My age 31 journal continues as I left my husband and children, finished college, and ended up on the doorsteps of yet another treatment program, this one specifically designed to address both trauma and addiction. I was Peter Panella with my own host of Lost Girls.
Archive for October, 2009
+PETER PANELLA AND ALL MY LOST GIRLS – AGE 31 JOURNALS, THE NEXT STEPS
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, brain development, child abuse, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, empathy disorder, fear, genetics, grief, healing, learning, loss, maltreatment, memory, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sadness, trauma bond, trauma memory, triggers on October 31, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
+BEING CHEERFUL AND COURAGEOUS IN THE FACE OF A TERRIBLE REALITY
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, empathy disorder, evolution, fear, genetics, grief, healing, infant abuse, learning, loss, memory, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sadness, trauma memory, triggers, witness abuse on October 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I cannot pull any punches. Surviving child abuse is a serious matter that needs to concern both those that endured it and those who were fortunate enough not to. Some important information contained her from a comment-reply and from the Center for Disease Control….
+TODAY’S ARTWORK – A BORDERLINE MOTHER’S DAUGHTER -
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, art therapy, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, bonding, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, brain development, child abuse, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, empathy disorder, grief, healing, infant abuse, learning, malevolent world, mean mother, memory, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sadness, trauma, trauma bond, trauma memory, triggers, witness abuse on October 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Every image has something powerful to say. Because we are often raised, particularly those of us with severe child abuse histories, unable to stand in our own power as individual selves, it is often the experience of the power of creating itself that feels frightening to us. Link to my artwork from today….
+THE GLIMMER OF BEGINNING TO KNOW WHO I AM
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, dissociative identity disorder, empathy disorder, fear, feminism, grief, healing, learning, maltreatment, mean mother, memory, mental illness, mothering, parenting, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sadness, trauma, trauma memory, triggers, violence, witness abuse on October 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Some great stuff on preventing child abuse — and — My age 30 journal continues to my 31st birthday in 1982, and I am feeling better. Part of how that happened came through my ‘discovery’ of so-called ‘feminism’ where for the first time in my life I began to understand that women experience their lives very differently than men do. I believe I was for the first time in my life beginning to collect for myself a sense of my own personal empowerment.
+MISSING IN ACTION: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE SELF OF LINDA?
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, antidepressants, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, bonding, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, brain development, child abuse prevention, child development, depression, dissociation, empathy disorder, fear, infant abuse, malevolent world, maltreatment, mean mother, memory, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, recovery, sadness, trauma memory, witness abuse on October 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I went ‘Missing In Action’ in the combat zone of my childhood with my severe Borderline mother from the moment I was born. That I was still MIA at age 30 should not surprise me — journal continued –
+ALL OF ME. I DON’T HAVE ‘A CHILD WITHIN’
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, art therapy, attachment disorder, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, empathy disorder, fear, grief, infant abuse, malevolent world, mean mother, memory, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, sadness, trauma, trauma memory, triggers, witness abuse on October 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I do not believe in the concept of a ‘child within’. Why create an artificial and arbitrary category ANY so-called part of our self? If we suffer from dissociation from early severe child abuse, that is one thing, and we can name it. But we are, at every ongoing instant of our lifespan, our own single-most true self. Whether we can FEEL our self or not is another matter altogether, but this has nothing to do with some ‘alien child within’. (also, link to today’s art images)
+JUST A LINK TO A LITTLE “HAPPY” AND A LITTLE “BREATHER” TECHNIQUES
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse prevention, dissociation, emotions, empathy disorder, grief, happiness, healing, infant abuse, maltreatment, mean mother, memory, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, seasonal affective disorder, trauma, trauma memory, witness abuse on October 28, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Link to page on a few “happier” tips and something on mindful breathing. A little boost for a cool gray wet day!
+LIVING IN THE ACCEPTANCE ZONE: WAS THE REAL ME PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR?
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, acceptance, adult attachment disorder, antidepressants, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, bonding, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, boundaries, bpd, brain development, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, dissociative disorder, grief, healing, infant abuse, insecure attachment disorder, maltreatment, mean mother, memory, mental illness, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sadness, trauma, trauma memory, witness abuse on October 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
I question the whole 12-step requirement for ‘acceptance.’ I think we can accept ourselves into terribly destructive and unhappy situations, while we all the time blame ourselves if we DARE to whimper or question our lives. (More Age 30 1981 Journal entries)
+’RED HIGH ALERT’ EMOTIONS AND ASSISTANCE FROM ASTROLOGY
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, astrology, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse prevention, depression, dissociation, empathy disorder, fear, genetics, grief, healing, infant abuse, insecure attachment, learning, malevolent world, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, recovery, sadness, transactional analysis, trauma, trauma memory, triggers, witness abuse on October 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Can an excellent astrologer provide information that can help with abuse recovery? Yes, I believe they absolutely can. Here is one a report from one of the readings I had done, and a recommendation for a ‘best of the best’ astrologer.
+HOW DO WE BUILD A LIFE WHEN WE DO NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE?
Posted in Trauma and Its Consequences, tagged abuse, anxiety disorders, attachment disorder, attachment disorders, borderline mother, borderline personality disorder, brain development, child abuse, child abuse prevention, dissociation, grief, healing, learning, loss, mental illness, mothering, posttraumatic stress disorder, PTSD, recovery, trauma, trauma bond, trauma memory, triggers, violence on October 26, 2009 | 2 Comments »
How do we create a life that makes us happy when we grow up so abused we don’t have a clue who we even are? I was so dissociated and fragmented from my own self that my life just kept right on going without me really being in it. — and more BPD info…
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