) comes into mind you do NOT write it down when it comes back again.  Soon you will know when it shows up that a thought has its own card already.  You can choose, then, what you want to do with these repeats, these reruns.  Take its original card out and spend a little time noting this resurrection if this is helpful.  Make some kind of note, date or something, that keeps track of when it appears again – whatever you want – whatever seems natural and useful to you.

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NOW – in a 2nd box write down on a card super positive thoughts when THEY appear in your mind, going through the same process as just mentioned for repeats of these thoughts, as well.  These are encouragements, positive affirmations that fit for you, things people say to you on a given day, etc.

You can even title these card boxes and their collections like “SUPER POOPER” and “SUPER DUPER,” – whatever seems to work for you!

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Box #3?  Ah Ha!  Completely NEW STUFF!  Into this box you begin to number cards (I would suggest dating all cards in all boxes) that express thoughts that make you happy NOW and might even seem brand new – thoughts that are connected to what you want to DO next – however close or far away that period of NEXT might be.  These cards are from your creative, continually growing and evolving own inner soul self!

These cards are NOT about gaining material things UNLESS such a thing be connected to a self-desire that has an activity-of-new-life component.  Want to dance?  What to sing, make music, join a band?  Want to take or teach a cooking class, improve your kitchen?  Your garden?  Want to hike or travel or swim or skydive?  Want to write, perform, run for office?  Be an ice cream vendor?

Who cares WHAT you write on any of these cards?  YOU DO!!

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Truthfully, I only imagine boxes 2 and 3 – because I only so long ago availed myself of box 1 – and it was FANTASTIC!!!  While before I had felt that if I were to make an ongoing list of negative (horribly so) things that had been said to and about me in during the 18 years of my so-abusive childhood the list would be unending – like the porridge from escaping the magic pot in the fairy tale whose overflowing sticky muck swallowed up people, homes, villages and entire country sides – and COULD NOT BE STOPPED!

Not so.  It actually did not take very long before every single repeating hopeless (awful statement about me from my mother), thought (and feeling) had been recorded.  Every horrible condemnation.  All those mental repeating ugly statements (including feelings attached to them and generated by them) had been recorded!

Tidily.  Respectfully.  There they all were in their little box – with all repetitions noted as they seemed to matter to me – until after only a few short months they whole process became simply BORING!!  I clearly now KNEW what was in that #1 box, kept there safely I will admit for a few more years until one day I simply burned the cards and reused the box to keep record of art techniques that interested me.

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Only vaguely have those discarded statements ever returned specifically to my mind, so thoroughly did I work this process out at the time – way back then.  I KNOW the process I went through to fight back against them, and THAT process was so empowering that what was on those cards matters less to me than the flies I have swatted and killed over the years of my adulthood.  What was Mother’s I have given to her.  What is mine – I honor and cherish in the very best ways I know how to.  I no longer live by that mad litany.

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Some people might call box #2 “A Mommy Box” as they end up putting in there cards that document, each on their own card, statements mothers (and fathers if we call this “A Parent Box” – or if you have a missing father, or a crummy father – another “Father Box”) – so that these missing elements can be tracked, accumulated, reckoned with, healed – whatever needs to be done to incorporate positive elements and components that feed and sustain instead of hurt and erode.

An expanded version of this process can include the creation of a separate notebook, a larger file, and/or a scrapbook that will hold awards, newspaper clippings, great representations of anything you feel represents the greatness of YOU and of accomplishments you find happiness-making!!

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Part of what I like about these kinds of processes is that they “materialize” things that matter – in a manner that recognizes these aspects of life.  What might seem on the negative side to be unending and overwhelming and hopeless – is not!!!

So does some version of this seem fun or useful?  Give it a whirl!

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Here is our first book out in ebook format.  Click here to view or purchase–

Story Without Words:  How Did Child Abuse Break My Mother?

It lists for $2.99 and can be read by Amazon Prime customers without charge.  A daring book – for daring readers – about a really tough subject.

++++

Leave a Comment »

++++

Tags: adult attachment disordersadult reactive attachment disorderanxiety disorders,borderline motherborderline personality disorderbrain developmentchild abuse,depression,derealizationdisorganized disoriented insecure attachment disorder,dissociation,dissociative identity disorderempathyinfant abusePosttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),protective factorsPTSDresiliencyresiliency factorsrisk factorsshame

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