+LINK TO THE OTHER AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL WRITINGS OF MY GRANDMOTHER

Here’s what my mother’s mother said about her childhood, education, career, marriage, and mothering. I read it hoping to find some ‘evidence of trauma’ that might explain what pushed my mother over the Borderline edge. Here I find only that mother’s father did not want to be a dad.

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+IN MY GRANDMOTHER’S circa 1930 WORDS – Hard times in my mother’s age 4 and 5 year old life

Here’s my mother’s mother’s 1930 description of the last year of her marriage to my mother’s father. It covers my mother’s ages 4 to 5, a time when I’ve always believed things happened that helped push my mother even further ‘over the edge’, over the Borderline.

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+WAS MY FATHER’S ‘SELF’ MISSING IN ACTION DURING OUR CHILDHOOD?

Please don’t miss these siblings’ comments about my father — link here. Was my father just another one of my mother’s victims?

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+IN THINK IN MY MIND MY FATHER AND THE MOUNTAIN WERE ONE

Too much sadness in my childhood — seen in some picture (links) here — but also a genuinely HAPPY ONE of us 4 kids — how rare! And it comes to me that in my mind, the mountain and my father were one — I never expected either one to save me.

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+LINKS TO SOME EARLY PHOTOGRAPHS 1959

Some photo links to homesteading — I attached to that mountain!

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+CRIMES OF MY FATHER: WAS HE AS BAD AS MY MOTHER WAS?

….what could and should my father have done differently during my childhood? Was he no different than a Nazi participating in the crimes of a Holocaust? Was he as guilty as my mother was in the terrible abuse that happened to me? Was he equally her victim?

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+TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO ASK THE SERIOUS QUESTIONS ABOUT MY FATHER

What do I know about my father? What CAN I know about my father? Tonight I open a new page to include him within my re-search.

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+LINK TO 3rd GRADER ME — WINTER PHOTOGRAPH of DISSOCIATION

Here’s a link to a picture of me at 8 years old on the mountain in the winter — I am a frozen cut-out of a child — it’s a picture of dissociation — I know it. I was there — right there — in that body — in that turquoise parka.

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+LINK TO PHOTOGRAPH OF MY FATHER

Link is here to the blog’s first picture of my father…..

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+LINKS TO BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER SITE

More great info from About.com on Borderline Personality Disorder — follow these links!

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